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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Grandma Won’t Be Outmatched

    | Illinois, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I’m a customer and am standing in line at the checkout behind a very sweet-looking little old lady. She’s a stereotypical, blue-haired, tiny woman dressed in a very nice yellow and pink pantsuit. The cashier is a nice-looking young man in his late teens or early twenties.)

    Little Old Lady: *to the cashier* “You know, you’re a very handsome young man, and you can hold down a job. That’s a good thing.”

    Cashier: “Thank you, ma’am.”

    (The lady then proceeds to chat in a very friendly manner to the cashier. While talking, she’s very slowly and carefully placing one item at a time on the conveyor.)

    Little Old Lady: “So, I think my granddaughter would be perfect for you. She’s just turned nineteen, she has a nice job of her own, and she’s pretty. You boys like redheads, right?”

    Cashier: *dazed look*

    Little Old Lady: “You really should meet her. I just know you two would be perfect for each other! I know these things!”

    Cashier: “Um, ma’am—”

    Little Old Lady: “So, what do you say? Would you like to meet my Linda?”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I’m gay.”

    (At this, the sweet-faced little old lady just blinks and smiles.)

    Little Old Lady: “Okay, so you need to meet my grandson instead!”

    Good News For A Change, Part 2

    | New York, NY, USA | Awesome Customers

    (It’s a very busy day at our drugstore. A customer comes to my register after waiting a very long time in line.)

    Me: “Hello, did you find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “I want to speak to your manager immediately!”

    Me: “Is there something I could help you with?”

    Customer: “No, I want to speak with your manager now!”

    (I page the manager, and mentally prepare myself for whatever argument this customer is about to unleash.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I need to tell you… I was in here yesterday and this man was just screaming at your employees. Nothing would stop him, he was so angry! They were all trying to be so helpful and he just kept screaming! You should be incredibly proud of your employees! They handled themselves so well and never once argued back!”

    (She put a smile on all of our faces. When her transaction was finished, she told me to keep the change!)

    Related:
    Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

    Sometimes, The Gas Is Half Full

    | Wisconsin, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (It is about 10:30 at night and my shift is done in 30 minutes. I am alone as my coworker has gone home sick an hour ago. Everything is going fine until a young guy, about 19, shows up. He comes in and prepays $50 of diesel and goes out to pump gas. I notice he has starts the wrong pump and has already gotten $8 worth of unpaid for gas when I go out.)

    Me: “Excuse me,sir, but you accidentally grabbed the wrong pump.”

    Customer: “Well, the other one wouldn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay, I will void out the $50 then and just add the remainder to the $8 so you can continue on the same pump.”

    (Note: I have anxiety very bad, so if I get nervous I freeze up and forget how to do simple tasks. The customer, who has been fairly nice up to this point, suddenly becomes very agitated.)

    Customer: “Well, hurry the f*** up! I want to get out of here!”

    (I go inside and he follows, all the while yelling and getting angrier as I try to void out the prepay. However, my anxiety has kicked in and I can’t remember how to do the transaction.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is taking you so long?! I want to get home. Hurry up and do your job!”

    (My anxiety keeps getting worse, so I call in my coworker to come help. Meanwhile, the customer keeps yelling.)

    Customer: “You’re a worthless employee! I’m going to call your manager and get you fired!”

    (He keeps going on until my coworker gets there and fixes everything. The customer hasn’t stopped yelling or hurling insults the whole time. I start having an anxiety attack and begin crying.)

    Customer: “Finally, someone who knows how to do their job! I’ll make sure you get fired, you dumb b****!”

    (He walks out, when a few minutes later another guy, Customer #2, comes in. Apparently, Customer #2 was riding in the same car as the first customer. He grabs a small thing of gum and leans in against the counter, setting it down along with some money.)

    Customer #2: “Hey, I’m really sorry about him. I know it isn’t much, but here’s a little bit of money. I’m just grabbing the gum so he doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

    (I am dumbfounded as Customer #2 walks out. Oh, and the money? I had a completely empty tank and was stressing out all day about it. My car lasted just enough time on the money he gave me!)

    Whoever Said Easter Isn’t Egg-citing Is Hopping Mad

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (This happens around Easter. A man in an Easter Bunny suit comes riding a unicycle into the parking lot and enters the shop.)

    Me: “Hey there, Easter Bunny!”

    Easter Bunny: “Donuts? Sick! I’ll have three strawberry, three cherry, and three blueberry, glazed, and with frosting and sprinkles!”

    Me: *hands him the bag* “Anything else?”

    Easter Bunny: “Nah! Donuts! Sick!”

    (The Easter Bunny suddenly SLAMS his head on the counter, which would have been quite painful if not for the headpiece on his costume. An egg rolls out seemingly from nowhere and onto the counter. He walks out without another word, hops onto his unicycle and rides off. The egg contained exact change—plus a labeled five dollar tip!)

    Customer, Know Thyself

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am a customer standing in line at the bank. Two customers behind me start complaining about the length of the line.)

    Customer #1: “Look at this! It’s ridiculous!”

    Customer #2: “They are moving so slow! The workers should get fired for being so lazy!”

    (This goes on for a couple of minutes. When I draw even with the complaining customers in the switchbacked line, I decide I can’t take it anymore and speak up.)

    Me: “Look at the windows, ladies! Every one of them has customers who didn’t take the time to fill out their slips. Now the tellers have to do it for them, and that takes twice as long! They’re the ones holding up all of us, not the nice people trying to help them!”

    (Note: I’m talking loud enough for everyone at the windows to hear, hoping maybe next time they’ll wise up.)

    Customers #1 and #2: *shocked*

    Me: “Let me guess. Wanna borrow my pen?”

    (The complaining customers sheepishly agree and fill out their slips. Three or four others in line also grab slips and start scribbling, while the customers at the windows look suitably embarrassed. When I finally get to a teller window, she leans towards me and confides in me.)

    Teller: *whispering* “Thank you, from everyone here! I wish I could save the security tape of that!”

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