July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Awesome Customers

Bags Of Laughs

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(It’s been a long night, with a higher than average number of annoying customers. A couple comes through the till.)

Wife: “Oh, no. Don’t put the chips with the pop! It’ll get crushed.”

Husband: “Geez, don’t put the chips with the bread.”

Wife: “Oh, and keep the pickles away from the cans.”

Husband: “Can you double bag everything?”

(I finally sort through their numerous demands, they pay and leave. The next customer and last in line is buying just a few things, and has listened to the previous conversation.)

Customer: “Oh… can you put the bacon in a separate bag from the chips and pop?”

(I do.)

Customer: “Oh, and can you separate the chips and pop?”

(I do.)

Customer: “Can you double bag everything? It’s all pretty heavy, you know.”

(I stare, not sure if he’s serious.)

Customer: “And, can you put the receipt in a separate bag?”

(I smile at this point, and he laughs; it’s clear he was just joking. Everything goes in one bag. From this point on, ‘put the receipt in a separate bag’ becomes a euphemism for anyone making a series of ridiculous requests.)

How Quickly People Change

, | Hilo, HI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working the cash register at a popular Tex-Mex chain. I am serving a customer who has been kind of rude, and seems like he is in a huge hurry. I have tried to be as pleasant and quick as possible.)

Me: “So, your total is $34.”

Customer: “Can you guys take tips?”

Me: “No, I wish.”

Customer: “Okay. Here. I’ll give you this $50, and just… um… forget my change.”

(He did. He walks out leaving me the remainder, about $16!)

Conan The Contrarian

| Huntsville, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule

Customer: “Today is my anniversary! Love is the best thing in life.”

Me: “Actually…” *in Conan voice* “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women…” *back in regular voice* “…is the best thing in life.”

Customer: “Ha! You made my day!”

(She paid for a $6 meal with a $20 bill and told me to keep the change!)

The Working Dead

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Zombies

(I am a cashier at a major supermarket. Two young men in their mid-twenties are nearby, arguing with each other about something.)

Guy #1: “Well, let’s just ask her.”

Guy #2: “No, we don’t need to ask anyone else!”

Guy #1: *to me* “Hi, can I just ask you a question?”

Guy #2: “No! Don’t ask her!”

Me: “Um… sure?”

Guy #1: “Okay, say there was a zombie apocalypse, where would you hide out? Here, or [Australia’s largest household hardware chain]?”

Me: “Um, probably here?”

Guy #1: “See? I told you!”

Guy #2: “But why? The [household hardware chain] has weapons and stuff, how are you going to fight the zombies without weapons?”

Me: “Well, our supermarket has food, you can’t survive without food. And it has weapons too! We have knives and garden tools.”

Guy #1: “Exactly!”

Guy #2: “But [hardware store] has food too! They have a canteen!”

Me: “But we have a better selection, and food can also be used as a weapon! Food fight!”

Guy #2: “I give up.”

Guy #1: “I like this girl. She’s smart! Come on, let’s ask somebody else.” *happily approaches next cashier*

Guy #2: *upset* “No! I give up! Please stop asking!”

Hot Food Can Leave You Feeling Warm & Fuzzy

, | New Mexico, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working the closing shift at a popular fast food place. It is a few minutes to closing, and I am in a hurry to get everything cleaned so I could go home when a police officer walks in.)

Officer: *pulls out a note* “Um, you guys have baked potatoes, right?”

Me: “Yes sir, sour cream and chive, bacon and cheese, and chili and cheese.”

Officer: “The bacon and cheese, and a cheddar burger?”

Me: “No problem. Was there anything else for you tonight?”

Officer: “No, I think that’s it. It’s for a girl we just rescued. She got caught up in human trafficking and we wanted to get her something warm to eat.”

(Shocked, I finished ringing up his order. I immediately tracked down my manager and convinced him to ring it up as a manager meal, which is free. I also wrote a note that said good luck. The officer thanked me and left. A week later, I saw on the news that she made it home safe.)

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