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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Earmark That Sound Advice

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m doing a sales pitch to my customers, a husband and wife, and they’re really getting interested. We’re going round all the products. There is good banter going on, jokes etc. However, out of nowhere, an old lady barges between them and grabs my ear.)

    Old Lady: “I have been asking you where the toilets are!”

    Me: “Please let go of my ear!”

    Old Lady: “It’s rude to disrespect your elders! Where are the toilets?!”

    Husband: *knocks the old lady’s hand away from my ear*

    Old Lady: *to the man* “You assaulted me!”

    Husband: “You have no case, and I didn’t hear you asking this young lady about the loos. My wife and I have been talking to her for at least ten minutes.”

    Old Lady: “Of course I have a case! You hit me! She saw it!” *points to me*

    Husband: “She has a better case against you for assault.”

    Old Lady: “No she does not!”

    (The husband calmly pulls out a business card and hands it to me.)

    Husband: *to me* “I’ll gladly take her to court for you for free.”

    (Reading the card I see his name, followed by ‘Head of Legal Advice for [company]‘.)

    Me: “Thank you!” *to the old lady* “The loos are down that way on the left; follow the signs.”

    (I am rubbing ear as the old lady walks off, sulking. I turn to the couple.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that.”

    Husband: “No need. Anyway, keep the card, just in case!”

    Setting Mother Straight

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

    (I’m working the cash register when a mom comes through with a teenage daughter in a private school uniform. I’m pretty flamboyantly gay.)

    Me: “Hello today, ladies. Did you find everything you need?”

    Mom: “Just shut up and finish this f**.”

    (I’m used to this kind of abuse, so I continue ringing her up. I notice the daughter roll her eyes at her mother, but doesn’t comment.)

    Me: “And if you could just sign that receipt right there, ma’am.”

    Mom: *snatches receipt* “You should be ashamed of yourself! Acting that way in front of my daughter! Homosexuals are ruining this country! Look at those two over there making out in the middle of the store!”

    (Her rant continues as she points to a young couple walking through the store holding hands. She then goes on to attack the ‘biker chick’ with the tattoo in the next line. I can see her daughter getting angrier, and finally she snaps.)

    Daughter: “Can you please just stop? This guy’s been pretty d*** helpful and probably has better taste in men than you! And those two are freakin’ adorable so leave them alone. You want to hear something really good? I have a boyfriend. We’ve had sex. Oh, and I got a tattoo.”

    (She proceeds to rip up the back of her shirt to reveal a tattoo on her lower back before turning back around to face her mother.)

    Daughter: “And you can’t say anything because I’m an adult just like every other person in this store. So you can take your prejudiced opinions and shove them up your a**. If you want me, I’ll be at Dad’s!” *storms out*

    Makes You Scarlett With Anger

    | PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

    Customer #1: “My god, you look just like Scarlett O’Hara! Have you ever seen Gone With The Wind?”

    Me: *laughing* “Thanks! I actually haven’t seen it, but I want to eventually!”

    Customer #1: “Those blue eyes, and dark hair! You’re a dead ringer, Scarlett!”

    (Customer #1, who is a very petite, elderly woman, continues to refer to me as ‘Scarlett’ for all of her questions, calling me over to wherever she is in the store to evaluate different gift baskets, etc. She’s pretty awesome, and I am happy to oblige. Then, Customer #2 enters the store. He is a tall, broad shouldered, grumpy middle-aged man. I leave Customer #1 to go back behind the register.)

    Customer#2: “Where the **** are the cheese pretzels?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we are out of those until next year. With expansion—”

    Customer#2: “That’s bulls***! I have been coming here every other week for two months, and everyone keeps telling me different times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I was ju-”

    Customer#2: “I think all of you are full of s***!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 comes flying around the corner and up to my register.)

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2* “Do you even know who you are talking to?! Don’t you dare talk to her like that! You should be ashamed of yourself, you great big lout!”

    (Customer #2 clearly was not expecting Customer #1 to yell at him, and sheepishly retreats out of the store but still grumbling.)

    Me: “Wow, I’m so sorry about this whole thing, ma’am. I have got to ask, weren’t you scared? That guy was huge!”

    Customer #1: “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a d*&%!”

    (I cracked up laughing and gave her my discount for getting rid of my troublesome customer!)

    Needs To Adopt A Nicer Outlook

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Religion, Top

    (I am 21, but I look about 16. I am also two weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl, but with my age and the fact that I couldn’t get my act together at the time, I decide to give her up for adoption. I have the family picked, but I decide to make a trip away before I have her. I am sitting down at the library, reading a book.)

    Older Woman: “Good lord, teenagers these days! Thinking they can actually give a baby everything they need. These poor children are going to suffer!”

    (I figure she is talking about me since I am the only pregnant woman around. I stay quiet, but I am getting uncomfortable with what she is saying:)

    Older Woman: “Excuse me miss?” *she taps me on the shoulder*

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Older Woman: “How do you think you can provide for that baby? You only are going to make that child suffer. You should have accepted Christ into your heart.”

    Me: “Listen, ma’am, you have no right to judge me. First, I’m 21, out of high school, and I have my own apartment. Second, you don’t know my story, or you would realize that even though I love my daughter very much, I know I can’t provide for her, so I’ve chosen to give her a better life and will be placing her for adoption with an amazing family. Third, do you not see the cross around my neck? I am very Christian, and I know that god gave me my daughter for a reason, and he gave me her parents for another reason. Now, I do know some young parents, and they are better mothers than I could ever be. Now, if you could please let me get back to my book, I want to have a little bit of a calm time before I go back home, and make the preparations for my daughters’ birth.”

    (The older woman is very shocked and leaves. Another man who has heard what I have said looks at me, leaves for about five minutes, then comes back with a big chocolate chip muffin and a big apple juice, which he sets in front of me.)

    Man: “I saw you come in earlier with the apple juice, and after the crap that woman said, figured you and the baby could use a treat. But your comment about the young mothers that are better mothers than you? You are doing the best thing for your daughter, and you are the best mother I know.”

    (He walked away before I could say anything, but his comments made me cry in the good way. Two weeks later, my daughter was born, and she has the best parents around, and she will have so much support. To that man, thank you for what you said and did.)

    The Good, The Bag, And The Lovely

    , | Kings Lynn, Norfolk, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Holidays

    (I spend about 20 minutes dealing with a middle-aged woman and her elderly mother, sorting out a rather complicated order. Despite my reassurances, they are continuously apologising for taking so long to decide.)

    Me: “Okay then, is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Nope, that’s brilliant; thank you! Have a lovely new year!”

    (The customers leave. About an hour later, the young woman returns and heads straight for my register, looking rather flustered.)

    Customer: “Hi again! I was in here about an hour ago if you remember me?”

    Me: “Oh, yes! Did you enjoy your meal?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but did you happen to come across a black leather handbag in your dining area? My mother left hers here!”

    Me: “Yup! I have it safe under my register for you. I found in just after you left!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you so so much! You’re a life saver!”

    Me: “Not a problem; just doing my job after all. Have a good day!”

    (She walks off and I begin to serve the next customer. I can see her conversing with her mother out of the corner of my eye. She comes over again.)

    Customer: “This is for everything you’ve done for us today, young lady!”

    (She hands me what I thought was a scrap of paper, but is in fact a £20 note.)

    Me: “Thank you ever so much for the gesture, but I cannot accept this!”

    Customer: “No, no, you keep it! That’s for putting up with us today!”

    Me: “I can’t accept this, though! It was a pleasure to serve you, and thank you bu—”

    Customer: “Okay then, call it a New Year present or something! Bye now!”

    Me: “But I ca—”

    (She all but ran out of the store before I could protest further.)


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