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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Awesome Customers

    Screaming For Horse Power Makes You Hoarse

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (Customer #1 has come in to exchange her vehicle, as the original car had a mechanical problem. Although she is visibly frustrated, she has remained polite during the entire exchange.)

    Customer #1: “If I seem b****y at all to you, I apologize. I am just so annoyed at this car!”

    Me: “If there is anybody that should be apologizing, it should be us. We should have checked the car better.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you are doing a wonderful job, and I just have to remind myself not to get mad at you. It is not your fault, and you are the one helping me. The last thing I want is to get upset at you in particular!”

    Me: “Ma’am, even with how frustrated you are feeling, you are still one of the politest customers we have had all day.”

    (As we are finishing the exchange, Customer #2 comes in being helped by my co-worker.)

    Customer #2: “This is bulls***! Last time I was here, my insurance paid for a much nicer car than what you’re giving me! Why are you lying to me?”

    Coworker: “Sir, I assure you, this is the car that your insurance company will cover.”

    (While Customer #2 continues his swearing rant, Customer #1 talks to me.)

    Customer #1: “This is why I am glad I was able to keep my cool. I feel better knowing that I didn’t end up acting like that!”

    Me: “I told you. Even upset, you are one of the nicest customers we have here!”

    Time Waits For Slow Man, Part 2

    | Waynesville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I’m in line at a grocery store in a tiny town in the North Carolina mountains. In front of me is an old woman who’s moving rather slowly. Behind me is a young suit who has no patience.)

    Old Woman: “Now is this one on sale, sugar?”

    Young Suit: *muttering loudly behind her* “This is bulls***.”

    Old Woman: “I got me two, no, three coupons.”

    Young Suit: *even louder* “Some of us have places to be.”

    Old Woman: “I think I got me two pennies, darling. Just a minute.”

    Young Suit: “Come on, come on, get your a** in gear!”

    Old Woman: “Young man, if you was a-wantin’ to get there so early, you should have left home sooner!”

    Related:
    Time Waits For Slow Man

    Someone Is Telling Porkies

    | Youngstown, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (My wife and I are eating at an Indian restaurant. An older couple has finished their meal in the booth next to ours; the server has brought them their bill.)

    Customer: “Are you sure this was lamb curry? It tasted like pork.”

    Server: “Yes, sir. We do not serve pork.”

    Customer: “I’m not calling you a liar, but it sure tasted like pork.”

    Server: “We do not have any pork on the menu, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, all I know is, it tasted like pork.”

    Server: “Sir, we do not even have any pork in the building.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m telling you, it tasted like pork!”

    My Wife: *to me, but loudly enough for them to hear* “Didn’t stop him from eating it all, though.”

    (The customer glares at us, then silently hands the server his credit card. They leave quickly when she brings it back.)

    Server: *to my wife* “Thank you so much!”

    You Won’t Be-Leaf It

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Top, Transportation

    (I am on the bus. There was a rather severe windstorm the previous night.)

    Passenger: “Why are we stopping in the middle of the road?”

    Driver: “There’s a fallen tree in the road.”

    (The passenger talks to his companions for a few seconds.)

    Passenger: “Can you let us off?”

    Driver: “Why?”

    Passenger: “We’re going to move the tree.”

    (The passenger is a rather skinny looking guy.)

    Driver: “…Sure.”

    (The passenger and his friends get off the bus, then proceed to drag the fallen tree out of the road.)

    Driver: “Well, I’ll be…”

    (Thanks to the passengers who cleared it, and to the bus driver who let them off to do it—since it’s against policy to let them off at any place but a proper bus stop.)

    He Got Served While Getting Served

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (A customer is debating the price of items with me. I have told him several times they are not on sale. This has taken almost ten minutes, and the people behind him are starting to look very annoyed.)

    Me: “Sir, I assure you those items are not on sale.”

    Customer #1: “You b****! They are too! You’re just trying to rob me! Where the h*** is your manager?”

    Me: “I am the manager on duty. ”

    Customer #1: *grabs my shirt collar* “That’s bulls***! Women can’t run stores. You’re too dumb! Especially your age!”

    (At that moment, another customer, Customer #2, intervenes. Note that Customer #2 is a petite lady in her late twenties, about as old as me. She stands on her toes, grabs Customer #1’s shoulder, and yanks him around. Then, she slaps him across the face.)

    Customer #1: *stunned* “Wh-wha? Who the h*** do you think you are?”

    Customer #2: “You work at [very successful local legal firm], right?”

    Customer #1: *nods*

    Customer #2: “Well, I own [very successful local legal firm], and you don’t work there anymore.”

    (Customer #1 finally recognizes Customer #2 and gets a horrified look of realization on his face. He sprints out of the store, leaving his groceries on the counter.)

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