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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Mistaken Slips Can Lead To Lucky Tips

    | Westhoughton, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    Me: “Good morning. How can I help you today?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh, the usual… some cigarettes, a newspaper and a scratch card, please.”

    (I scan her stuff through.)

    Regular Customer: “Oh, and can I also have a 7 line lucky dip for tonight, please?”

    (I print off a ticket.)

    Me: “That will be £20.71, please.”

    Regular Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “£20.71, please.”

    Regular Customer: “I refuse to pay that. You are trying to con me out of some money. I’ve always suspected you were trying to rob me!”

    (The manager notices and comes over.)

    Manager: “Is something wrong?”

    Regular Customer: “This b**** is robbing me of my money. How can all this come to twenty quid?”

    Manager: “Erm, what day do you think it is today?”

    Regular Customer: *scoffs* “Wednesday!”

    Manager: “Actually, it’s Tuesday.” *points to a newspaper*

    Regular Customer: “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! It’s not the Lotto tonight, it’s the Euromillions, isn’t it?”

    (FYI: 1 Euromillions line costs £2, whereas 1 Lotto line costs £1.)

    Me: “That is completely understandable. Considering it is before 8 am, I reckon I’ll forgive you. Would you like me to refund and print you off one for tomorrow?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh no, I’ll give this one a go. You never know!”

    (When I went in for my next shift, my boss handed me an envelope. I was surprised to find a card from the customer apologizing. The best bit? She won a small amount on that ticket and gave me half of it!)

    Honesty Is The Sweetest Policy

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

    (An Hispanic woman and her son, who is about six, come into the store. The mother gets the little boy a soda and he grabs a candy bar. Note: they are standing in the middle of our candy aisle, which I don’t have a completely clear view of.)

    Little Boy: “Mama, can I have this? I’ve been good!”

    Mother: *in English* “No, put it back. I don’t have the money for it and the soda.” *in Spanish* “Just put it in your pocket. She will never know.”

    Little Boy: “No!”

    Mother: *in Spanish* “That stupid b**** will never know! She can’t see you from there!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Mother: *innocently smiles* “Yes?”

    Me: *in Spanish* “The stupid b**** speaks Spanish.” *in English* “So, if you’re smart, you’ll either put the candy bar on the counter with the soda, or put it back. It’s your choice.”

    (The mother puts the candy bar back, pays for the drink, and then walked out. The little boy lags behind and approaches the counter by himself.)

    Little Boy: *shakes his head* “I don’t know why mama thinks white people don’t know Spanish.” *whispers* “That’s racist!” *normal volume* “Don’t worry, when we get home Daddy and I will put Mama in time-out for being bad and saying a dirty word!”

    (The kid made my day, so I bought him the candy bar for being honest and so adorable!)

    Good Customers Are Worth Their Waiter In Gold

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am waiting on a table with a particularly bratty little kid and his mother.)

    Kid: “Hey, you!” *rudely shakes his empty cup at me*

    Me: “Hey Bud! Can I help you with something?”

    Kid’s Mom: *sarcastically* “I think its pretty obvious that he needs something else to drink, if it’s not too much trouble, since your job is SO hard and all!”

    (Hearing this, a customer at the next table speaks up.)

    Another Customer: “Ha! The only thing obvious to me, lady, is that you and your husband clearly haven’t taught that little punk any manners. As for this young lady’s job, I’m sure it is difficult! If I had to deal with horrible folks like you all day I would probably want to hang myself.” *to me* “My hats off to you, sweetheart!”

    (The look on that woman’s face was priceless! The bratty kid and his mom family left soon after that episode, while the other customer high-fived me every time I walked by his table. On top of that, he left me a 50% tip. Some good customers really make this crap worth while!)

    Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Bequeather

    | Sydney, Australia | Awesome Customers, Time, Top

    (Most customers at the café where I work are regulars, including an older couple who comes in every Saturday. The wife is slightly disabled and has a mild facial disfigurement. She has previously complimented me on a certain necklace I wear. Today, I’m not exactly in a good place. While I am washing up, she comes to the side of the shop and calls me.)

    Wife: “I want to see you when you get a moment!”

    (When I go to clean the tables, I walk over to her table.)

    Me: “You wanted to show me something?”

    (The wife hands me a small bag. Inside is an assortment of beautiful gold jewellery with sparkling stones.)

    Me: “Oh, they’re so beautiful! Thank you for showing me these!”

    Wife: “Keep them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Wife: “I bought them for you.”

    Me: “For me? Are you sure?”

    Wife: “Yes, I ordered them for you. Do you like them?”

    Me: “Of course I do… thank you. I’m very touched.”

    Wife: “It’s alright, darling. You’re a beautiful girl, and I want to help you if you need it!”

    (It’s moments like these that remind me there’s still good in the world.)

    With All Douche Respect

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (Note: I am working the express lane in a large department store. Note that we also have a bank branch located inside our store, although this is not where I work.)

    Customer #1: “Give me that ten back in a roll of quarters.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have enough quarters, and even if I did, I’m not allowed to sell rolls of quarters.”

    Customer #1: “Are you kidding me? Is that from you, or your manager?”

    Cashier: “That’s store policy.”

    Customer #1: “That’s f***ing stupid. I’ve been a customer at this store for 27 god*** years and I’ve never had this problem!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I really can’t do that.”

    Customer #1: “Let me talk to your manager, then, because this is f***ing ridicu—”

    (Fed up, another customer who has been waiting behind Customer #1 interrupts him.)

    Customer #2: “Would you stop being such a colossal douche? She says she can’t, and she says it’s policy. It’s not going to change just because you yell at her. If you want to see a manager, go find one and leave her alone. Besides, there’s a BANK fifty feet away from you. Get out of this line! The rest of us have lives!”

    Customer #1: “Listen, lady… stop calling me a douche—”

    Customer #2: “THEN STOP BEING A DOUCHE!”

    Customer #1: *leaves*

    Customer #2: *to the cashier* “Sorry, people are douches!”

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