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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Don’t Get Short With This Customer

    | New York, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Love/Romance, Technology, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a cashier at a small phone shop in a large mall. At one point, a very tall, very very large man with a scowl on his face steps into line. I can tell that the longer he waits, the shorter his temper gets, so by the time he gets up to the counter about ten minutes later, he’s practically livid.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Y’all sold me a broken device. How could you sell me broken s***?! Don’t you have any kind of quality control?”

    Me: “Um, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It don’t work! The f*** you think is the problem?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir, but—”

    Customer: “I’ve already been waiting here for thirty minutes! Fix it already!”

    (Upon cursory examination of his device, it becomes apparent to me that it has suffered extensive water damage.)

    Me: “Has this device been in contact with water recently?”

    Customer: “No, of course not. I’m not stupid.”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m afraid that given the nature of the damage to this device, we cannot repair it and it is no longer under warranty.”

    Customer: “Now hold up just a minute, you little b****. I will not have you blaming me for your problems. How dare you?!”

    (Suddenly, he SLAPS me across the face. Caught completely off guard, I take a step back and shut my eyes. But when I look back up, the man is nowhere to be seen. I notice that everyone is looking down at the floor, so I peer over the counter to see him attempting to crawl away, unable to stand up, and clutching a bleeding ear. The next customer in line is an unassuming, bespectacled man that stands no taller than 5’5″.)

    Next Customer: “Hey, are you okay?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah, I’m fine… what just happened?”

    Next Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t just gonna let him do that to you, so I slapped him back.” *his face breaks into a grin*

    Me: “Wait, you… what did you do?”

    (As it turned out, the guy with glasses was trained extensively in multiple forms or martial arts, and had leapt up and performed a cup-handed ear slap on the customer that had assaulted me. My manager has seen what has just happened and walks over.)

    Manager: *to the next customer* “Wow. That was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Thanks for that. You’re welcome to shop here anytime.”

    (Incidentally, I have been dating this short bada** for almost a year now!)

    The Prettiest Customer

    | Avondale, AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m having a bad day as I’ve heard some unfortunate news from a coworker, so my face is a bit somber. A little girl walks up with her parents to my register; her head barely peeks above the counter. I love kids and normally interact with them when I am ringing up the items.)

    Little Girl: *softly* “You’re pretty.”

    (Unfortunately, I can’t hear her because of the beeping from the register.)

    Me: “What was that, sweetie?”

    Little Girl: *louder* “You’re pretty.”

    Me: “Aww, thank you, sweetie.”

    Little Girl: “I hope I am pretty like you when I grow up!”

    (My heart has melted by now.)

    Me: “You are already the prettiest little girl ever! I know you will keep getting prettier as you get older!”

    (I finish the transaction with her parents. As they are slowly walking away, I hear her dad.)

    Dad: “That was very nice, honey. What made you say that?”

    Little Girl: “Because it is true, and she wasn’t smiling when we walked in. And I wanted to get her to smile!”

    (She was right. I was smiling for the rest of my shift!)

    Sticking To One’s Guns

    | Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

    (A squadmate and I from my unit are out at the range, practicing with a pair of higher-priced military style AR rifles. Both of us are wearing civilian clothes and military issue armor and ammo carriers, for practice. A guy in the next lane over has a similarly expensive gun, and the far lane is occupied by an obvious civilian with a much cheaper, wooden rifle.)

    Next Lane: “Look at that s***! Only f****ts use Mosins. It’s a gay rifle!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s not true…” *I look at my buddy* “Do you have a Mosin, darling?”

    My Buddy: *doesn’t miss a beat* “Of course not, baby.”

    (He stops reloading the mag he has and stands very close to me with one arm around my shoulders.)

    Next Lane: *packs up and leaves immediately*

    (I am not gay, but my squad mate is!)

    You Just Got Served

    | Silkeborg, Denmark | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I used to work at a gas station, and regularly had to train new people. This happens on the first morning shift of my coworker. And elderly man comes in to buy some pastries. There are two other customers in the shop.)

    Coworker: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “I would like three of those.” *points at a pastry of which we only have two left*

    Coworker: “I am sorry, but I only have two left of those. Would you like another pastry instead to get the discount?”

    Customer #1: “There you go, talking! Just shut up and do your job!”

    Coworker: “I am sorry sir, but if you would just—”

    Customer #1: “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Do your job, b****!”

    (My coworker is now almost in tears, and I, having heard it all, step in.)

    Me: “Sir, you have to be polite! It is her first shift, and there is absolutely no need to be rude. We only have the cakes on display, and since there are just two of the pastries you want—”

    Customer #1: “Another one! Just shut up already! I am in a hurry!”

    (At that moment, the two customers who have been patiently waiting decide they have had enough and speak up.)

    Customer #2: “We don’t want people like you here. If you can’t be nice, get out!”

    Customer #3: “Yeah, just get out!”

    Customer #1: “What poor service!” *hurriedly leaves the shop with his pastries*

    This We’ll Defend

    | NC, USA | Awesome Customers, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: I’m a female and I’m waiting for my girlfriend to get off work, and the person who was supposed to relieve her is running late, so I’m hanging around. My girlfriend is hair under five feet tall, and maybe 90 pounds. She’s really little and people try and intimidate her a lot because of this.)

    My Girlfriend: “I’m sorry. It should be like half an hour.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (A customer shoulders past me and shoves an item in my girlfriend’s face.)

    Male Customer: “This place f***ing ripped me off!”

    My Girlfriend: “What’s the problem, sir?”

    Male Customer: “Don’t play with me, you stupid b****! I bought this and it won’t work!”

    My Girlfriend: “Sir, may I see the item?”

    Male Customer: *shoves it at her*

    My Girlfriend: “Sir, this didn’t come from our store.”

    Male Customer: “You callin’ me a liar, you stupid b****?!”

    My Girlfriend: “Of course not, but this package has a label that clearly has the name of our competitor on it.”

    Male Customer: “So, I bought it here!”

    My Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but no, you didn’t.”

    (At this point, another customer, who is a fairly petite woman, is standing behind him. She looks a little concerned. Without warning, the male customer takes a swing at my girlfriend.)

    Male Customer: “You stupid c***! Do your d*** job and give me a f***ing refund!”

    (Thankfully my girlfriend steps out of reach of the customer’s swing. However, the petite woman behind him suddenly surges forward, and in one swift movement twists his arm behind his back and slams his face down on the counter.)

    Petite Woman: *to my girlfriend* “Honey, you may want to call 911.”

    My Girlfriend: *stunned* “O-Okay…”

    Me: *to the male customer* “Jesus Christ, what the h*** is the matter with you, you freaking pyscho?!”

    Male Customer: “Get the f*** off me!”

    (In response, the petite woman wrenches his arm behind him further. The male customer wails.)

    Male Customer: “You can’t do that! You’re just a woman!”

    Petite Woman: “Army Strong, a**hole. If you want to walk away with your arm not broken, I’d stop struggling.”

    (The male customer stops struggling when he realizes that she isn’t going to let go anytime soon. The police show up in less than five minutes. They get everyone’s statements and view the security video. The manager finally meanders out; he’s a man who is useless in every sense of the word. He also doesn’t like my girlfriend because she’s dating me, a girl.)

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: “What is all this about?

    Police Officer: “Sir, this man just attempted to attack your employee.”

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: “Oh.”

    Petite Woman:That’s all you have to say?” *to my girlfriend* “Honey, you want to press charges?”

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: “Oh, that won’t be necessary.”

    (The petite woman whirls on my girlfriend’s manager, and he actually takes a step backwards.)

    Petite Woman: “I wasn’t talking to you. Believe me when I tell you, your boss will be hearing about what little concern you have for your employees!”

    My Girlfriend’s Manager: *slinks off*

    (Meanwhile, the police finish arresting the man and explain to my girlfriend how she can press charges.)

    Me: *to the petite woman* “Excuse me, Miss?”

    Petite Woman: “Yes?”

    Me: “Thank you. You defended my girlfriend. So many people wouldn’t have done anything. Would it be alright if I could have your name?”

    Petite Woman: *smiles* “You’re welcome. You guys look cute together. And my name is Angel.”

    (With that, she leaves without buying anything. Three days later, my girlfriend’s unhelpful manager was fired. An Angel indeed!)

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