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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Needs To Give That Caller A High-Five

    | Hampshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Time

    (It’s about 4:45 pm. We have a strict rule about not taking yourself off the phone until 5 pm exactly. People still do, but it’s a gamble. The earlier you take yourself off, the more likely you are to get in trouble, but the longer you stay logged on as your coworkers log off, the more likely you are to get a call. Sure enough, my phone rings, but most calls are only 10 minutes to resolve so I don’t mind.)

    Me: “[Company] customer services. [Name] speaking. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Hi there. I was hoping you could tell me [very basic bit of information that's on his documents].”

    Me: “Of course!”

    (I answer.)

    Customer: “Excellent. Now, am I correct in thinking your offices close at 5 pm?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. That’s correct.”

    Customer: “Ah, I see. Now, tell me, honestly. Are you one of these companies that hang up on customers as soon as the clock strikes 5, or do you stay logged in until the last second to take calls?”

    Me: “Honestly? We’re a company of over 600 employees. I can’t speak for each individual. I can assure you, though, that I have never met a manager in this place who would tolerate someone hanging up on a customer to go home on time, and it’s certainly not something I would do.”

    Customer: “That’s good, dear. So, I was wondering if you could tell me…”

    (The customer then basically strikes up a conversation with me. Every few minutes, he asks me what the time is. As soon as the clock hits 5 pm, he bids me farewell and hangs up. He had phoned a 25p per minute phone number so he could help a random stranger get home on time.)

    Mall Of The Living Dead

    | AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (Today the store I work in is staying open later than the mall it’s a part of. Its external entrances are open, but there is a large, heavy metal grate over the entrance that connects it to the mall. I see a young girl walk by the entrance with an older female relative, holding her hand.)

    Girl: “Oooh!” *moves towards the door*

    Older Relative: “No, sweetie. That door is closed. We can’t go into the mall right now.”

    Girl: “No, I was just thinking about it.”

    Older Relative: “Thinking what, sweetie?”

    Girl: “That it’d keep this place really good and protected if the zombies started attacking tonight!”

    A Very Close Knit Community

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Holidays

    (Occasionally customers bring in presents for the staff to show their appreciation. Normally it is cookies or flowers from their yards. Some of the newer staff are still getting used to this generosity. One afternoon in mid-November a woman brings in something different.)

    Customer: “Pick one.” *lifts a a large, clear garbage bag full of brightly colored knit scarves onto the counter*

    Me: “Oh, wow. What is the occasion?”

    Customer: “It’s the holidays! I made all of these and I want to share them!”

    Me: “Are you sure? That’s very thoughtful! You’re a much more prolific knitter than I am.” *carefully removes a scarf from the bag*

    Customer: *quickly moves to my coworker at an adjacent desk* “Here! Pick one! Merry Christmas!”

    Coworker: *looks up startled*

    (I shrug, smile, and go into the work room to tell the other staff what is going on.)

    Coworker: “Thank you. That’s very sweet.” *gingerly picks a scarf*

    (The customer manages to find every staff member in the building and give them a scarf. She leaves immediately afterward.)

    Coworker: “So, uh, do you guys all know her? Does she do this every year?”

    Me: “I have… never seen that woman before in my life.”

    How To Re-Tire Bad Customers

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s Black Friday and I have a noon shift. I have been berated and belittled by most of the customers since most of the doorbusters have been sold out.)

    Rude Customer: “WHY even advertise this if you don’t keep it in stock!? That’s stupid! If you run out you shouldn’t advertise it!”

    (There are two younger customers behind them, a guy and a girl.)

    Girl: “You know… sometimes I just wanna make people suffer ya know? Like mentally. Like I wanna slash the tires of some real ignorant a** so they can’t go on and abuse another cashier.”

    Guy: “I have that hunting knife in my car still. Wanna do it once we’re out of here?”

    Girl: “We could. I have one target it picked out.”

    (The rude customer shuts up and pays quietly and quickly runs out the door. I eye up the couple not sure if I should report the threat or not. The girl grins at me.)

    Girl: “Got her to shut up.”

    Me: “Wait. You weren’t serious?”

    Girl: “Please. I could never do that.”

    Guy: “I could…”

    Should Be Nice About The Niceties

    | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I work at an official store for a sports team. It’s been an unusually busy game, and we’re understaffed. I haven’t had more than a minute or two without a customer checking out in over three hours. I’ve made it a point to try to ask how everyone’s day is and been very pleasant. At the end of a transaction…)

    Me: “Ma’am, would you like a bag?”

    Customer #1: “No, but I would like a ‘how’s your day going’ or a ‘thank you!’”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Thank you and have a great rest of your day.”

    (Customer #1 leaves in a strop. Customer #2 approaches the register.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Hi! How is your day going?”

    Customer #2: “Great, since I’m not hot, tired, and a b****!”


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