Category: Awesome Workers

A Very Scrambled Shortbus

| IL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the a**-hole in this story. After drinking far too much, a bunch of buddies and I go to this breakfast place. I don’t really want to go, but my buddies insist, so I am barely awake when the waitress comes up to us.)

Waitress: “All right, fellas, what can I get for you?”

(My friends order, then she gets to me.)

Waitress: “And for you?”

Me: “Hmm?”

Waitress: “Food? Mouth? Yours. You know. Restaurant stuff.”

Me: “Oh! Right, sorry. Eggs and bacon, please.”

Waitress: “How you want those eggs, hon?”

Me: “Orange juice.”

Waitress: “Oh… ‘shortbus.’ Your name’s ‘shortbus’ now. I’ll be back with your Orange Juice Eggs.”

Me: “Oh, god! No! Scrambled! I meant scrambled!”

Interruption Is Its Own Reward

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

(One of my biggest pet peeves is when customers are on their phones during checkout. So much so, sometimes I don’t even bother asking for their rewards cards.)

Customer: *on the phone and as the receipt is printing out* “What about my rewards card?”

Me: *being passive aggressive, but still being nice* “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Take A Coffee, And Make It Better

| OK, USA | Awesome Workers, Musical Mayhem

(I’m a cashier for a well known coffee chain, and whenever it’s slow I like to make everyone’s cups special. A man and a woman have just entered the nearly empty cafe.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. What can I get you?”

Man: *rattles off three drink orders and two names*

Me: “All right, and the name for that last latte?”

Man: “Oh, it’s for my mom. Her name is Jude.”

Me: *adds “hey” and some music notes around the name in reference to The Beatles song “Hey Jude”*

Man: “Oh, man, she’s going to love that!”

Me: “Oh, well in that case.”

Me: *picks up the cup for the woman, Sarah, and adds “smiles” and some more music notes as a reference to the Panic! At The Disco song “Sarah Smiles”*

Woman: “Oh, my gosh; I love that song!”

Me: “I really don’t want to leave you out, sir, but I can’t think of any songs with the name “Greg” in them, sooo…”

Me: *adds brackets around the name and even more notes*

Me: “There you go. You’re an instrumental track, like from a movie!”

Man: “A cool movie?”

Me: “The coolest.”

(They left me a $5 tip for a $7 order and took pictures of the cups. It’s my favorite customer story for this job yet.)

Taking Time To Appreciate Good Customers

| Tartu, Estonia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(A nice young woman my age comes into the fast food restaurant and orders a less commonly selected item. I have to go into the back of the store to get the ingredients because whatever coworker had made this item before hadn’t restocked the ingredients on the line.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait. I’ll try to make your item as fast as possible.”

Customer: “No worries; it’s actually for my boss.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Customer: “Actually, the longer you take to make her lunch the less time I have to spend working.”

Me: “That’s interesting, because you’re a nice customer and the longer I spend making your item the less time I have to deal with rude customers.”

(Long story short, an item that should have taken me about five minutes took about fifteen minutes.)

Border-ing On Love For Donut Holes

| Detroit, MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geography

(This is back when I am a student. I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My roommates and I frequently like to drive through Detroit to the nearest border crossing into Windsor, Ontario, Canada. It is less than an hour’s drive. A quite famous Canadian coffee-shop chain, known for its donuts and donut-hole-like small pastries, has not yet expanded its operations into the US.)

Roommate #1: “You know what I want? [Donut holes].”

Me: “Ooh, [Donut holes]! You know I’m always up for [Donut holes]!”

Roommate #2: “[Donut holes] do sound good. We could go; it’s not that far. Hey, [Roommate #3], you want to come with to get [Donut holes]?”

Roommate #3: “To get … [Donut holes]? You mean, like to Canada?”

(This brief attempt at being the voice of reason falls through, and all three roommates and I pile into my car for the drive, about 40 minutes at 1 am. We get to the guard booth.)

Border Guard: “National origin?”

Me: “We’re all Americans.”

Border Guard: “Where do you live?”

Me: “All of us live in Ann Arbor.”

Border Guard: “Destination?”

Me: “Windsor.”

Border Guard: “Length of visit?”

Me: “Um, I’m not sure. Half an hour, something like that? Less than an hour for sure.”

Border Guard: *raising his eyebrows* “Purpose of visit?”

Me: “We really need some [Donut holes]!”

(He laughs at that and waves us through. We obtain our lovely little balls of goodness and head back home, which of course entails another stop.)

Border Guard: “National origin?”

Me: “We’re all Americans.”

Border Guard: “Where have you been in Canada?”

Me: “Just into Windsor.”

Border Guard: “How long were you in Canada?”

Me: “About 45 minutes? Something like that.”

Border Guard: “Uh huh. And the purpose of your visit?”

Me: *with my very best deadpan wide-eyed serious look* “We really, really needed some [Donut holes]!”

(Behind and beside me, my roommates beamed and held up our boxes of [Donut holes], which are pretty distinctive. And then we have our pièce de résistance…)

Me: *holding up another box* “Look, we brought you guys a 20-pack!”

(This would never happen today, of course; too much trouble to do this on a whim, and the guards probably wouldn’t be allowed to accept it, either. I hope the world’s gotten safer, because it’s sure gotten less fun.)

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