November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Awesome Workers

Caller Bit Off More Than He Could Chew

| Australia | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

(I work in a medical research institute, and the colleague sitting next to me handles recruitment for a large trial, so her name and phone number are on all the promotional material we hand out. She has a beautiful phone manner and I’ve never heard her say a harsh word to anyone. The phone rings.)

Colleague: “[Discipline] Research Centre, this is [Colleague]. How may I help you?”


Colleague: *sweetly* “Well, sir, if you shoved you big throbbing c*** in my mouth, I’d bite it off. Will that be all?”

A Very Scrambled Shortbus

| IL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the a**-hole in this story. After drinking far too much, a bunch of buddies and I go to this breakfast place. I don’t really want to go, but my buddies insist, so I am barely awake when the waitress comes up to us.)

Waitress: “All right, fellas, what can I get for you?”

(My friends order, then she gets to me.)

Waitress: “And for you?”

Me: “Hmm?”

Waitress: “Food? Mouth? Yours. You know. Restaurant stuff.”

Me: “Oh! Right, sorry. Eggs and bacon, please.”

Waitress: “How you want those eggs, hon?”

Me: “Orange juice.”

Waitress: “Oh… ‘shortbus.’ Your name’s ‘shortbus’ now. I’ll be back with your Orange Juice Eggs.”

Me: “Oh, god! No! Scrambled! I meant scrambled!”

Interruption Is Its Own Reward

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

(One of my biggest pet peeves is when customers are on their phones during checkout. So much so, sometimes I don’t even bother asking for their rewards cards.)

Customer: *on the phone and as the receipt is printing out* “What about my rewards card?”

Me: *being passive aggressive, but still being nice* “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Take A Coffee, And Make It Better

| OK, USA | Awesome Workers, Musical Mayhem

(I’m a cashier for a well known coffee chain, and whenever it’s slow I like to make everyone’s cups special. A man and a woman have just entered the nearly empty cafe.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. What can I get you?”

Man: *rattles off three drink orders and two names*

Me: “All right, and the name for that last latte?”

Man: “Oh, it’s for my mom. Her name is Jude.”

Me: *adds “hey” and some music notes around the name in reference to The Beatles song “Hey Jude”*

Man: “Oh, man, she’s going to love that!”

Me: “Oh, well in that case.”

Me: *picks up the cup for the woman, Sarah, and adds “smiles” and some more music notes as a reference to the Panic! At The Disco song “Sarah Smiles”*

Woman: “Oh, my gosh; I love that song!”

Me: “I really don’t want to leave you out, sir, but I can’t think of any songs with the name “Greg” in them, sooo…”

Me: *adds brackets around the name and even more notes*

Me: “There you go. You’re an instrumental track, like from a movie!”

Man: “A cool movie?”

Me: “The coolest.”

(They left me a $5 tip for a $7 order and took pictures of the cups. It’s my favorite customer story for this job yet.)

Taking Time To Appreciate Good Customers

| Tartu, Estonia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(A nice young woman my age comes into the fast food restaurant and orders a less commonly selected item. I have to go into the back of the store to get the ingredients because whatever coworker had made this item before hadn’t restocked the ingredients on the line.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait. I’ll try to make your item as fast as possible.”

Customer: “No worries; it’s actually for my boss.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Customer: “Actually, the longer you take to make her lunch the less time I have to spend working.”

Me: “That’s interesting, because you’re a nice customer and the longer I spend making your item the less time I have to deal with rude customers.”

(Long story short, an item that should have taken me about five minutes took about fifteen minutes.)