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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Heroic Mums Prefer To Keep Mum

    | Australia | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m a customer at a local butcher with my mum. An older customer, maybe in his 60s, is giving the employee behind the counter a hard time. He’s patronising her and being all-around unhelpful. It’s obvious the employee is new and, by the way she is talking, appears to have a disability.)

    Customer: *jabs a finger at the meat* “No! Not that piece! THAT one!”

    (This has been going on for several minutes, and the employee is nearly in tears.)

    Customer: *sarcastically* “I’m only trying to help you, love!”

    (My mum, who is usually very easy-going, suddenly confronts the customer.)

    My Mum: “No, you’re not! You’re being very rude!”

    Customer: “Look, I just want my meat! Is that so hard?”

    My Mum: “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it! This poor girl is trying her best!”

    Customer: “You can’t talk to me like that! I use to be an officer of the law!”

    My Mum: “That’s worse! You should be ashamed of yourself, a man your age behaving like this!”

    Customer: “Why don’t you step outside! I’ll have you arrested!”

    My Mum: “I’d like to see you try!”

    (Seeing that my mum isn’t going to be intimidated or back down, the customer leaves, looking very subdued. My mum quickly orders her meat and leaves before the employee, who is now truly in tears, can thank her properly.)

    Me: *as we’re leaving* “Mum, she wanted to thank you.”

    My Mum: “Being in one scene was embarrassing enough. I don’t need to be in two, thank-you-very-much!”

    Mother’s Little Yeller

    | Massachusetts, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    Me: “A few quick rules before we begin our tour: we don’t allow photography inside the museum and, as everything inside is antique, please try not to touch anything.”

    (At this point, I like to make a side note to any kids in the group to make them feel important. I turn to one of the visitor’s daughters at the front, who is about six years old.)

    Me: “Now, everyone always assumes that I’m talking to you when I go over these rules, but really, I know that you know how to behave. The grownups, on the other hand, think they can do anything because they’re grownups. So you keep an eye on your parents for me, okay?”

    (The visitor’s daughter grins and nods. Sure enough, a few minutes later…)

    Me: “The bed curtains on the bed in here were handmade by a local woman out of homespun linen. She did all the work herself and it took her nearly ten years to—”

    Visitor: “Wow, this is amazing!”

    (The visitor grabs the 250-year-old fabric and starts rubbing it between her fingers.)

    Visitor’s Daughter: *immediately smacks the visitor’s hand away* “Mummy you stop that! You heard what the nice lady said! Grownups have to follow the rules, too!”

    Visitor: *hangs head in shame*

    Other Visitor: “Oh my God, it worked!”

    (The visitor’s daughter gave me a high five on the way out!)

    He’s No Slim Jim, Part 2

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry

    (I’m the girl whose friend is not a Slim Jim. It’s been a busy evening, so when I finally get a free minute, I grab a cleaning rag and go to wipe down the counter near the soda fountains. As I’m walking from behind the counter, a customer walks in, followed closely by Jim.)

    Me: *turning to go back behind the counter* “Good evening! How—”

    Customer: “Yeah, you just thought you were getting a break, b****!”

    (At this point, Jim scowls but doesn’t say anything. After the man makes his purchase, Jim taps him on his shoulder. The guy turns and shrinks back when he sees that Jim is scowling with his arms crossed over his chest. The guy’s head is about level with Jim’s nose and he’s only half as broad.)

    Jim: “What did you just call this young lady?”

    Customer: “I… uh… I said that she… uh… is a very nice young lady. Beautiful, too.”

    Jim: “That’s what I thought.”

    Customer: *slinks around Jim and darts out the door* “Have a good night, gorgeous!”

    Related:
    He’s No Slim Jim

    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mother Scorned

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (We’re not too busy at the grocery store this night, but we still have a decent amount of customers. I have just finished a transaction for Customer #1, a lady no more then 5 feet tall who is carrying a small infant, when I notice that she has left her baby’s bottle on the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, Miss! Your baby bottle!”

    (My coworker, a young man, picks up the bottle and politely walks the few feet to give it to the woman.)

    Customer #1: “Thank you both so much!” *takes the bottle*

    (Out of nowhere, Customer #2, a man about 6 feet tall, starts screaming.)

    Customer #2: “Why the f*** are you catering to her! You’re a man! She is just a fat lazy b****!”

    (My coworker, a few other customers, and I stand in shock. Customer #1, however, calmly puts her grocery bag on the floor, places her infant in my coworker’s arms, and walks right up to Customer #2. With amazing speed, her hand shoots out and grabs his collar bone, and he drops to the floor in obvious pain.)

    Customer #1: “You wanna go?! Come on! This fat, lazy b**** will kick your a** all over this d*** store!”

    Customer #2: *meekly raises his arms in surrender*

    Customer #1: “Smart decision!” *picks up her grocery bag, takes back her baby, and merrily goes on her way*

    Related:
    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

    Grandma Won’t Be Outmatched

    | Illinois, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I’m a customer and am standing in line at the checkout behind a very sweet-looking little old lady. She’s a stereotypical, blue-haired, tiny woman dressed in a very nice yellow and pink pantsuit. The cashier is a nice-looking young man in his late teens or early twenties.)

    Little Old Lady: *to the cashier* “You know, you’re a very handsome young man, and you can hold down a job. That’s a good thing.”

    Cashier: “Thank you, ma’am.”

    (The lady then proceeds to chat in a very friendly manner to the cashier. While talking, she’s very slowly and carefully placing one item at a time on the conveyor.)

    Little Old Lady: “So, I think my granddaughter would be perfect for you. She’s just turned nineteen, she has a nice job of her own, and she’s pretty. You boys like redheads, right?”

    Cashier: *dazed look*

    Little Old Lady: “You really should meet her. I just know you two would be perfect for each other! I know these things!”

    Cashier: “Um, ma’am—”

    Little Old Lady: “So, what do you say? Would you like to meet my Linda?”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I’m gay.”

    (At this, the sweet-faced little old lady just blinks and smiles.)

    Little Old Lady: “Okay, so you need to meet my grandson instead!”

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