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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Awesome Workers

    A Well-Trained Conductor

    | Liverpool, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

    (I am a passenger travelling on the train when the conductor comes down to check tickets. A passenger in front of me purchases a ticket to the next stop. The train carries on and finally arrives at the next stop of the journey and the conductor notices the passenger is still on board with no intention of moving so approaches the passenger.)

    Conductor: “This is your stop.”

    Passenger: “No, it’s not.”

    Conductor: “You asked for a ticket to the next stop. This is it.”

    Passenger: “Well I meant [station several stops away].”

    Conductor: “Okay, that’ll be [price].”

    Passenger: “Nah, mate.”

    Conductor: “You either buy a ticket or get off the train.”

    Passenger: “You think I’m soft? I travel this train all the time and never buy a ticket.”

    Conductor: “Well, with that information you can either get off this train now or wait here for the police to show up, delaying all of these other passengers.”

    (The passenger refuses and the back and forth goes on for a while with customers getting agitated at the passenger. After a few minutes, the conductor goes to the back on the train and makes an announcement.)

    Conductor: *over announcement system* “Apologies for the delay of this service. This is due to a lowlife passenger attempting to travel on this service without a valid ticket, who apparently thinks you’re all mugs for buying one.”

    (With this, the train erupted into laughter and the passenger quickly got up and ran off the train, avoiding eye contact with everyone. The train then left the station only a few minutes later than planned.)

    Doesn’t Have The Tea-Total

    | Milton Keynes, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (I am in a train station and figure I’ll get a cup of tea from the on-site cafe as I have about an hour until my train.)

    Me: “How much for a cup of tea?”

    Employee: “£1.50.”

    Me: *checks change in my pocket* “Never mind, I don’t have enough.”

    Employee: “How much do you have?”

    Me: “£1.33.”

    Employee: “That’ll do. It’s too cold to go out without a cuppa!”

    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On, Part 2

    | Athens, GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I’m a carhop at the Sonic near my house. I had knee surgery a few months ago and have to wear a pretty heavy brace under my uniform to be able to walk. It also means I can’t skate. People can get pretty rude if you’re not on skates.)

    Me: “Hi! Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “Why aren’t you on skates?”

    (I’m getting annoyed at this point. It’s Super Bowl Sunday and we’re busy.)

    Me: “Skating isn’t required. ma’am. Your total is—”

    Customer: *angrily* “I’m not going to give you my f****** money unless you’re on skates. I’m paying good money to this place so you should be on skates!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. I can’t skate. Your total is—”

    Customer: “I’m not giving you s*** unless you go put on skates and give me my food!”

    (The lady’s yelling at me now, but I’m still trying to be polite.)

    Me: “I can’t give you your food until you give me the money, ma’am. And I can’t go put on skates.”

    Customer: “WHY THE F*** NOT?!”

    (I’m pissed at this point so I just say the first that comes to mind.)

    Me: “I can’t skate because it makes my prosthetic leg fall off.”

    Customer: “…Huh?”

    Me: “The parking lot isn’t very smooth so the vibrations make my leg fall off.”

    Customer: “You’re s****** me.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m not.”

    (I knock on the metal of the brace to get the point across but she still doesn’t look convinced. Placing the tray of food on her car hood I unhook the brace on my leg. It sticks out at a weird angle and legitimately makes it look like I just took off my leg. The lady’s gone sheet white and is gaping like a fish at this point.)

    Me: “Lost it last year.”

    (I snap the brace back in place and pick the tray back up.)

    Me: “Your total is [total].”

    (The lady shoved a fifty in my face, grabbed her food, and peeled out of the parking lot. Happy about my thirty-something dollar tip I went back inside to get another order and found my manager and just about every other employee crowded about one of the intercoms and laughing their a**es off.)

    Related:
    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

    | Lawrence, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (I am standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier asks the customer in front:)

    Cashier: “Do you want paper or plastic?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter, I’m biSACKtual.”

    (After he left, the cashier turned to the bagger:)

    Cashier: “It’s a good thing the other guy wasn’t here today; he’s hydrophobic.”

    Gramps Is Smiling On You This Day

    | Tartu, Estonia | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (A very elderly man with flowers on his walker comes in and orders his food. I take a lot of effort to make sure he gets exactly what he wants because he reminds me of my great-grandpa, who has just passed away. After making his food, I help him find a spot for it in this basket on the walker. As he walks to the door I walk to go back to my register but I realize the door will be too heavy. I run to the door and open it for him.)

    Customer: *with a smile that reminds me just of Gramps* “That is the nicest thing you could ever do for me.”

    Me: “It’s my pleasure, sir.”

    (And that moment, Lady and Gents, made my job have some real meaning for the first time.)

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