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    Category: Awesome Customers

    He’s No Slim Jim

    | Louisiana, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I’m talking to a regular I’ve known since I was a kid—let’s just call him Jim—who is leaning against our drink counter and drinking a cappuccino. Note: “Jim” is 5’10 and a little over 200lbs, most of which is muscle from working on a logging crew. I notice there’s a smudge on my glasses so I take them off and begin wiping them on my shirt. Right at that moment, a customer walks in. I always greet my customers, so I squint at the person to make them out since I’m not wearing my glasses.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, you don’t have to give me such a dirty look!”

    Me: “What dirty look?”

    Customer: “When I walked in the door, you gave me a nasty look as if I was s*** on the bottom of your shoe!”

    Me: “No, I was squinting at you ’cause I couldn’t see.” *I point at my glasses* “I’m practically blind without these, and there was something on them. I was cleaning them when you walked in, so I had to squint to see you.”

    Customer: “Hmph! You’re just making excuses! You think you’re better than me, but you’re nothing but trash! Only trash works in places like this!”

    (At this point, Jim decides to speak up in my defense. Note that Jim has a VERY thick country-boy accent.)

    Jim: “You’d better apologize to her right now, mister.”

    Customer: “What?! What’d you say?”

    (Jim speaks slowly and clearly this time, so that his accent is less apparent.)

    Jim: “I said you’d better apologize to her right now.” *crosses his arms over his chest* “If you don’t, I’m gonna put my work boot up your a** and you’re gonna have to have it surgically removed!”

    Customer: *turns ash white* “I’m sorry, miss!” *leaves without buying anything*

    Alls Well That Bookends Well

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top

    (A sharply-dressed man comes to the counter with a woman of his age and a 5-year-old kid walking near them.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Man: “Yes, can you tell the price of those books, please?”

    (He hands me a list, and I use it to calculate the total price of the books in question.)

    Me: “Okay, the total comes to $242.14.”

    Man: “Alright. Do you take debit cards?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Man: “Ten years ago, when I was a teen, we stole those books in your shop with my wife here as a student prank. Now that we both have a good job, we want to show my kid that you must fix your errors in life.”

    (I stayed speechless for a good minute before taking his payment. If there’s a “Customer of the Month” award, this family takes the cake!)

    Serving Your Pie And Eating It Too

    | Ohio, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Three teenagers come into the restaurant where I work.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “Okay, so we’ll have three large fountain drinks, six orders of fries, three cookies, and one large pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    (They pay and sit down at a table together with their order. Much to my surprise, Teenage Girl #2 and Teenage Boy get out their own packed lunches and put them in the middle of table to share. They all eat, everyone having a bit of everything. As I sit down at a nearby table for my break, I overhear them talking.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Okay, so maybe ordering a large pizza WASN’T the greatest idea.”

    Teenage Boy: “It was the extra fries that did it for me.’

    Teenage Girl #1: “So what do we do with the extra pizza?

    Teenage Girl #2: “The box is too big for us to lug it around.”

    Teenage Boy: “Well, crap. We just wasted some money.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Wait, I have an idea!”

    (She gets up, takes the box, and walks over to me while her friends watch on in confusion.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Do you like pepperoni pizza?”

    Me: “Um, yeah?”

    (Without another word, she drops the box in front of me and walks away. She and her friends leave the restaurant before I get a chance to say thank you. For the record, the pizza was delicious!)

    We Love To See You Smile

    | North Carolina, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am having a terrible day at work, and haven’t smiled once. I have just finished ringing up an older couple’s order.)

    Me: “Have a good day.”

    Older Customer: “Do you have any paper?”

    (I give the customer some receipt paper. He gets a pen, quickly scribbles something on the paper, and hands it to me.)

    Older Customer: “Everyone deserves to smile.”

    (The customer then walked away. I looked at it and he had drawn me a flower. I still have it. :) )

    Some Sprinkles Come With Sergeants

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military, Top

    (At the restaurant where I work, my boyfriend is visiting me. He’s just gotten home from the army and is still in uniform. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: *points at sprinkles* “Excuse me, there is ice in my ice cream!”

    Me: “Sir, those are sprinkles. You asked for rainbow sprinkles.”

    Customer: “They are too cold to be sprinkles, so they must be ice!”

    Me: “The ice cream is what’s making them cold, sir.”

    Customer: “You’re a liar, you b****! Get me your f***ing manager!”

    (Unwilling to take the customer’s abusive behavior, my boyfriend speaks up.)

    My Boyfriend: “Those are f***ing sprinkles, you a**hole! If you don’t like it, then just go home and make your own ice cream!”

    Customer: *quickly exits the restaurant*

    Manager: *to my boyfriend* “You should stop by more often! I’ll even pay you to handle these customers!”

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