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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet, Part 2

    | Australia | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (Our shop sells a variety of desserts. The lady who owns the shop loves small kids, and insists that we add small extras for them. She often doesn’t even charge polite children. It’s a busy day when a woman and her young son approach the counter. The son can’t be older than 4. He looks terribly excited and is clutching a coin as though his life depends on it.)

    Young Son: “Could I please have a…single chocolate ice cream?”

    Mother: “You shouldn’t say ‘please’ to her. Only to people you know.”

    Young Son: *sadly* “Oh…I’m sorry, Missus Ice Cream Lady. Am I still allowed a single chocolate ice cream?”

    Mother: “No, don’t apologise, either! Just say what you want and don’t talk to her. You’ll waste good manners otherwise.”

    Young Son: “Oh, okay…I would please like a single chocolate ice cream and nothing else.”

    Mother: “No, you said please again! Look, it’s not that hard! Your manners are terrible!”

    (As this goes on, I start making the ice cream. The boy’s eyes slowly move from his mother’s weird demands to the ice cream as I make it bigger and bigger, adding extra cream, berries, sprinkles, and anything I can think of. His face goes from confusion to a grin to a dropped jaw of awe. The final product is almost as big as his head.)

    Me: “Here you go, young man! You’re the politest customer I’ve had today, and polite customers always get rewarded! If there were more customers like you, wouldn’t the world be a nicer place?”

    Mother: “Ugh! He’s not supposed to be polite to people on minimum wage!”

    Me: *ignores her* “Thank you, young man, for battling the forces of rudeness and for making the world a better place!”

    (I refuse payment, because apparently the coin the boy is the boy’s ‘life savings’. The mother storms off berating him, although her son is oblivious due to his enormous ice cream. The next day, him and all his friends come for ice cream. All are super polite, so they all got extra large ones at half price.)

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    Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet

    Keep Your Paws Off Our Pups

    | Scotland, UK | Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

    (I’m a volunteer at an animal shelter. People can pay a small donation to come and see our animals. One day I’m returning a dog to its kennel when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! I want to see your manager!”

    Me: “Um, I’m just volunteer here, sir. If you speak to somebody in reception—”

    Customer: “Rubbish! You’re just making excuses! I paid my donation to see your dogs and I can only get into one block. The other three are closed! I know you have more dogs!”

    Me: “We close three blocks for the dogs’ welfare, sir. If you’re interested in—”

    Customer: “I don’t give a f*** about the dogs’ welfare! I want to see more dogs! You have no customer service at all, do you?!”

    (On hearing this, another customer approaches and gives the very rude customer a £5 note.)

    Another Customer: “Here’s £5; consider it a refund. Because I can tell you, sir, they would absolutely NOT allow you anywhere near their animals with that attitude!”

    Never Say No To La Novia

    | Roselle, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am watching my girlfriend’s two-year-old sister near the counter while she does her shopping. Her sister is learning to talk in Spanish, so I’m quizzing her with colors. While we’re playing, a seven-year-old girl approaches us and asks to play because she takes Spanish at school. Everything is fine until the girl’s mother comes.)

    Mother: “Leona, what are you doing? You know not to bother people.”

    Me: “Oh, she’s not, ma’am. She just asked to play with me and my girlfriend’s sister.”

    Mother: “Girlfriend?” *thinks for a few moments* “Oh, a close friend! Sorry, I was thinking you meant a girl you were dating.”

    Me: “I did. I am dating a girl. This little girl is her sister and your daughter was just playing with us. She wasn’t bothering us.”

    Mother: “What?! Leona, you were playing with a homo?!? Come over here, right now!”

    (In tears, the girl slowly approaches her mother, who yells at her about how she knows better than to interact with “h***-bound sinners” like me. She then chides me for “sinning” around such a small child, referring to my girlfriend’s sister. While I’m speechless, a man comes up, who I assume is the girl’s father.)

    Father: *to the mother* “I got the rest of the stuff. What are you yelling about?”

    Mother: *to her daughter* “Tell Daddy what you did!”

    (In hysterics, the girl tells her father what happened, ending her telling by clinging to his leg and apologizing over and over. I’m feeling dreadful and very guilty and am near tears myself. But to my surprise, this happens.)

    Father: *to the mother* “Are you serious?! What is wrong with you?! I don’t even know why I came out with you! Just go wait in the car! Sheesh!”

    (The mother, now apparently embarrassed, exits the store. The father calms his daughter down and apologizes to her and me before leaving. Right after they leave, my girlfriend comes up, having seen the whole thing.)

    My Girlfriend: “I actually know that family. The father moved in next door to me two weeks ago. That girl’s parents are divorced and her parents have joint custody of her, but today is her birthday and she wanted to be with both of them together. They said yes to make her happy, but I don’t think that’ll happen again.”

    (A few weeks later, my girlfriend tells me the father got full custody of his daughter. Now, she and my girlfriend’s sister play together on a daily basis, and I occasionally help her with her Spanish homework.)

    This Apple Falls Far From The IP

    | Manchester, UK | Awesome Customers, Technology, Top

    (I have been trying to help a caller connect her new router up to accept all the wireless devices in her house, as she’s recently changed her internet supplier to us. It’s been almost 40 minutes and not going well, until this happens.)

    Caller: “Well, you’re obviously not getting this! I’ll let my son explain because he’s been working on this for hours.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, no problem.”

    (The caller’s son gets on the phone.)

    Caller’s Son: “Right…what’s happening is that my DS isn’t connecting due to our wireless having too high security, so I’ve been trying to drop it from whatever WPA it’s on down to WEP. However, to do this I need to log into the router settings using my IP address. I used the static IP address, but to actually log in I need a username and password. I checked on the internet and it says to use admin and password, but whenever I tried it just cleared both fields.”

    Me: *slightly stunned* “Uh, well, what you could try is the router password that’s specific to you. It should be on the help sheet that came with the router itself.”

    (Around twenty seconds later…)

    Caller’s Son: “Ah, thanks very much. Cheers!

    Me: “No problem. If you have any other queries, feel free to call us again.”

    Caller’s Son: *hangs up*

    Me: *to coworker* “I f***ing love tech savvy kids.”

    Respect Your Zombie Elders

    | Delaware, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer at a very popular superstore in my town. I have my five-year-old daughter in line with me. An elderly customer is in front of me talking to the cashier.)

    Cashier: “Hello, how can I help—”

    Customer: “How dare you.”

    Cashier: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “How dare you wear that keychain!”

    Cashier: “I don’t understand.”

    Customer: “That!”

    (The customer points at the cashier’s keychain, which has a zombie on it.)

    Customer: “How could you support that man in Florida? He ate another man’s face while he was naked! How dare you!”

    (The cashier is completely stunned, but my daughter suddenly steps up to the aggravated woman.)

    My Daughter: “Lady, that man wasn’t a zombie. He was just crazy. Zombie’s aren’t real! You should know that. You’re about a hundred!”

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