Category: Awesome Customers

App-ology

| Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

Customer: *to friend* “I wish there were some kind of app that could tell you where stuff is in a specific store.”

Me: “What was it you were looking for?”

Customer’s Friend: “Oh! Soda?”

Me: “Soda’s on aisle 10.”

Customer’s Friend: “Ha, I guess she’s the app!”

Me: “Just call me Siri!”

Customer: *suddenly very sour* “Well, I could, but that would be stupid.”

Me: “Heh, yeah, I guess.”

(I proceeded to go on about my business, and put the exchange out of my mind. A couple weeks later, the same customer comes back.)

Customer: “Hey, last time I was here, you helped me out and I was kind of rude to you. I just wanted to let you know I didn’t even realize it until my friend told me I was being a jacka**, and I’m sorry.”

(I thanked him and told him he was forgiven. If only all rude customers had friends like that!)

Losing English Patience

| OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Math & Science, School

(I work at a sandwich shop across the street from a high school. I serve a lot of teachers who come over here for lunch.)

Me: “You want a turkey on white with tomato? That’s [price].”

Customer #1: “Oh, and can I have a bottle of water?”

Me: “‘Course!”

Customer #1: *scoffs* “I can’t believe you just said that. As an English teacher, I think I should tell you that saying that isn’t proper English.”

Me: *not sure what to say* “Um… sorry?”

Customer #1: “There you go again! Those are fragments, not complete sentences! All the other teachers who come in here would be ashamed.”

(The customer behind her speaks up.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, well, I’m a math teacher, and trust me, we don’t care.”

Eating With The Tongs Of Honesty

| Kent, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Top

(I work in a department store in the kitchenware and electrical department. The shop is famous for its open returns policy; i.e. a customer can pretty much return anything. As I’m in charge of returns, so this is usually a big headache.)

Customer: “Hi, I need this to bring these items in. It’s a bit of long story.”

Me: “Uh sure, is there a fault with them?”

Customer: “Oh no, it’s just that I ordered a pair of cooking tongs from your website, and my receipt just says one. I only get the amount for one debited from my account.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Well, I only wanted one, but I had six sent to me and I called your helpline and they said post it in, but I wanted to bring it in to make sure it gets here.”

Me: “Just so I’ve got this right: you only paid for one, receipted for one, you got six, and you’re bringing the other five back here?”

Customer: “Yup! Do you need to check my order or something?”

Me: “No! Sorry if I seem confused; this just never happens. I’ll take those and we’ll just add them. Thank you for your honesty, and here, have these tokens or some free coffee and cake from one of our cafe bars!”

Customer: “Oh, no! Don’t give me those for being honest; have nice day!”

(I told my line manager what happened. She said it wasn’t uncommon for the wrong amount of items to be sent, but we never usually get honest customers coming back!)

Polly Want A Manner

| Israel | Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

(A man walks in with a parrot sitting on his shoulder.)

Customer: “Hello!”

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: “I would like one bun with sunflower seeds!”

Me: “Here you go.”

(The customer pays and takes the bun. He then takes off the sunflower seeds and feeds them to his parrot.)

Me: *laughing* “Bon appetite!”

Customer: “Thank you!” *to the parrot* “Say thank you!”

Parrot: “Thank you.”

Me: “You’re very welcome!”

((The customer leaves, still feeding the seeds to his parrot. A few minutes later he comes back with the bun, which is now completely seed free.)

Customer: “Do you have a trash can? I don’t need it any more.”

Me: “Ah… sure, give it here.”

Customer: “Very good! Goodbye!” *to the parrot* “Say goodbye to the girl!”

Parrot: “Bye bye!”

(They both leave, having seriously made my day.)

Fuming Over Perfuming

Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers

(A customer enters and I walk around to greet him.)

Me: *wiping my eyes* “Good evening!” *sniffles* “How are you?”

Customer: “Hey don’t cry! Who did it?! Who made you cry?” *he looks around for other customers*

Me: *smiling* “Thanks for your concern, but it’s just my allergies. I’ve had several customers who had on too much cologne or perfume.”

Customer: “Oh, I was worried there for a minute. I thought I was going to have to kick someone’s a** for you!”

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