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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Full Metal Jacket Potatoes

    , | Norway | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Military

    (On my way home from work, a buddy and I are stopping at a fast food joint just outside the military camp/training facility in my town. There is a long line of soldiers, privates, I assume, but also a young civilian lady almost at the front. As we have finally gotten to the front and are waiting for our food, a sergeant comes through the camp gates and walks directly to the front of the line.)

    My Friend: “Excuse me, but I think this young man was first.”

    (He points to the private who was about to place his order when the sergeant, rather rudely, walked in front of him.)

    Sergeant: “No, I think that will be fine. Don’t you think so, [private's name]?”

    Private: “Yes, of course, sir.”

    My Friend: “I don’t. Why do you think you can just go ahead of everyone else?”

    Sergeant: “Because I am their superior officer! Now quit wasting my time.”

    Me: “Ahem. Are you her superior officer too?”

    (I point at the young girl standing a couple places behind him in line.)

    Sergeant: “Well, no…”

    My Friend: “Then get to the back of the line then! Have some common courtesy!”

    (The sergeant walked sheepishly to the back of the line. We went over to our car and made sure to stay and watch until everyone had gotten their food, so he wouldn’t just barge ahead again.)

    App-ology

    | Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    Customer: *to friend* “I wish there were some kind of app that could tell you where stuff is in a specific store.”

    Me: “What was it you were looking for?”

    Customer’s Friend: “Oh! Soda?”

    Me: “Soda’s on aisle 10.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Ha, I guess she’s the app!”

    Me: “Just call me Siri!”

    Customer: *suddenly very sour* “Well, I could, but that would be stupid.”

    Me: “Heh, yeah, I guess.”

    (I proceeded to go on about my business, and put the exchange out of my mind. A couple weeks later, the same customer comes back.)

    Customer: “Hey, last time I was here, you helped me out and I was kind of rude to you. I just wanted to let you know I didn’t even realize it until my friend told me I was being a jacka**, and I’m sorry.”

    (I thanked him and told him he was forgiven. If only all rude customers had friends like that!)

    Losing English Patience

    | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Math & Science, School

    (I work at a sandwich shop across the street from a high school. I serve a lot of teachers who come over here for lunch.)

    Me: “You want a turkey on white with tomato? That’s [price].”

    Customer #1: “Oh, and can I have a bottle of water?”

    Me: “‘Course!”

    Customer #1: *scoffs* “I can’t believe you just said that. As an English teacher, I think I should tell you that saying that isn’t proper English.”

    Me: *not sure what to say* “Um… sorry?”

    Customer #1: “There you go again! Those are fragments, not complete sentences! All the other teachers who come in here would be ashamed.”

    (The customer behind her speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, well, I’m a math teacher, and trust me, we don’t care.”

    Eating With The Tongs Of Honesty

    | Kent, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work in a department store in the kitchenware and electrical department. The shop is famous for its open returns policy; i.e. a customer can pretty much return anything. As I’m in charge of returns, so this is usually a big headache.)

    Customer: “Hi, I need this to bring these items in. It’s a bit of long story.”

    Me: “Uh sure, is there a fault with them?”

    Customer: “Oh no, it’s just that I ordered a pair of cooking tongs from your website, and my receipt just says one. I only get the amount for one debited from my account.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Well, I only wanted one, but I had six sent to me and I called your helpline and they said post it in, but I wanted to bring it in to make sure it gets here.”

    Me: “Just so I’ve got this right: you only paid for one, receipted for one, you got six, and you’re bringing the other five back here?”

    Customer: “Yup! Do you need to check my order or something?”

    Me: “No! Sorry if I seem confused; this just never happens. I’ll take those and we’ll just add them. Thank you for your honesty, and here, have these tokens or some free coffee and cake from one of our cafe bars!”

    Customer: “Oh, no! Don’t give me those for being honest; have nice day!”

    (I told my line manager what happened. She said it wasn’t uncommon for the wrong amount of items to be sent, but we never usually get honest customers coming back!)

    Polly Want A Manner

    | Israel | Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

    (A man walks in with a parrot sitting on his shoulder.)

    Customer: “Hello!”

    Me: “Hi!”

    Customer: “I would like one bun with sunflower seeds!”

    Me: “Here you go.”

    (The customer pays and takes the bun. He then takes off the sunflower seeds and feeds them to his parrot.)

    Me: *laughing* “Bon appetite!”

    Customer: “Thank you!” *to the parrot* “Say thank you!”

    Parrot: “Thank you.”

    Me: “You’re very welcome!”

    ((The customer leaves, still feeding the seeds to his parrot. A few minutes later he comes back with the bun, which is now completely seed free.)

    Customer: “Do you have a trash can? I don’t need it any more.”

    Me: “Ah… sure, give it here.”

    Customer: “Very good! Goodbye!” *to the parrot* “Say goodbye to the girl!”

    Parrot: “Bye bye!”

    (They both leave, having seriously made my day.)


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