November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Awesome Customers

Cold Hearts Can Lead To Warm Cockles

| Manchester, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

(My friend works at a coffee kiosk at a train station. We are experiencing the coldest day of the year so far. It is only 30 minutes after opening, so she has not had a chance to warm up.)

Customer #1: “Cinnamon latte. Small. Now.”

My Friend: “Of course, sir.”

(My friend starts making the latte, but her hands are numb from the cold and she makes mistakes. There is a heater near her, but it only really helps her legs.)

Customer #1: “Will you hurry up? It’s freezing! Can’t believe I had to wait for a train in this weather! At least my office will be nice and warm when I get there!”

(Customer #1 carries on ranting and raving about the weather. At this point, another customer behind him, Customer #2, speaks up.)

Customer #2: “At least you don’t have to work in this weather!”

Customer #1: *smugly* “She has a heater! And the coffee machines are spewing steam all the time. She’ll be fine!”

Customer #2: “Would you want to work here?”

Customer #1: “Would I, heck! It’s too cold!”

(At this point the transaction is finished and he runs off to his platform.)

Customer #2: *to my friend* “What an idiot! What do you recommend from the new range?”

My Friend: “The gingerbread latte is pretty good.”

Customer #2: “Okay. I’ll have two, please.”

(My friend makes his order and hands him the two lattes.)

Customer #2: “Here, for you!”

(He takes the second drink and places it in front of my friend, but walks off before she can say anything. The festive period has begun, so there are going to be even more brutish and rude customers than usual. However, there are some really nice ones out there too! Happy Holidays!)

Gamers Have To Band Together

| NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Musical Mayhem, Top

(A demo for Rock Band has been set up at the electronics store I work at. I hang around the game section to answer questions and help out. I see two kids, about 8 or 9, who are playing the guitars on easy, while a very pregnant lady is playing drums. I assume they’re all together until another woman storms up.)

Woman: *to the boys* “I told you not to play these games! They’re bad for you!” *turns to the pregnant lady* “You’re setting a bad example! Don’t you know how horrible video games are for kids?! Your poor child!”

Pregnant Lady: *smiling, but not stopping* “Actually, music proficiency is linked to having advantages in math and study skills and video games, and when used correctly can instill time management and problem solving skills.” *does a difficult drum riff* “If my ‘poor child’ does half as well as his gamer parents, he’ll have at least two degrees, and a successful medical career.”

(The pregnant lady finishes the song, scores 90% on expert, and gets up. She smiles and leaves the demo. I held up my fist on the way out and she fist-bumped me. The other woman couldn’t pull her two kids away fast enough.)

Top Shelf Morals, Bottom Shelf Attitude

| Medford, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Rude & Risque, Underaged

(I am stocking magazines at a bookstore when two young boys reach high up on the shelves and grab adult magazines. They hunch over and open the magazines to gawk at the photos.)

Me: “Excuse me, are you guys 18 or over?”

Boy #1: “Why, what’s it to you?”

Me: “It’s my job, actually. If you’re not 18, you can’t even touch those. Would you put that magazine back, please?”

Boy #2: “I’m 18.”

(Boy #2 is obviously about 12 or 13 from his height and appearance.)

Me: “Really? What year were you born?”

Boy #2: “None of your business!”

Me: “Okay, both of you put those magazines back, right now.”

Boy #1: “I’m 18, too.”

(Just then, a young mother carrying a baby and a diaper bag approaches the counter a few feet away.)

Young Mother: *to cashier* “Can I ask you for a certain book?”

Cashier: “Sure, what are you looking for?”

Young Mother: “It’s called ‘How to Raise a Moral Child‘.”

(Boy #1 and Boy #2 burst out laughing, catching the attention of the young mother, who looks over disapprovingly. The boys laugh and turn away from her, now facing me.)

Me: *arms crossed, leaning in* “How about now?”

(They stop laughing abruptly, put the magazines back on the nearest shelf, and slink out.)

Guarding The Lifeguard

| Albany, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a lifeguard at an apartment complex. It’s the end of summer, and some new tenants are at the pool for the first time, the first of whom is pretty muscular. I notice that they’re smoking, which is against the rules.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow smoking in the pool area. Could you please put those out?”

New Tenant #1: “Really? Come on.”

New Tenant #2: “You can’t do anything anymore.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it does bother some people.”

New Tenant #1: “Whatever.”

(They put out their cigarettes and I go back to my chair. A few minutes later, Tenant #1 gets up and dives into the pool. It’s 4.5 feet deep, and there are signs everywhere forbidding diving.)

Me: “Sir, there is absolutely no diving at this pool!”

New Tenant #1: “Man, I’m about ready to throw you over the f***ing fence!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but diving isn’t allowed. There are signs all over the place.”

New Tenant #1: *flexes menacingly* “Who the f*** do you think you are?”

Me: “I’m the lifeguard, sir, and it’s my job to enforce the rules. Please don’t do that again, or you’ll have to leave.”

(Overhearing the commotion, an old tenant speaks up.)

Old Tenant: “Are you okay?”

Me: “I’m fine, no problem.”

(The new tenants go back to their party, and they leave in a minute, still grumbling angrily.)

Old Tenant: “That jerk! I can’t believe he threatened you like that! You need to tell the manager. I’ll back you up.”

Me: “Don’t worry, I will. Thank you so much.”

(The next day, the old tenant told the story to everyone who missed it. A dozen people came up to me and said they had my back if he returned, thanked me for being such a good guard, and apologized for him. On the last day, I got four thank you cards and $80 in tips!)

Paying It Cool

| Reno, NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(It’s very rainy day on the weekend. The restaurant is very busy, but I am the only person working due to payroll issues. I have twice slipped in a puddle of water customers have dragged in, and I have hurt myself a bit. Customer #1 is a rude new customer, and Customer #2 is an elderly woman, also new. Both taking advantage of a half-off promotion. I’m running the bar making a margarita and taking a to-go order, but I am still a little shaken up from my fall. I drop the top to a mixer and it clatters on the floor.)

Customer #1: *mocking voice* “Oh no, don’t fall.”

(Her whole table laughs. I blush and ignore the rude customer and continue doing my job. I start the rounds to see if anyone else needs a refill when I reach Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “I have to say, you handled that situation very coolly.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. It was just a little fall.”

Customer #2: “No, the other situation.” *turns to look at Customer #1, who looks away*

Me: “Oh no, it’s okay. That my job; I’m here to serve!”

Customer #2: “Regardless, you were so level-headed even though that looked like it hurt pretty bad. You’re just so cool, handling it like you are!”

(Customer #1 has stopped eating and is just blushing and staring at her food.)

Me: “It really is okay. I’m just doing my job.”

Customer #2: “And you’re doing a great job! You’re just so much cooler than some other people. You’re a great waiter!”

(By now, I’m blushing.)

Me: “Thank you, can I get you anything else?”

(Hearing this, Customer #1 slaps some cash on the table and leaves just barely enough to cover her meal. When Customer #2 leaves after her, she leaves $11 dollars extra and gives me a Peace sign. Thank you, ma’am, that made me so happy! I used the extra money to buy snacks for the kitchen staff!)