November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Awesome Customers

When Toxic Personalities Become Intoxicated

| Nashville, TN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, School, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am bartending at a neighborhood dive that caters mostly to a set of regulars who were minimum wage or blue collar workers, but occasionally some of the kids from an expensive nearby university would wander in. I am talking to a female regular at the bar who happens to be seated next to a young guy from the college.)

Me: “Hey, did you check out that show I told you about?”

Regular: “Yeah, thanks, it was really funny!”

(We are discussing episodes, when a college kid joins in.)

College Guy: “Hey, I love that show! What season are you up to?”

(For a few minutes, we all engage in friendly conversation until, suddenly, a spoiled and VERY intoxicated college girl in a miniskirt and six-inch heels proceeds to shove my female regular in the back.)

College Girl: “Hey, b****!”

Regular: *calmly turns on her barstool to look at the girl*

College Girl: “Quit talking to my boyfriend, you stupid w****!”

Regular: “Miss, we were just having a polite conversation.”

College Girl: “You think you can steal my boyfriend, you ugly b****?” *she shoves the regular’s shoulder for emphasis* “Stupid f***ing s***! You wanna try and steal my boyfriend?”

Regular: “Miss, I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood. I have a boyfriend of my own.” *untucks a set of dog-tags from her shirt as proof* “I wasn’t hitting on your boyfriend; we were just having a nice chat. Please calm down.”

College Girl: “You think you can just hit on my boyfriend, you f***ing s***? F*** you, you fat ugly b****!”

(She shoves the regular again, and by now I am furiously trying to flag down the bouncer. The bar has gone quiet, and the girls’ friends have nervously gathered behind her to watch the spectacle.)

Regular: “Miss, please do not touch me again.”

College Girl: “You wanna start something, b****? You wanna start something with me? Come on, you stupid w****!”

(Another shove, and this time the regular stands from her stool.)

Regular: “Miss, I’ve asked you nicely, but now I’m telling you. Do. Not. Touch. Me. Again.”

College Girl: “Let’s go, w****! I’ll f*** you up!”

(Mid-sentence, she tries to shove my regular again, but this time the regular catches the college girl’s arm and delivers a powerful right cross to her face, knocking her out cold. The regular watches the drunk college girl drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes, then sits back down on her barstool and turns back to the bar. The college girl’s friends proceed to pick the woozy girl up off the ground in time for bouncer to escort them all to the parking lot.)

Regular: *to the bouncer* “Me, too?”

Bouncer: “H***, no! I saw the whole thing, girl! You sit your a** back on that stool and order a beer on me.”

(The regular and I exchange smiles as I pull her usual up from the cooler. It’s at this point that we both notice that the college guy who was the cause of the whole mess looking at the regular with his jaw on the floor.)

Regular: “Hey, man, sorry about your girlfriend, but I did warn her.”

College Guy: “Okay, let me stop you right there. That was not my girlfriend. I had never even met that girl before tonight. I have no idea what the h*** she was talking about. And that was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. So the bouncer can get the next round, but that one’s on me.”

(One of the girl’s friends ended up coming back in and apologizing for her pal’s erratic behavior, and offered to buy a round for my regular, too. After that night, every regular in the place usually bought one for ‘One-Punch’ whenever she came in, until she moved away to marry her soldier boyfriend!)

Closed Store, Open Kindness

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(We close in five minutes and since it has been a slow night, my coworker and I have turned off the lights in the cases and wrapped the pastries. A customer walks in and my coworker turns on the lights in the cases.)

Customer: “Are you closed?”

Me: “No, sir. We close in just a few minutes.”

Customer: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I just need to pick up some coffee beans and dessert. I’ll be fast!”

Me: “Don’t worry, you’re okay.”

(I get his coffee beans while my coworker cuts him a slice of cake. She goes to the back to wash the knife while I ring him up.)

Me: “Your total is [total.]”

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands me his credit card* “I am so sorry; I thought you closed at 9:00.”

Me: “It’s no problem, really.”

(He looks into the tip jar, which is empty because we have already split the tips.)

Customer: “Oh, your tip jar is empty. Well here, you two can split this.” *drops money into jar*

Me: “Thank you, have a good night!”

Customer: “You too!”

(I expected a dollar in the tip jar, but it was a $10 bill!)

The Deal Of His Life

| NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am being served in a gas station, when a drunk customer approaches the clerk.)

Drunk Customer: “Do you sell beer?”

Clerk: “Of course, sir. Right over there.”

(The clerk starts to ring my up my purchases, but the drunk customer shoves them aside and drops a pair of six-packs on the counter.)

Clerk: “I, uh—”

(I nod for him to go ahead. Just then, the door opens behind me and four uniformed police officers come in. There are three police cars parked out front, and one of the cops is quite loudly talking into a radio.)

Drunk Customer: “Hey! You overcharged me. I saw you. Dirty Jew!”

Clerk: “I… um… I’m Irish Catholic.”

Cop: “Sir, do we need to—”

Clerk: “No, no, just let him—”

Drunk Customer: *turns around and faces me* “Yo, little lady! Don’t say a word of what you’re about to see. Got it?” *to clerk* “Y’know the guy who worked here before you? They threw him in jail for dealing heroin.”

Clerk: “Yes, um, I remember that.”

Drunk Man: “So, sell me some f***ing heroin!”

Clerk: “I, uh…” *he takes cover behind the counter*

Cop: “Okay, buddy, we need to-”

(The drunk customer pulls a gun from his pants. It’s small, orange-tipped, and says ‘SUPER FUN CAP GUN’ on the side. However, the cops can’t see it, and they draw their guns.)

Me: *to the cops* “It’s a toy! It’s a cap gun!”

(Hearing this, one cop quickly holsters his gun and tackles the man.)

Drunk Customer: *as he’s dragged away by the cops* “Yo, b****! I told you not to tell! We had a deal, we had a deal!”

(Fast forward some time, and note that both the drunk customer and I have some pretty unique and visible tattoos. I’m at a cafe.)

Waiter: “Excuse me, miss, but I have to ask, I think I recognize your tattoos.”

Me: *noticing his* “Gas station, four cops, cap gun?”

Waiter: “I never got to thank you for intervening on my behalf. I should have been shot that day.”

(We chat for a while. After the conversation, he tells me my meal’s on the house. Unfortunately for him, I’ve gotten the same thing I always do, so I leave the amount, plus a decent tip, anyway. As I’m leaving, he notices what I’ve done.)

Waiter: “Yo, b****! I told you not to pay! We had a deal!” *notices shocked patrons* “Uh, hope you enjoyed your coffee.”

The Gift Card That Keeps Giving

| Greeley, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am working the register over Christmas.)

Me: “Find everything today?”

Customer: “Yup.”

(Note: she is silent through the transaction, which includes a gift card.)

Me: “How much would you like on this?”

Customer: “Oh, sorry. Can I have $150?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: *after paying* “Can you do me a favor?” *she hands me the gift card* “The next customer you see that you think could use this, could you give it to them?”

Me: *stunned* “…Of course!”

(After a minute another customer comes up, a visibly upset young woman.)

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer #2: “I’m okay, thanks.”

(Clearly she is not ok, but she is trying very hard to be pleasant. She is getting very basic items: milk, bread, eggs, etc. Nothing very festive.)

Me: “So your total comes out to $0.00.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “The person before you gave me a $150 gift card to use for the next person I thought could use it. You look like you’re having a rough day, so here are your groceries, and there’s about $130 left on this card.”

(The customer just started crying. Once she could, she thanked me about 100 times. Made my whole Christmas season.)

Love And War

| USA | Awesome Customers, Military, Top, Tourists/Travel

(My husband and I wed three weeks before he leaves for Afghanistan, so we decide to postpone our honeymoon until after he comes home. A year later, we finally find time for our honeymoon and decide to go to Vegas. As we’re boarding the plane, we’ve decided to wear what we had worn for the wedding so we can arrive in style: he’s in his formal Army dress uniform, while I’m in my cocktail-length wedding dress.)

Flight Attendant: “We would now like to invite our first class passengers and any members of the military in uniform and their guests to board.”

(As we get up to board, a male passenger scoffs loudly.)

Passenger: “That’s bulls***! Why should that f** get to board first?!”

(There are gasps from the other passengers.)

Passenger: “F***ing murderer! You should be ashamed of yourself.”

(At this point, my husband and I are beet red with anger and embarrassment, but we choose to ignore this man and board the plane. After the rest of the plane has boarded, a member of the flight crew approaches us in coach.)

Flight Attendant: “Sir, ma’am: two of our passengers would like to offer you their seats in first class.”

Me: *shocked* “You’re kidding!”

Flight Attendant: “Not at all, ma’am. They’ve cleared it with us, and would like to switch seats with you before we take off, in recognition of your service.”

(As we stand up, the other passengers take interest. An older gentleman and his wife began to make their way back from first class, obviously the couple who had offered their seats to us.)

Gentleman Passenger: “Are you folks on your honeymoon?”

Husband: “Yes, sir.”

Gentleman Passenger: “Wonderful.” *in full voice, so the whole plane can hear* “My wife and I would take it as a personal favor to us if you would sit in our seats up in first class. I served in the military, as did my father, as well as two of our sons, one of whom is no longer with us. And I wanted to let you both know how proud we are to be flying with you today and for everything you’ve done for us and our country. I’m dreadfully sorry for the way you were treated when you were boarding, and we hope you enjoy the seats and have a lovely honeymoon and a wonderful life together.”

(By now, I am in tears, and the man shakes my husband’s hand while his wife gave me a big hug. We went up to first class and the gentleman and his wife took our seats in couch to applause from the whole plane and flight crew. Furthermore, the crew treated us like royalty for the whole flight. We were told upon disembarking that the people who were seated next to the passenger who had slurred us in the first place had asked to be moved away from him, and that he was given enough dirty looks and reproachful comments that he pouted for the entire flight.)