November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Awesome Workers

The Power To End This Call

| USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Technology

(After a expletive-laced tantrum on the phone about an issue I resolved, I’m still being screamed at by this jerk, for no reason. Finally I have had enough.)


Me: “Sorry to interrupt your tirade, sir, but I just need to verify a few details.”

Caller: “Okay, what?!”

Me: “Your name is [Caller], you live at [Address], your phone number is [number], your wife’s phone number is [number], your birthdate is [date], you work at [Business,] your mother’s maiden name is [Name], and your social security number is [number], correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you know who I am?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “I’m the girl who makes eight bucks an hour to put up with the likes of you. I can ruin your life, and have another job making eight bucks an hour tomorrow. I suggest that you speak to me like a big boy. Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. [social security number]?”

Caller: “No. I’m sure you are not allowed to tell people to f*** off, so I’m just gonna do it myself.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Have a great day.”

No More Grand Grande Requests

| Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(I go to my local Starbucks, and step in line behind three high school students:)

Student #1: “I’d like a grande carmel brûlée latte with a double pump of carmel and extra whipped cream.”

Student #2: “I’ll have a venti iced pumpkin spice latte with three shots, extra whipped cream. Don’t put too much ice in, please.”

Student #3: “I’ll take a grande caramel brûlée frappuccino blended coffee with extra caramel and extra whipped cream.”

(Throughout this transaction the barista is polite and efficient. I approach the counter and order my usual.)

Me: “Grande latte, please.”

(The barista looked up and mouthed the words “thank you” before completing my order. Made my day!)

Paperless Transaction

| Surrey, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(When I process returns and exchanges, the register still gives me a total. Sometimes I like to have fun with this.)

Me: *processing an exchange* “Okay, that’ll be $0.00, please.”

Customer: *pretends to pull something out of his/her wallet and hands me air*

(It’s nice to know that some of my customers share the same sense of humor as I do.)

Back To The Uber

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule, Transportation

(A large group of us are going from a house party to a club, so we order two separate Ubers. My group gets into the second Uber just as the first one is pulling away.)

Me: “Driver! Follow that car!”

Uber Driver: “Awesome! I’ve always wanted someone to say that!”

(We pull away and start following our friends in the first Uber.)

Uber Driver: “So, why are we following them?”

(My three slightly tipsy friends and I all answer simultaneously.)

Friend #1: “Kidnapping.”

Friend #2: “Terrorists.”

Friend #3: “Aliens.”

Me: “Time Travelers.”

Uber Driver: “So… time-traveling alien terrorists have kidnapped someone?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Uber Driver: “Well I have a flux-capacitor in the back!”

Me: “But this isn’t a DeLorean!”

Uber Driver: “Yeah, Uber wouldn’t let me use the DeLorean for fear I would get the passengers to their destinations before they even left their point of origin. Temporal paradoxes and all that. But I still have the spare flux-capacitor, so don’t tell them!”

Me: “Your secret is safe with us.”

Uber Driver: “So shall we time travel to stop the evil alien time-traveling terrorists from their fiendish scheme?”

Friend #1: “I see a problem with that plan.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Friend #1: “Good luck hitting 88 mph in downtown San Francisco…”

The Magic Words Magically Appearing

| Canada | Awesome Workers

(I’m the caller in this situation, having just been told by a collections agency that a mobile account from 2011 has an outstanding balance. After a day or two of getting bounced around I finally get this representative:)

Representative: “So what I’m seeing here is that you there was a system error that made us think you were still on contract when you cancelled the number, and we billed you a $300 dollar cancellation fee. This fee was invalid.”

Me: “Oh, so we’re clear?”

Representative: “Not quite, sir. In Canadian law, you have only 90 days to dispute charges or they will stick. I cannot change the account now. What do you think of that?”

Me: “Oh, so I’m stuck with the charges?”

Representative: “Let me restate, sir. I cannot change the account. What do you think of the situation?”

Me: *starting to catch on* “Well, it doesn’t seem all that fair to me, but the law is the law…”

Representative: “I sympathize, sir. And I cannot change the account. What might you ask?

Me: *eureka moment* “Well. I suppose I would need to talk to someone who could change the account.”

Representative: “For example, sir?”

Me: “Well, someone higher up, perhaps a supervisor of yours?”

Representative: “So you would like to escalate to a supervisor?”

Me: “Yes, I suppose I would.”

Representative: “Those are the magic words, sir. Just a moment.”

(Everything was taken care of within five minutes. Thank you for putting words in my mouth, representative bro.)

Page 1/3012345...Last