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    Category: Awesome Workers

    Shaping Up To Be An Awful Night

    | MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in a fancy little restaurant dealing with snooty stuck-up rich people.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like the [Restaurant Name] salad, and I want the avocado slices on the left side of the salad.”

    Me: “All right, we’ll put the order in and have your salads up in a few minutes.”

    (Roughly 10 minutes go by. I grab the food from the kitchen.)

    Me: “Here are your salads.”

    Customer: “What the h***l is this! I SAID I WANTED THE AVOCADO ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SALAD!”

    (I notice that I served him his salad with the avocado on the right.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, just let me rectify this.”

    (I proceed to spin his salad around for him so now the avocado is on his left.)

    Customer: “WELL, NOW ALL I HAVE IS A BACKWARDS SALAD! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER! I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU GET FIRED BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE THE MOST INCOMPETENT WAITER THERE IS THAT YOU CAN’T LISTEN TO SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS AND KNOW YOUR LEFT AND RIGHT!”

    (I walk to my manager, quickly explain the issue, and he walks over to the customer.)

    Customer: “Your employee here is an absolute disgrace! I can’t imagine why [Restaurant Owner] hired them. They don’t even know their left from right! I demand reconciliation and the cost of the rest of my meal be compensated for this vast incompetence.”

    Manager: “Well, sir, I’d like to explain a simple fact. We are not going to be comping your meal; your argument and complaint is absolutely ridiculous. The salad is on a circular plate, there are no sides to a salad. It cannot be backwards. I apologize for your problem with shapes and hope you have a wonderful night.”

    Me: “So, what would you like to order for entrees, or would you just like the bill?”

    I Don’t Speak Racist

    , | USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry

    (One of my teammates is calling me to transfer a customer’s call. I’m born and raised in California. She is of Asian descent, and although her English is quite good it’s not her first language and she has her native accent.)

    Teammate: “My customer says he wants to talk to an ‘American.’ He won’t talk to me at all.”

    Me: “Seriously? It still amazes me how bigoted some people can be. I’m sorry; I’ll be GLAD to take the call.”

    Teammate: *trying to stifle the tears brought on by the customer’s abusive comments towards her* “Thank you; I’ll bring him on.” *pause* “Sir? I have my banker [My Name] on the line. He will be taking your call from here.”

    Me: *with a very slight Eastern Indian accent* “Hello, thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: What the f***! I said I wanted to talk to a god-d**** American! I DEMAND that you get me a blue-blooded American on the phone, RIGHT NOW, or you are going to be in a WORLD of hurt. NOW!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. The person that transferred your call to me was BY FAR one of the most qualified bankers we have, and—”

    Customer: “YOU SHUT UP! GET ME AN AMERICAN NOW, or I swear to god, you’re NOT going to like what comes next!”

    Me: “I’m as American as they come. Born in the US, and lived here most of my life. Unfortunately, I don’t share your ridiculously myopic, bigoted views on other cultures, and find it unlikely that we’re going to be able to communicate.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “We just don’t speak the same language. I don’t feel—”

    Customer: “Hey! I talk English, just like you! I’m not gonna let one of those [racial slur] or [even worse racial slur] look at my—”

    Me: “—see, that’s just it. I don’t speak that language. Since we don’t offer language translation services for your particular language, I’m afraid I’ll have to disconnect at this point. Have a great day, and thank you for calling [Bank].”

    Customer: “Hey! Wait! I need—” *click*

    (One of the supervisors (that doesn’t like me much) listens in on the call, and afterwards immediately reports me to management. The next day, I get pulled into a closed-door meeting with the center’s head-manager.)

    Manager: “I’m sure you know why you’re here. This was completely inappropriate; you know very well that ALL customers are due the same level of service, no matter what their particular beliefs are, and what you did was so out-of-bounds, I’m not even sure where I would start in filling out the paperwork to let you go. So, since I don’t know where to start, I suppose it wouldn’t make much sense to even try. That being said, PLEASE keep yourself in check. We’re a professional organization, and our customers expect the utmost respect from us when they call, okay?”

    Me: “Yeah. I’m sorry. If it happens again, I’ll just get a supervisor.”

    Manager: “Sounds good. Glad we had this talk. Hey, on a more personal note – good job! Don’t EVER do it again, but good job. All the managers have listened to it, and we were all rolling with laughter – we couldn’t believe that you stood up to him like you did. Just… you know; don’t do it again.” *wink*

    Always Time For A Rhyme

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words, Top

    (Our county council has online web-forms for people to get in touch.)

    Customer Email:

    “The winds outside blew and blew
    and my bin lid verily flew
    in a lickety split
    I emailed you quick
    to request a brand new one from you”

    (Since the customer did not tell us whether it was her recycling or refuse bin that broke in the weather I have to contact her back. It is the first time I have EVER received a request in limerick form, so I decide to phone the lady. Unfortunately, it goes to voicemail.)

    Me: *to the voicemail*

    “The council received your request
    but you leave us a little perplexed
    Amidst rhyming hype
    forgot ye the type
    of the bin-lid you meant to suggest”

    Wait An Extra Hour For The Bigotry Bus

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Transportation

    (I work as a city bus driver in San Antonio and I’m fairly openly transgender… I believe it’s more than obvious even in uniform. I hear and receive a few insults daily. I normally deal with those pretty easily, but today one struck a nerve, mostly because it was aimed at someone else on the bus doing something really nice. An obviously gay man is offering the seat next to them to an old man.)

    Old Man: “I don’t want to be seated next to some [homosexual slur]!”

    (I park the bus and look back.)

    Me: “Then you wouldn’t want to be driven around by one either. The next bus is in a hour. You can catch it here.”

    (The whole bus is dead silent for 20 seconds. Then the old man starts cursing me out, calling me every name in the book.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m giving you 30 seconds before I call the cops and have you removed off this bus for discrimination.”

    (The old man continued cursing but left the second I reached for the phone. The whole bus applauded and pretty much thanked me/congratulated me as they left. The man I defended gave me a five dollar tip and a thank you as he left!)

    Date Updated

    | Reading, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I get home from work to find my wife (who gets home before me) has unpacked the shopping which has been delivered.)

    Me: “What do you want for tea?”

    Wife: “We were going to have macaroni but we’ll have to have the chicken biryani instead because it goes out of date today. There were six things which go out today, which is outrageous.”

    Me: “I thought they were supposed to inform you when they gave you things with today’s use-by date?”

    Wife: “So did I. So I rang them up to complain. Such a nice lady, she apologised and gave us a refund on each of these articles.”

    Me: “Nice of her.” *goes to fridge* “What, this chicken Biryani? Doesn’t go out of date until Saturday.”

    (Today is Thursday.)

    Wife: “What! But it distinctly says: use by the 12th.”

    Me: “Yes, and today’s the 10th.”

    Wife: “Oops.”

    (She rang the supermarket back and was really apologetic about it. The woman at the other end was so happy to receive an apologetic phone call she let us keep the refund.)

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