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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Awesome Workers

    Always Time For A Rhyme

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

    (Our county council has online web-forms for people to get in touch.)

    Customer Email:

    “The winds outside blew and blew
    and my bin lid verily flew
    in a lickety split
    I emailed you quick
    to request a brand new one from you”

    (Since the customer did not tell us whether it was her recycling or refuse bin that broke in the weather I have to contact her back. It is the first time I have EVER received a request in limerick form, so I decide to phone the lady. Unfortunately, it goes to voicemail.)

    Me: *to the voicemail*

    “The council received your request
    but you leave us a little perplexed
    Amidst rhyming hype
    forgot ye the type
    of the bin-lid you meant to suggest”

    Wait An Extra Hour For The Bigotry Bus

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Transportation

    (I work as a city bus driver in San Antonio and I’m fairly openly transgender… I believe it’s more than obvious even in uniform. I hear and receive a few insults daily. I normally deal with those pretty easily, but today one struck a nerve, mostly because it was aimed at someone else on the bus doing something really nice. An obviously gay man is offering the seat next to them to an old man.)

    Old Man: “I don’t want to be seated next to some [homosexual slur]!”

    (I park the bus and look back.)

    Me: “Then you wouldn’t want to be driven around by one either. The next bus is in a hour. You can catch it here.”

    (The whole bus is dead silent for 20 seconds. Then the old man starts cursing me out, calling me every name in the book.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m giving you 30 seconds before I call the cops and have you removed off this bus for discrimination.”

    (The old man continued cursing but left the second I reached for the phone. The whole bus applauded and pretty much thanked me/congratulated me as they left. The man I defended gave me a five dollar tip and a thank you as he left!)

    Date Updated

    | Reading, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I get home from work to find my wife (who gets home before me) has unpacked the shopping which has been delivered.)

    Me: “What do you want for tea?”

    Wife: “We were going to have macaroni but we’ll have to have the chicken biryani instead because it goes out of date today. There were six things which go out today, which is outrageous.”

    Me: “I thought they were supposed to inform you when they gave you things with today’s use-by date?”

    Wife: “So did I. So I rang them up to complain. Such a nice lady, she apologised and gave us a refund on each of these articles.”

    Me: “Nice of her.” *goes to fridge* “What, this chicken Biryani? Doesn’t go out of date until Saturday.”

    (Today is Thursday.)

    Wife: “What! But it distinctly says: use by the 12th.”

    Me: “Yes, and today’s the 10th.”

    Wife: “Oops.”

    (She rang the supermarket back and was really apologetic about it. The woman at the other end was so happy to receive an apologetic phone call she let us keep the refund.)

    Dolled Up And Priced Down

    | Summit, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (I work at a small mom and pop pharmacy. We are having a buy-one-get-one sale on some collectible dolls. A middle-aged female customer is browsing the collectibles. There are six different dolls, each a different color. I happen to be at the counter where they are displayed.)

    Me: “Hello, I see you are interested in these dolls.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m unsure which one to get.”

    Me: “Well, we are having a sale on them.”

    Customer: “I see.”

    Me: “Well, just inform me which ones you decide on.”

    Customer: *eyes light up* “I can get more than one!?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How much for one?”

    Me: “$14.50.”

    (The customer starts counting on her fingers, then sighs.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I only have enough money for three of them.”

    (I am confused.)

    Customer: “Even with your sale, I would only get be able to get four.”

    (I figure out what is the misunderstanding in her logic.)

    Me: “How about this, you buy three and I’ll give you the other three on the house?”

    Customer: “You will won’t you get in trouble for that?”

    Me: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

    (I got her dolls and rang her up. She kinda skipped out of the store.)

    Acting His Shoe Size

    | NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

    (I’m 15 and I work at my father’s sports bar. All legal except I can’t carry alcohol. I receive inappropriate comments from time to time from the intoxicated men I’m surrounded by. I am bussing a group’s table when this happens.)

    Customer: “Hey I like your shoes! Do you like mine?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah, sure. They’re nice.”

    Customer: “They’re a size twelve. You know what they say about big feet?”

    (After realizing the situation was heading this direction I tried to come up with the wittiest answer I could muster.)

    Me: “Um, big egos?”

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