Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
    (2,739 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Awesome Customers

    Fuming Over Perfuming

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (A customer enters and I walk around to greet him.)

    Me: *wiping my eyes* “Good evening!” *sniffles* “How are you?”

    Customer: “Hey don’t cry! Who did it?! Who made you cry?” *he looks around for other customers*

    Me: *smiling* “Thanks for your concern, but it’s just my allergies. I’ve had several customers who had on too much cologne or perfume.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was worried there for a minute. I thought I was going to have to kick someone’s a** for you!”

    Branding Is All Smoke & Mirrors

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (The Australian government has recently made it law that all cigarette packages must be plain with no branding or colouring. A lot of people are angry over this and are taking it out on the cashiers.)

    Customer #1: “…and can I get a pack of [brand cigarettes]?”

    Employee: “Sure!”

    (The employee fetches them and leaves them on the counter while she finishes ringing up the customer’s other items.)

    Customer #1: “Hey! I said that I wanted [brand]. What’s this s***?!”

    Employee: “That is [brand]; it’s just a different package.”

    Customer #1: “Don’t you lie to me, you b****!”

    (He then grabs them from the counter and hurls them at her, but they bounce off her and land on the ground. She calmly bends down to pick them up.)

    Me: *to Customer #1* “Hey! What the h***, man?”

    Employee: *turns to me* “It’s okay.” *turns to Customer #1* “Sir, can I show you something?”

    (She gestures for the customer to look at the cigarettes.)

    Employee: “This writing right here says [brand] Optimums, see? And this number right here says 25. So, this is [brand] Optimums 25s, which is what you asked for. Have a nice evening.”

    (He storms out, and the next customer steps up. He’s been fiddling with his basket and looking impatient while the employee was dealing with the first customer.)

    Customer #2: *quietly* “You’re doing a very good job dealing with jerks like that. I’ve never seen such patience and poise in a young woman such as yourself; they are very admirable qualities to have.”

    Employee: *near tears* “Thank you.”

    Customer #2: “Don’t let vicious people get you down. You’re just trying to do your job.”

    (The manager, who had just returned from dealing with Customer #1 outside, overheard this gave Customer #2 his groceries for free for being a decent person!)

    Counting To Eternity

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

    (I am working on the tills, and pretty bored when a transaction equals £12.34.)

    Me: “That is…” *glances at screen* “…ha! One, two, three, four!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Sorry, twelve-thirty four… one, two three, four. It just made me smile.”

    Customer: “Wow! Has this ever happened before? That’s amazing.”

    (As I rarely work the tills, this is actually the first time this has happened to me.)

    Me: “This is the first time. We’ll remember this for the rest of our lives.”

    Customer: “This is an unbreakable bond!”

    Me: “Stronger than marriage, some would say!”

    Customer: “You can’t divorce out of this!”

    Me: “It’s eternal!”

    (By now another customer behind is staring at us like we are mad.)

    Customer: “I’m going to have to tell all my friends about this! Can you sign my receipt?”

    Me: *signs his receipt*

    Customer: *walks away, grinning*

    Stale Popcorn, Fresh Mind

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I’m working at my zoo’s snack shack. I have to clean the popcorn machine a bit before closing, or else I won’t be done by quitting time. This is approved by my supervisor.)

    Woman: “Miss, I need some—oh, did you not make popcorn today?”

    Me: “Well, I cleaned out the machine, but it’s bagged so they can use it for the animals tomorrow.”

    Woman: “Can I still buy it?” *glances at her two very young children* “I’d have come earlier but they weren’t hungry yet. However, they are dead-set on popcorn.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s probably cold. Really cold.”

    Woman: “I don’t care dear. How much? How’s five dollars?”

    Me: “I really think there’s only two dollars with in the bag.”

    Woman: “You get five for being so sweet!”

    (I ring it up as two anyway, and let her put the change in the donation jar since we don’t take tips. The kids happily take the cold popcorn and start chowing down.)

    Woman: “You’re a lifesaver, sweetie! And such good service!”

    (When I take the ‘take-up’ to the gift shop, I see the woman with her kids, still eating the popcorn.)

    Manager: “Good job. She’s really happy. Bought a mess of merchandise to thank us for hiring ‘such a nice girl!’”

    (Both the kids hugged me on my way back out, too!)

    Related:
    Fresh Popcorn, Stale Mind

    Getting Them Back Is True Therapy, Part 2

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

    (We have a regular customer who was diagnosed with breast cancer and had lost all her hair from the Chemo. She is only 17 at the time. Everyone who goes to the shop more than once knows her. I’m a barista who is out the back getting ready for my shift in few minutes. Three very obnoxious customers came in and began to talk very loudly at the end of a mildly long line.)

    Customer #1: “Ugh, why did we have to come to this hipster place? It’s so trashy!”

    Customer #2: “I know! Everyone is so stuck up with their MacBooks and iPads! Like, get a life!”

    Customer #3: “And everyone looks so ugly! Look at that girl in the corner! She has no hair!”

    Customer #2: “That’s because she’s super hipster! She does it for no other reason than because no one else is!”

    Customer #1: “Oh, my God! Ew!”

    (At this point pretty much everyone inside has heard what they’ve said and is looking in the general direction of the trio. Customer #3 seems to notice this and quietens up. Two police officers (both regulars) walk in and join the line behind the three customers. The three customers talk like this for another minute before one deliberately talks loudly enough for the whole place to hear.)

    Customer #1: “Hipsters are stupid! Your head looks retarded; I mean come on, who would want to be bald and ugly like you?!”

    (At this point, the girl in the corner starts to cry a little bit. Everyone around her begins to comfort her, but the barista loses his cool.)

    Barista: “No. You do not talk to her that way! Get out of my store! The three of you! You’re not welcome here! Ever!”

    Customer #1: “I’ve been waiting in line for 10 minutes (more like three) and I’m not leaving without my coffee!”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, we deserve our coffee!”

    (Customer #3 hasn’t said a word since she walked in, and begins to walk out and wait outside for the other two.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #3* “Where are you going?! Don’t wuss out! We need to get our coffee before next class!”

    Barista: “Take your friends advice and, for the last time, leave.”

    Customers #1 & 2: “No!”

    Police Officer #1: “You two have been asked to leave by the gentlemen behind the counter. I suggest you do so.”

    Customer #2: “That hipster can’t make us leave!”

    Customer #1: “We have rights!”

    Police Officer #1: “So does everyone else here and you are violating them. You’ve visibly upset this poor girl who’s going through the toughest time in her life right now.”

    Customer #1: “As if! We go to Uni! We get way more stressed!”

    Police Officer #2: “We’re not here to argue with you. Either leave or you’ll both be arrested for trespassing since you’ve already been asked to leave twice.”

    Customer #1: “You cant f***ing do that! We haven’t done anything wrong and we’re not f***ing leaving until we get our f***ing coffee, you a**hole!”

    Police Officer #2: “That’s it, turn around, hands behind your back.”

    Police Officer #1: “Now.”

    (As the officers try to motion them to turn around, they resist and begin to try and push the officers away. After a bit more fighting, the unruly customers end on the ground, squealing with their hands cuffed. As the officers are radioing in for a car, everyone is comforting the girl in the corner, whose name is Hannah. However, they quickly begin laughing their heads off as Hannah herself is jumping up and down (in the literal sense) in her seat with the biggest smile on her face. Her father later comes in as news spreads and buys everyone a drink. A couple of years later, Hannah has beaten her cancer but remains bald for her own personal reasons. She’s still stops by every few weeks to chat and everyone loves her. Even the two police officers stop by at least once a week. We all refer to that as the day as ‘The Most Awesome Day Ever’.)

    Related:
    Getting Them Back Is True Therapy


    Page 42/77First...4041424344...Last