October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Awesome Customers

Guarding The Lifeguard

| Albany, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a lifeguard at an apartment complex. It’s the end of summer, and some new tenants are at the pool for the first time, the first of whom is pretty muscular. I notice that they’re smoking, which is against the rules.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow smoking in the pool area. Could you please put those out?”

New Tenant #1: “Really? Come on.”

New Tenant #2: “You can’t do anything anymore.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it does bother some people.”

New Tenant #1: “Whatever.”

(They put out their cigarettes and I go back to my chair. A few minutes later, Tenant #1 gets up and dives into the pool. It’s 4.5 feet deep, and there are signs everywhere forbidding diving.)

Me: “Sir, there is absolutely no diving at this pool!”

New Tenant #1: “Man, I’m about ready to throw you over the f***ing fence!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but diving isn’t allowed. There are signs all over the place.”

New Tenant #1: *flexes menacingly* “Who the f*** do you think you are?”

Me: “I’m the lifeguard, sir, and it’s my job to enforce the rules. Please don’t do that again, or you’ll have to leave.”

(Overhearing the commotion, an old tenant speaks up.)

Old Tenant: “Are you okay?”

Me: “I’m fine, no problem.”

(The new tenants go back to their party, and they leave in a minute, still grumbling angrily.)

Old Tenant: “That jerk! I can’t believe he threatened you like that! You need to tell the manager. I’ll back you up.”

Me: “Don’t worry, I will. Thank you so much.”

(The next day, the old tenant told the story to everyone who missed it. A dozen people came up to me and said they had my back if he returned, thanked me for being such a good guard, and apologized for him. On the last day, I got four thank you cards and $80 in tips!)

Paying It Cool

| Reno, NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(It’s very rainy day on the weekend. The restaurant is very busy, but I am the only person working due to payroll issues. I have twice slipped in a puddle of water customers have dragged in, and I have hurt myself a bit. Customer #1 is a rude new customer, and Customer #2 is an elderly woman, also new. Both taking advantage of a half-off promotion. I’m running the bar making a margarita and taking a to-go order, but I am still a little shaken up from my fall. I drop the top to a mixer and it clatters on the floor.)

Customer #1: *mocking voice* “Oh no, don’t fall.”

(Her whole table laughs. I blush and ignore the rude customer and continue doing my job. I start the rounds to see if anyone else needs a refill when I reach Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “I have to say, you handled that situation very coolly.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. It was just a little fall.”

Customer #2: “No, the other situation.” *turns to look at Customer #1, who looks away*

Me: “Oh no, it’s okay. That my job; I’m here to serve!”

Customer #2: “Regardless, you were so level-headed even though that looked like it hurt pretty bad. You’re just so cool, handling it like you are!”

(Customer #1 has stopped eating and is just blushing and staring at her food.)

Me: “It really is okay. I’m just doing my job.”

Customer #2: “And you’re doing a great job! You’re just so much cooler than some other people. You’re a great waiter!”

(By now, I’m blushing.)

Me: “Thank you, can I get you anything else?”

(Hearing this, Customer #1 slaps some cash on the table and leaves just barely enough to cover her meal. When Customer #2 leaves after her, she leaves $11 dollars extra and gives me a Peace sign. Thank you, ma’am, that made me so happy! I used the extra money to buy snacks for the kitchen staff!)

Not All Visitors Stink

| Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work at the snack shack at my local zoo one summer. We have a huge group of middle-school aged kids in the park, and their supervisor has all 75+ of them come to the shack at once for lunch. I have been serving for about forty-five minutes when this happens.)

Kid #1: “Can I get a water and a hot dog for five dollars?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I ring him up, take his money, and give him the water. I’ve turned around to get the hotdog and am just coming back when I hear a shriek.)

Me: “What happened?”

Kid #1: “I don’t know.” *grabs hot dog and walks off*

(I try to calm the kids down, and just when they’re in a line again, I smell an powerful odor; it’s obviously what caused the shriek.)

Me: “Someone set off a stink bomb. One second…”

(I radio the front so they know, but there are other groups in the park and it’s not an immediate danger, so it’s still just me.)

Kid #2: “Yeah. I want to know who it is so we can get them later.”

Me: “Here’s your order. So, someone decided to set off a stink bomb right where you all are getting and eating food?”

Kid #3: “Pretty much. I want a cheeseburger and a soda.”

Me: *still serving* “…In a place full of animals with a great sense of smell, like the bears and mandrills behind me?”

Kid #4: “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out and beat them up for you!”

Me: “Oh, that’s sweet.”

(I keep serving for about another ten minutes when I again hear a shriek; this time, it turns into hysterical screaming. I look and see that one of the parrots has been spooked off his perch, and, for some reason, several kids are screaming since he’s on the ground near them. I grab the radio and tell the keepers, but put up my “Back in Five Minutes” to calm the screaming kids down..)

Me: *to the screaming kids* “It’s okay. Just back away from the macaw, kids. He’ll be fine; you’ll be fine. Just back up.”

(The kids do so, and a keeper prepping for the wolf show runs over to put the bird back.)

Me: “Thanks.”

Keeper: “No problem. Hang in there…”

(The keeper has just left when I hear yet another kid yell.)

Another Kid: “Leave him alone!”

(I turn to see some kids spooking our white peacock; this other kid, a girl, is trying to protect it.)

Me: “Oh for the love of… that is the head keeper’s personal favorite animal! Desist!”

(The kids break up, apparently snickering at my use of the word ‘desist’. I get back into the shack.)

Kid #6: “Yay, you’re back. Um, a hot pretzel and soda.”

(After I serve him, I see Kids #2 and #3; they’ve come back with a large group. To my surprise, the kids proceed to empty all the change I’ve given them into the donation jar.)

Kid #2: “Sorry it’s been so crazy. I swear we’re not all that bad!”

Supportive Of Technical Support

| USA | Awesome Customers, Technology, Top

Technician: “Hello, how may I be of service?”

Customer: “You’re a technician?”

Technician: “Yes, sir. I’ve worked here for 3 years. I assure you that I’m qualified to help you with any problems you might have.”

Customer: “You’re the first female tech I’ve spoken to. You must really be good.”

Technician: “Thank you.”

Customer: “Do you ever get nasty comments?”

Technician: “Unfortunately, yes I do sometimes. I’ve learnt to deal with them.”

Customer: “Well, they can all stick it where it don’t shine! And if you’re seriously having trouble with a particular guy, let me know and I’ll make sure they’ll regret it!”

(From then on, this customer always asked for our female technician.)

Brace(let) Yourself For A Good Cause

| Reisterstown, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

(We sell rubber bracelets in different colors that say one of the following: ‘Be Brave; Be Amazing; Be Kind; Be Accepting, Be Involved; Be Yourself’. When purchased, they donate money to a foundation that prevents bullying of children in school. A mother and her 8-year-old daughter are in the store looking at the bracelets.)

Daughter: “Mom, can I get one of these?”

Mom: “Yeah, sure. Which one?”

Daughter: “I’m not sure. I like all of them. They say such nice things.”

Mom: “Yeah, they say really nice things, but I don’t like ‘Be Accepting’.”

Daughter: “Well, why not?”

Mom: “It sounds lame or something.”

Me: *gives the mother a dirty look*

Daughter: *catches on and buys the ‘Be Brave’ bracelet*

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