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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Sometimes, The Gas Is Half Full

    | Wisconsin, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (It is about 10:30 at night and my shift is done in 30 minutes. I am alone as my coworker has gone home sick an hour ago. Everything is going fine until a young guy, about 19, shows up. He comes in and prepays $50 of diesel and goes out to pump gas. I notice he has starts the wrong pump and has already gotten $8 worth of unpaid for gas when I go out.)

    Me: “Excuse me,sir, but you accidentally grabbed the wrong pump.”

    Customer: “Well, the other one wouldn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay, I will void out the $50 then and just add the remainder to the $8 so you can continue on the same pump.”

    (Note: I have anxiety very bad, so if I get nervous I freeze up and forget how to do simple tasks. The customer, who has been fairly nice up to this point, suddenly becomes very agitated.)

    Customer: “Well, hurry the f*** up! I want to get out of here!”

    (I go inside and he follows, all the while yelling and getting angrier as I try to void out the prepay. However, my anxiety has kicked in and I can’t remember how to do the transaction.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is taking you so long?! I want to get home. Hurry up and do your job!”

    (My anxiety keeps getting worse, so I call in my coworker to come help. Meanwhile, the customer keeps yelling.)

    Customer: “You’re a worthless employee! I’m going to call your manager and get you fired!”

    (He keeps going on until my coworker gets there and fixes everything. The customer hasn’t stopped yelling or hurling insults the whole time. I start having an anxiety attack and begin crying.)

    Customer: “Finally, someone who knows how to do their job! I’ll make sure you get fired, you dumb b****!”

    (He walks out, when a few minutes later another guy, Customer #2, comes in. Apparently, Customer #2 was riding in the same car as the first customer. He grabs a small thing of gum and leans in against the counter, setting it down along with some money.)

    Customer #2: “Hey, I’m really sorry about him. I know it isn’t much, but here’s a little bit of money. I’m just grabbing the gum so he doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

    (I am dumbfounded as Customer #2 walks out. Oh, and the money? I had a completely empty tank and was stressing out all day about it. My car lasted just enough time on the money he gave me!)

    Whoever Said Easter Isn’t Egg-citing Is Hopping Mad

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (This happens around Easter. A man in an Easter Bunny suit comes riding a unicycle into the parking lot and enters the shop.)

    Me: “Hey there, Easter Bunny!”

    Easter Bunny: “Donuts? Sick! I’ll have three strawberry, three cherry, and three blueberry, glazed, and with frosting and sprinkles!”

    Me: *hands him the bag* “Anything else?”

    Easter Bunny: “Nah! Donuts! Sick!”

    (The Easter Bunny suddenly SLAMS his head on the counter, which would have been quite painful if not for the headpiece on his costume. An egg rolls out seemingly from nowhere and onto the counter. He walks out without another word, hops onto his unicycle and rides off. The egg contained exact change—plus a labeled five dollar tip!)

    Customer, Know Thyself

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am a customer standing in line at the bank. Two customers behind me start complaining about the length of the line.)

    Customer #1: “Look at this! It’s ridiculous!”

    Customer #2: “They are moving so slow! The workers should get fired for being so lazy!”

    (This goes on for a couple of minutes. When I draw even with the complaining customers in the switchbacked line, I decide I can’t take it anymore and speak up.)

    Me: “Look at the windows, ladies! Every one of them has customers who didn’t take the time to fill out their slips. Now the tellers have to do it for them, and that takes twice as long! They’re the ones holding up all of us, not the nice people trying to help them!”

    (Note: I’m talking loud enough for everyone at the windows to hear, hoping maybe next time they’ll wise up.)

    Customers #1 and #2: *shocked*

    Me: “Let me guess. Wanna borrow my pen?”

    (The complaining customers sheepishly agree and fill out their slips. Three or four others in line also grab slips and start scribbling, while the customers at the windows look suitably embarrassed. When I finally get to a teller window, she leans towards me and confides in me.)

    Teller: *whispering* “Thank you, from everyone here! I wish I could save the security tape of that!”

    Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

    | NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (The following happens when a well-dressed man comes in with bags full of sweets and gifts.)

    Customer: “What’s your favorite flavor?!”

    Me: “I like the lemon.”

    Customer: “Then, give me that! A large! It’s for my wife!” *shakes with excitement*

    Me: “I guess those presents and sweets are for her, too?”

    Customer: *shakes with even more excitement* “YES! Yes they are!”

    Me: “Here you go. That will be five dollars—”

    Customer: *unable to contain himself* “MY WIFE IS PREGNANT! PREGNANT! I’m going to have a little son or daughter! HIGH FIVE!”

    (The customer proceeds to high five me over the register and throws a bill onto the table.)

    Customer: “I’m going to be a dad! Keep the change!” *skips out of the store*

    (The bill he threw? It was $50!)

    Voracity Is The Mother Of Intervention

    | Ontario, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (This occurs when I’m bringing desserts and coffee to a table with two customers—one middle-aged woman and one elderly woman.)

    Me: “Here you go. Is there anything else I can get for you ladies?”

    Middle-aged Customer: “An extra fork, please.”

    Me: “I’ll get you one right away.”

    (After I return with her fork…)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, but my coffee is far too strong.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “…and old. I tried some, and it’s clearly been sitting for a long time.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about the strength, although I actually made that coffee after you ordered it. I can make you another less strong one if you’d like.”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I leave, make her a new coffee at half-strength and come back to return it, at which point they’ve eaten all of their dessert.)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Excuse me, but the mango cheesecake was far too sweet.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. The cheesecake is something they make in the kitchen, but I’ll certainly let them know for you.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Could I maybe get a discount on it, or have it for free because of that?”

    Me: “Um… I can ask the chef for you, but I don’t think he’ll say yes, since you finished the whole thing.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Well, I didn’t mention this earlier, but my dinner was also too salty.”

    Me: “Again, I can let them know, and ask about a discount, but you ate the whole thing, so I doubt I’ll be allowed to reduce the price for you.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “The scallops in it were mushy, too!”

    Me: “Well, they were breaded scallops and the dish you ordered was very saucy. It’s unfortunately unavoidable that they’d get somewhat soft from the sauce. Again, I can talk to the kitchen for you, but I doubt there’ll be any result.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Hmm…” *to the elderly customer* “Did we order any appetizers?”

    Elderly Customer: “The appetizer was delicious, you said so yourself. Now stop trying to get freebies and let the poor girl go do her job. There’s other people at other tables that you’re keeping her from helping by holding her here with all your complaints.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Fine! That’s everything. Just bring us the bill.”

    (As I leave to go to the kitchen and deliver her complaints, I hear the elderly customer berating the middle-aged one.)

    Elderly Customer: “Shame on you, a grown woman! I didn’t raise you to be a greedyguts!”

    Related:
    Necessity Is The Mother Of Intervention


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