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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Whine Isn’t Gonna Get You Your Wine

    | Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I look young for my age and see no point in getting aggressive when asked for ID. However, the picture is old and has been refused before, so I try to get by without it. Alcohol is generally cheaper in Northern Ireland and I’m originally from a border town. This happens on a trip “up North” with friends from “the South”, AKA the Republic of Ireland.)

    Cashier: *before scanning a bottle of wine in my basket* “Have you any ID?”

    Me: “It’s out in the car somewhere, but I am 23.”

    My Friend: “I can vouch for her. She is of age.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, but I can’t let her without seeing ID. It’s store policy.”

    My Friend: “Okay, then, I’ll pay for it.”

    Cashier: “Can’t do that either. I’m sorry, but I’m just doing my job.”

    Me: “It’s fine, really. It happens all the time. I’ll just get the groceries.”

    Cashier: “I’m really sorry. Just we get a lot of young ones in trying to buy drinks.”

    Me: “I know. I’m from [town just over the border]. We used to come up here all the time when we were younger.”

    Cashier: “I feel terrible. Most people get angry, but you’re being so nice!”

    Me: “It happens all the time; don’t worry! There’s no point getting angry; it’s your job to ask.”

    (I go out to the car, get my passport, and make sure to go back through her lane.)

    Me: “Back again! The picture’s old, but it is me, I promise!”

    Cashier: *checks picture and DOB* “I’ll tell you now, when you’re my age, you’ll appreciate being asked! Thanks a million! It’s great to not be shouted at for once!”

    Dovahkiin’s Day Off

    | Hamburg, Germany | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Skyrim, a popular video game, has just been released. As a result, we are overwhelmed by people who have come to retrieve pre-ordered games and others who haven’t pre-ordered. We’ve just run out of non-pre-ordered games when a customer comes in. He’s holding an empty Skyrim box.)

    Customer: “Oh, hi. I would like to buy Skyrim on PC, please.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve just run out of it. The only ones we have left are pre-ordered.”

    Customer: “Aw, come on, man! You must have some left in the back! Please, go check!”

    Me: “No, I’m sure we ran out of those. Same for PS3 and Xbox versions. Come back tomorrow morning; we’ll be resupplied.”

    (He moans about it for at least 5 minutes before giving up and begins wandering around the store. At this moment, another customer comes in to retrieve a pre-ordered PC version of Skyrim. Before we can say or do anything, the first customer LEAPS on the man, snatches the game from his hands and runs away, with me in tow followed by security. During the chase, the thief screams as if we are going to murder him.)

    Customer: “LEAVE ME ALONE, IT’S MINE! IT’S MYYYYYYYYYYYY GAME!”

    (A few meters later, he crosses the path of a tall man who, seeing and hearing the commotion, screams something to the thief. The tall man then rams the thief with his shoulder, sending the poor kid fly backwards and landing a least half a meter away. As the thief is being taken away by security and I’m retrieving the game box, I talk to the tall man.)

    Me: “Sir, what did you yell to him before grabbing him?”

    Tall Man: “Promise you won’t laugh?”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Tall Man: “FUS RO DAH!”

    (FYI, “Fus Ro Dah” is a spell in Skyrim that allows players to violently push enemies and objects around. I couldn’t avoid laughing, and neither could he!)

    The Life Of The Used And Abused

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (A customer comes up to me with an item wrapped in bubble wrap.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.”

    (The customer hands me the item with no receipt and it’s obviously an item from Christmas. The candle in it has been lit and used and the item is missing part of the tag. I look up the item and find out it’s from Christmas of last year.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot return this item.”

    Customer: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “This item is from Christmas of last year and our return policy is 30 days with your receipt. This is well over 30 days and is a holiday item. We do not accept refunds on holiday items.”

    Customer: “Well, that isn’t my fault. This thing is hideous and I don’t want it anymore.”

    Me: “I understand that, sir, but there isn’t anything I can do.”

    Customer: getting agitated* “Well you HAVE to take it back. I don’t want it. You guys sell ugly things.”

    (At this point, my manager comes over to deal with the increasingly agitated customer.)

    Manager: “Sir, is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Yes! This girl is telling me she won’t take back my item! It’s ugly! I don’t want it! [Competitor] has a policy that they will take back anything anytime! You have to do that too!”

    Manager: “Sir, I am sorry but this item is too old and it’s used. We can’t return it. That is our policy.”

    (This goes back a forth a few times. The customer keeps saying how our competitors policy would allow it. However, we are not affiliated with them, so obviously our policy is different. Finally, the customer gives up and grabs his item from me.)

    Customer: “[Competitor] would have taken it!”

    (The customer storms out and another customer comes up to my manager.)

    Customer #2: “Want me to kick his a** for you all the way to [competitor]?”

    Manager: *laughs* “Be my guest!”

    Should’ve Ripped You A New One

    , | Birmingham, AL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a really nice Country Club on the golf course side of things. Since it is a nice club, it isn’t unusual to get fairly large tips every once in a while.)

    Me: “Hey mister, could you break a hundred for me so we split tips tonight?”

    Member: *clearly inebriated* “Sure, man, I can totally break that hundred for you!”

    (I hand him the hundred dollar bill which he then proceeds to rip in half and then hand back to me.)

    Member: “There! I broke it for you.” *walks off laughing with his friends*

    Other Member: “Man, what an a**hole. Here’s another hundred for the ripped one. I appreciate y’all.”

    (I took the ripped hundred to the bank and they replaced it. I tried to give the other hundred back, but the member refused and said we earned it!)

    The Cappuccino’d Crusader

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I am with my friend at a coffee shop.)

    Me: *to friend* “Hey, can you order my drink for me? I have to go to the bathroom.”

    My Friend: “Yeah, of course!”

    (I return from the bathroom and sit in the waiting area with my friend.)

    Cashier: “I have a mocha frappe for Batman?”

    My Friend: *grins at me*

    Me: “What?”

    Cashier: “FRAPPE FOR BATMAN!”

    My Friend: *grins* “He’s calling you…”

    Me: “What do you…oh my God, you didn’t!”

    Cashier: “Yes, she did. Here’s your order, Batman.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Cashier: “No problem. Just remember to protect Gotham!”


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