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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Don’t Always Have To Scream For Ice-Cream

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a busy night in the drive thru. I am trying desperately to catch up on the significant line, and the previous customer had asked for directions at the window after receiving her food. We sometimes miscalculate and get our dessert items ready too early, so the next customer’s ice cream is getting a little ‘melty.’ I know I should re-scoop it, but the line is so long and I hope she won’t mind.)

    Me: “Here’s your ice cream. [Price], please.”

    Customer: “I don’t mean to be a b****, as I know it’s not your fault they asked for directions, but could you re-scoop this for me?”

    Me: *ashamed* “Of course. I’m sorry.”

    (I get her a new one. She produces a $10 bill.)

    Customer: “Can you break this ten into two fives for me?”

    Me: “Here you are.”

    Customer:  *only takes one of the bills* “That one’s for you! Thanks for getting me a new ice cream!”

    Me: *astounded* “Thank you so much!”

    Just Made Her (Mother’s) Day

    | Milford, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am a hostess, and this story happens the Friday before Mother’s Day. I am standing at the register at the entrance to the restaurant when a gentleman in his early 40s who had been dining alone approaches me.)

    Customer: “Do I pay up here?”

    Me: “Oh! No, sir, you pay with your waitress. Let me grab her for you.”

    (I go to the back and bring the waitress up to the front with me.)

    Customer: *to waitress* “So, my bill was $18?”

    Waitress: “Yes. ”

    Customer: “Do you have a family?”

    Waitress: “Uh… yes.”

    Customer: “You have kids?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, then. This is for my check.” *hands coworker a $20 bill* “… and this is for you.” *hands coworker a $50 bill* “Happy Mother’s Day!”

    (At this point, the customer leaves before the waitress can even say ‘thank you.’)

    Waitress: *to me* “I think I’m gonna cry.”

    Russian Into Things

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

    (One evening a very obviously young teenager (15 or 16) comes in and tries to buy a pornographic magazine. After I inform him I can’t sell to him without seeing an ID he sticks around and starts chatting me up. I am a very tall woman in my mid-twenties while he was very short and petite.)

    Kid: “You know, the main reason I wanted to buy a magazine is because I’ve been deprived of the company of women for most of my life. You see…” *he leans up against the counter, looks around the room and says in a stage whisper* “…I was trained from birth in a Russian compound to be a deadly assassin.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Go on…”

    Kid: “I’m the best there is at the trade. I became the youngest secret KGB agent.”

    Me: “The KGB actually hasn’t existed for several years now.”

    Kid: *nodding gravely* “That’s because I took them all out when I went rogue. Since then I’ve been freelancing. But now that I have more money than I know what to do with, I’ve been thinking about getting out of the game. You know, finding a beautiful woman and settling down in my French chateau. What do you say? Want me to take you away from all this?”

    Me: *having serious trouble keeping a straight face* “That’s very sweet. But aren’t I a little too old for you? Not to mention I’m nearly two feet taller.”

    Kid: “That’s okay. That’s the way we like ‘em in Russia!”

    Me: “Kid, you are one cocky little s***. If you weren’t underage I’d buy you a drink.”

    Kid: “Well, if you come with me we can go to a country where the legal drinking age is much lower. You know, in Russia I’ve already reached the age of consent. If you get my drift…”

    Me: “Thanks, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.”

    Kid: *sigh* “Oh well it, was worth a try. Do svidaniya!”

    Sharing A Story About Not Sharing

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A coworker is offering macaroons at work. He had never had them before but had bought a whole lot of them, and we get to hear the story of why he had bought them.)

    Coworker: “There’s a cake shop near my house. I go there all the time, and there’s a regular customer I see there who is really mean. That day she said she was going to buy some macaroons and not share any with her grandkids. I was ahead of her in line, so when it was my turn, I said ‘I’d like to buy all your macaroons!.’”

    Last Name Last Thought

    | Franklin, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (I’ve worked retail for years, but this is my turn at being the clueless customer. This store can look up your membership card with your name and phone number. I am currently wearing my name tag, which has only my first name on it.)

    Associate: “Oh, you work at [Other Store]. You must know [Coworker], who used to work here!”

    Me: “Oh, yeah, [Coworker]‘s great! Oh, I have a membership card, but I don’t have it on me.”

    Associate: “What’s your last name?”

    Me: “I’m not sure… [My Name], I think.”

    Associate: “…”

    Me: “Oh, my God, I’m sorry! I thought you were asking for [Coworker]‘s last name! Sorry! Do I win the award today?”

    Associate: “Not even the strangest thing that’s happened today.”

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