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  • Category: Awesome Customers

    Lightening In A Bottle

    | Maryland, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (The wine store I work at has a fully functional bar. On this particular night, the store is very busy as we are having a wine tasting that is open to the public. This day also happens to be the one before my birthday. I am mixing a drink for a well-to-do regular customer).

    Customer: “So, how have you been lately?”

    Me: “Pretty good.”

    Customer: “What time will you be in tomorrow?”

    Me: “I actually have the day off. It is my birthday.”

    Customer: “Oh, is it? Did [owner] get you anything nice?”

    Me: “I doubt it.”

    Customer: “Well, that is too bad. Hey, could you help me find a good Portuguese wine?”

    (For the next ten minutes, I show him red blends, Riojas, and other wonderful Portuguese wines.)

    Customer: “If you could get any of these, which would you get?”

    Me: “Well, that depends. Most of these are out of my price range, but this $10.99 bottle would be great.”

    Customer: “But I want the best one that is over here, regardless of price.”

    (I show him a really good one that is $60 a bottle.)

    Customer: “I want this one. Can I buy it, set it on the counter, and enjoy some more drinks at the bar?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    (The customer stays for a few more hours talking to me about the college I had went to, and jobs I am interested in. About an hour before closing, he says it is time to go, and heads to the counter where his purchases are still sitting. I proceed to clean up the bar as he approaches me.)

    Customer: “I thought it a shame that a person as friendly and knowledgable as you didn’t get a birthday gift after working here for years. This is yours.”

    (He hands me a wrapped bag, and when I unwrap it, it is the expensive wine I had recommended. As I look up to thank him, he is already out the door, but he gives me a wave and a large smile. It is people like that who make working a minimum wage job worth it!)

    Get Your Own Employee

    | California, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a really busy weekend at the grocery store. I am trying to restock some product, but I am being asked for help left and right by customers.)

    Customer #1: “Hi! Can you help me find the salad dressing?”

    Me: “Of course! If you’ll just follow me, I can show you exactly where they are.”

    Customer #1: “Which one do you like best?”

    Me: “Personally—”

    (Suddenly another customer interrupts us.)

    Customer #2: “Show me where the olives are!”

    Me: “Miss, they’re two sections over on the very bottom shelf.” *to the first customer* “I really prefer the red wine—”

    Customer #2: “I can’t believe you won’t show me where they are. Are you really that lazy that you can’t take the time to help me?”

    Customer #1: “Back the f*** off, lady! She’s working her a** off! You’re the one being a lazy b****!”

    (The second customer grabs her olives and storms off.)

    Me: *to Customer #1* “You’re my favorite customer!”

    Mother Mellows Best

    | British Columbia, Canada | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

    (My coworker and I are the only ones on duty at a gas station. We work at a full service gas station, and as it’s July, we’re very busy. I’m outside filling vehicles, while my coworker is inside ringing customers up. Note that I’m kind of timid, while my coworker is kind of hot headed, and we’re both female. A man in his late forties pulls up in his big pickup truck.)

    Me: “Sir? Can I get you to pull ahead a bit and park a little closer to the pump? There are some customers who can’t reach the pump behind you, and you’re too close to the store. They can’t go around you.”

    (The customer doesn’t even look at me and stalks off towards the store.)

    Male Customer: “Fill it. Make d*** sure that you wash the windshield, too!”

    (I begin to do my job. A line is forming behind the truck, and customers are asking me what’s the hold up. I have to explain to them about the customer, and I apologize profusely. Finally, the truck is filled, and I go in to tell my coworker the price.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    (The man has been standing in line for some time, refusing to let others in front of him while he waits for the price. The store is packed and hot, and the other customers look uncomfortable.)

    Male Customer: “I’d like to pay with my [chain] points card, but I don’t know how many points are on it. Check it.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we have no way of telling you how many points are on your card. The best I can do for you is to run the card and if it comes up short, charge you that extra.”

    Male Customer: “What?! I make sure I stop at every [chain] station that I can to collect these d*** points! I will not pay for the gas with my own money! Just run the card through one of your machines and tell me how many d*** points I have!”

    Coworker: “Sir, like I told you before, we don’t have any machines that can check your points. If you want to use your card, you can, but if it comes up short I’ll have to charge you the extra.”

    (This goes on for a little while, and my coworker begins to get irate, though she keeps her cool. More customers come in and I try and help others at the second till, but then the man starts yelling at me. I ignore him and try to swipe a customer’s credit card, but the man grabs the card reader from my hand and jams his points card in. The look of shock and hurt on my face must have been apparent, because another customer, a woman maybe a bit older than the man, steps in.)

    Female Customer: *to the male customer* “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? You’ve got a room full of people AND a bunch of cars outside waiting for you to get your a** out of the way and get out of here! You’ve been rude to these girls who have been nothing but polite to you, and now you’re starting to piss me off! And I’m sure I’m not the only one!”

    (The other customers nod and murmur their agreement.)

    Male Customer: “B****, I didn’t ask for your thoughts. Get back to your kitchen and your whining grandchildren!”

    Female Customer: “Is that how you would speak to your mother? Really, didn’t your mother teach you better?”

    (Suddenly, the troublesome customer doesn’t seem to be so angry. He actually looks a little bit scared at the mention of his mother. He begins stuttering and cussing her out, but the fire in him is gone. The lady fixes him the coldest stare I’ve ever seen, and then the customer flings two fifties at my coworker and begins elbowing his way through the sea of people and out of the store. The customers begin applauding and insist the heroine go to the front of the line. She’s only getting two Vitamin Waters and a bag of chips, and since the troublesome customer has given us much more than he needed, my coworker and I pay for her with the change.)

    At Least His Daughter Is On The Right Track

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a 17-year-old girl. I work as a hostess to pay for my gas money at a local restaurant that specializes in seafood. A family of three walks in: a mom, dad, and their daughter. They’re all well-dressed and the daughter is texting away on an iPhone.)

    Wife: “We have a reservation.”

    Me: “Name?”

    Wife: *gives their last name*

    Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Table for three. If you would please follow me…”

    (I lead them to a table by the window.)

    Wife: “Thank you.”

    Husband: “Don’t thank her! This is unacceptable!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

    Husband: “OF COURSE there’s a problem! I want to be seated outside!”

    Me: “My apologies, sir, but all of the tables outside are taken. Your reservation has no specified preference, so according to restaurant policy, I took you to the first available table. Would you like to wait until a table on the patio is open?”

    Husband: “No! I want to be seated right now!”

    Wife: *to her husband* “Calm down, please.”

    Husband: “Your service is horrible!”

    Me: “I can get the manager for you, if you would like.”

    Husband: “Do it, now!”

    (The entire time, the daughter is still texting away. I fetch my manager and he sends me back to work. Two hours later, the family walks out. The daughter slips me something and leaves without a word. It’s a note and three folded twenty dollar bills.)

    Daughter’s Note: “Sorry that my dad is such an a**. I hope this makes up for it, and congratulations on the track meet last Thursday. We stayed inside, just so you know!”

    (Upon closer inspection, it turns out that she runs for one of our rival schools. I knew she looked familiar!)

    A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2

    | Turin, Italy | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a customer at a local restaurant. It’s 7:30 pm, so most of the customers haven’t arrived yet and the place is pretty quiet. All of a sudden, a middle-aged customer starts shouting randomly and making obscene gestures to people. A waitress tries to calm him down, but he just doesn’t listen. This goes on for a while, until the same waitress approaches an elderly couple with their dinner.)

    Elderly Wife: “Thank you, dear. Is there any way to make that horrible man stop yelling?”

    Waitress: “I am sorry, ma’am. He keeps ignoring us.”

    Elderly Husband: “He’s just a little kid hoping for attention. Kick him out.”

    Waitress: “I am terribly sorry, but it is our policy not to kick customers unless they are posing a threat to someone. We can not even touch him.”

    Elderly Husband: “Well, that doesn’t apply to me, does it?”

    (With that, the elderly husband stands up, reaches the middle-aged customer and grabs him by an ear. He then drags him on the floor and out of the restaurant, eventually kicking him in the butt. When he comes back to his table, he hands the waitress 40 euros.)

    Elderly Husband: “For the glass he broke on his way out. Bad kids always need a good kick in the butt!”

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    A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’

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