Category: Awesome Customers

A Dally Over A Dollar

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I’m in line to check out at an everything-is-a-dollar store. An elderly lady is in front of me, trying to do a return of some fake flowers.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do refunds. We only do exchanges.”

Customer: “But I was told that I could return these if they were the wrong ones!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we don’t even have an option on the register to do that. I could call a manager for you.”

Customer: “Yes, do that.”

(The manager comes over to talk to the woman as the cashier rings me up. The customer, despite that we’re the only customers in the store at the time, is being quite loud.)

Customer: “These are the wrong color! I don’t need them, and I don’t need $11 of anything else in here! I want my money back!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but since everything in here is only a dollar, we do not provide refunds, only exchanges.”

Customer: “But that’s not what I was told! I was told I could get a refund, not that I would have to get something else! That’s false advertising!”

(Meanwhile, the cashier has finished ringing me up and has handed me my receipt.)

Me: *in a low voice so the cashier is the only one who can hear me* “It says it on the receipt.”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “Right here, on the bottom. You have 30 days for an exchange of a product. We do not offer refunds.”

Cashier: *also whispering* “You feel my pain.”

Me: “I used to work in retail. I swear, customers need to pass a reading comprehension test before they try to get around the policies written right on the receipt.”

(At this point, I didn’t notice that the customer had approached behind me while I was talking to the cashier.)

Me: “I swear. Some people think they can get away with anything. It’s $11. Just go buy some candles or batteries or something. You never know when the power will go out. But don’t complain about a return policy that is right there on the receipt in your hand. You have a lovely day, and hopefully that’s the craziest customer you’ll have this month.”

(I turn around to face the customer who’s glaring at me with a bright red face.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Yelling To A Fault

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Technology

Employee: “Hi, this is [Company]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I can’t connect to the Internet. I’ve checked my modem, and I think it’s working. Can you help me?”

Employee: “Let me check your location. Ah. A bolt of lightning hit a transformer in your area and fried the server. It’ll be out of commission for at least a few hours, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Bummer! Okay, thanks.”

Employee: “…That’s it? You’re not going to yell at me?”

Me: “Uh, no. It’s not your fault.”

Employee: “Well, yeah, but that’s never stopped anyone before!”

Pumped For Revenge

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Transportation

(A customer comes to the cash desk:)

Customer: “Pump six.”

Me: “That will be £20.01 please.”

Customer: “Twenty pounds … and a penny! Hah! You win this time pump, but I shall have my revenge.”

(He pays and then walks towards the door, cackling maniacally and waving his fist in the air. As he leaves he shouts:)

Customer: “REVENGE SHALL BE MINE, PUMP SIX. WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!”

Providing A Self-Service Service

| East Sussex, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Technology

(We have two self-service checkouts and three normal registers. Younger customers tend to be fine with the SSC but our elderly customers prefer the manned registers; however, there’s often only two staff in so if there’s a queue then sometimes people who would normally come to a human will switch to the SSC queue. An elderly man switches out of our queue to use a SSC, and immediately starts having issues. The next SSC comes free and a mother starts teaching her daughter how to use it.)

Elderly Man: *puts his basket in the bagging area*

SSC: “Unexpected item in the bagging area. Remove item before continuing.”

Elderly Man: “THESE CHECKOUTS ARE A DISGRACE! They don’t make any sense!”

Mother: “Now, [Daughter], lots of people find these tricky, but if you remember a few things then they’re easy as pie!”

Daughter: “Okay, mummy! What do I do?”

Mother: “Well, put your basket on the left. The left side is just a shelf and the right side has scales which weigh our shopping so it knows we aren’t stealing. The middle bit is the scanner and we have to wave the barcodes at the glass panels there.”

Elderly Man: *picks up his basket and looks to the woman uncertainly*

Mother: “So, [Daughter], remember: leave ’em to the left and roll ’em to the right. You can’t go wrong!”

Daughter: *picks up a tin of beans and rolls it over the scanner glass*

Mother: “Now, hear that beep? That means it scanned it. You can look at the screen if you’re not sure.” *points to where the screen now says ‘beans’*

Elderly Man: *copies*

(It all goes well at both tills for about 30 seconds until…)

Elderly Man: “THESE PEACHES WON’T SCAN. THESE TILLS ARE A JOKE! YOUR PRODUCTS ARE ALL CRAP!”

Mother: *rips the corner off a ready meal barcode whilst her daughter is looking at the elderly man shouting* “Oh, no! Look, [Daughter], we can’t scan this one!”

Daughter: “Should I get another one, mummy?”

Mother: “No, that takes too long, but it’s okay. See that big button that says ‘Finish and Pay’?”

Daughter: “Yes, mummy.”

Mother: “Well, just above that there’s a button that says ‘Item Does Not Scan,’ so if you press that, you can put the numbers from the barcode in by yourself. If I read the numbers out, you can push the buttons.”

Daughter: *does this*

Elderly Man: *copies and then picks up a Danish pastry, and turns it over in his hand looking for a label*

Mother: *notices and picks up her own bakery items* “[Daughter], let’s do these next!”

Daughter: “But these don’t have a label on them!”

Mother: “That’s because we bagged them ourselves, silly! Now there’s two ways we can do this. If we press the ‘bakery’ button we can either select a subcategory like ‘pastries’ or ‘doughnuts,’ or we can press search if we’re not sure what category something goes into.”

Daughter: *puts all their bakery through*

Elderly Man: *copies daughter*

Mother: “Now, then. We’re all done. What button should we press now?”

Daughter: “Finish and pay?”

Mother: “Exactly right. Now, before we pay, mummy needs to scan her [Loyalty Card] so we can have the points for our shopping. Can you press the button for it?”

Daughter: *presses the button*

Elderly Man: *finishes scanning items and stands there looking at the till*

Mother: “Oh hang on, [Daughter]! I want to check if those crisps came up as ‘buy one get one free.'”

Daughter: “How can we check?”

Mother: “Well, the tills take the offers off at the end, so if you press ‘go back’ we can look at the bottom of the screen to check the offers. If it’s all good then we can just PRESS THE BIG FINISH AND PAY BUTTON ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER OF THE SCREEN.”

Daughter: *goes back to look if the offers have come off and then presses back to the payment screen*

Elderly Man: *presses ‘Finish And Pay’*

Mother: “Good, so now we just need to put the money in. Remember to check the notes are unfolded and that the corners aren’t bent. You can drop coins in this hole.”

Daughter: *pays*

Elderly Man: *copies*

Mother: “Right, [Daughter], our receipt comes out here, next to the scanner. Once it’s printed we can leave.”

Elderly Man: *snatches receipt and stalks off*

Manager: “Excuse me, miss? You forgot to take this!” *hands her a MASSIVE box of chocolates*

Mother: “Oh, I couldn’t!”

Manager: “No, please. That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I wish all our customers were like you!”

She’s The Belle Of The Ball

| OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I work at a place with an indoor kid’s gym. One of the things I have to do to close includes picking up the foam balls in the area, which takes a while. I start about a half-hour before closing, even though there’s still a family inside. The oldest daughter, who looks about seven, comes over.)

Girl: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “Oh, I’m starting to clean up. We have to round up all the balls and put them in a bag.”

Girl: “Oh, can I help?”

Me: “Uhm, sure!”

(She helped with almost half of the balls, before she had to leave. I kept smiling, even after she left.)

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