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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Very Front Loaded

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

    (I stop in to my local superstore to pick up some dog treats. I decide to grab a soda for myself from the cooler. Just before I place my items on the counter, a man comes up to the line and starts talking to me.)

    Customer: “Hey! Can I go in front of you?”

    (I look at his full cart, and then at the two items in my hand.)

    Customer: “I mean, since I have so much less stuff than you, it’ll just be much faster.”

    (Again, I look at his full cart and at the TWO items in my hands. I pause for 30 seconds not fully understanding what’s going on before I finally respond. He seems kind of agitated and since I’m not in a hurry, and don’t want to cause an incident, I let him go in front of me.)

    Me: “Sure, go ahead…”

    (A few minutes later he’s finally done and I place my items on the counter. My total comes up to less than five bucks and I go to pay when I’m stopped by a woman who was in line behind both me and the man from earlier.)

    Customer #2: “Please, let me pay for these.”

    (I’m a bit shocked, and immediately protest, but the cashier cuts me off.)

    Cashier: “Kid, I’m not letting you pay. That idiot insisted on skipping you, even though you CLEARLY have less items than he did, and you didn’t make any fuss about it. You deserve much more than just this. It’s people like you that make this soul sucking worthless job bearable.”

    Not Just Coffee That Is Perky

    | London, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a barista while my coworker is on the till. It is the lunch rush and we have a queue of about 15 people. We have been working nonstop for several hours and so are running out of supplies and mugs. I am currently finishing an order for a lady—Customer #1—and preparing to make drinks for the next elderly gentleman—Customer #2.)

    Customer #2: *loudly* “I can’t believe how slow this service is! It’s absolutely ridiculous! I’ve only come in here for a cup of coffee!”

    (He continues to moan in this manner. I set up the saucers and cutlery for Customer #1.)

    Customer #1: *HUGE smile on her face* “Look how hard these girls are working! They are working nonstop! How long are you here until young lady?”

    Me: “6 pm.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, dear! That’s quite late!”

    Me: “It’s alright, really. Today hasn’t been so hectic.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you girls really do work hard. It’s to be commended!”

    Me: “Thank you very much! Enjoy your drinks and have a nice day!”

    (I move on to Customer #2, who by this point has shut up and is looking at the floor. I make his drinks and finish his order and he doesn’t say a word. That lady really perked me up for the rest of my day and it’s nice to see my work is appreciated by some! Thank you!)

    Earmark That Sound Advice

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m doing a sales pitch to my customers, a husband and wife, and they’re really getting interested. We’re going round all the products. There is good banter going on, jokes etc. However, out of nowhere, an old lady barges between them and grabs my ear.)

    Old Lady: “I have been asking you where the toilets are!”

    Me: “Please let go of my ear!”

    Old Lady: “It’s rude to disrespect your elders! Where are the toilets?!”

    Husband: *knocks the old lady’s hand away from my ear*

    Old Lady: *to the man* “You assaulted me!”

    Husband: “You have no case, and I didn’t hear you asking this young lady about the loos. My wife and I have been talking to her for at least ten minutes.”

    Old Lady: “Of course I have a case! You hit me! She saw it!” *points to me*

    Husband: “She has a better case against you for assault.”

    Old Lady: “No she does not!”

    (The husband calmly pulls out a business card and hands it to me.)

    Husband: *to me* “I’ll gladly take her to court for you for free.”

    (Reading the card I see his name, followed by ‘Head of Legal Advice for [company]‘.)

    Me: “Thank you!” *to the old lady* “The loos are down that way on the left; follow the signs.”

    (I am rubbing ear as the old lady walks off, sulking. I turn to the couple.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that.”

    Husband: “No need. Anyway, keep the card, just in case!”

    Setting Mother Straight

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

    (I’m working the cash register when a mom comes through with a teenage daughter in a private school uniform. I’m pretty flamboyantly gay.)

    Me: “Hello today, ladies. Did you find everything you need?”

    Mom: “Just shut up and finish this f**.”

    (I’m used to this kind of abuse, so I continue ringing her up. I notice the daughter roll her eyes at her mother, but doesn’t comment.)

    Me: “And if you could just sign that receipt right there, ma’am.”

    Mom: *snatches receipt* “You should be ashamed of yourself! Acting that way in front of my daughter! Homosexuals are ruining this country! Look at those two over there making out in the middle of the store!”

    (Her rant continues as she points to a young couple walking through the store holding hands. She then goes on to attack the ‘biker chick’ with the tattoo in the next line. I can see her daughter getting angrier, and finally she snaps.)

    Daughter: “Can you please just stop? This guy’s been pretty d*** helpful and probably has better taste in men than you! And those two are freakin’ adorable so leave them alone. You want to hear something really good? I have a boyfriend. We’ve had sex. Oh, and I got a tattoo.”

    (She proceeds to rip up the back of her shirt to reveal a tattoo on her lower back before turning back around to face her mother.)

    Daughter: “And you can’t say anything because I’m an adult just like every other person in this store. So you can take your prejudiced opinions and shove them up your a**. If you want me, I’ll be at Dad’s!” *storms out*

    Makes You Scarlett With Anger

    | PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Top

    Customer #1: “My god, you look just like Scarlett O’Hara! Have you ever seen Gone With The Wind?”

    Me: *laughing* “Thanks! I actually haven’t seen it, but I want to eventually!”

    Customer #1: “Those blue eyes, and dark hair! You’re a dead ringer, Scarlett!”

    (Customer #1, who is a very petite, elderly woman, continues to refer to me as ‘Scarlett’ for all of her questions, calling me over to wherever she is in the store to evaluate different gift baskets, etc. She’s pretty awesome, and I am happy to oblige. Then, Customer #2 enters the store. He is a tall, broad shouldered, grumpy middle-aged man. I leave Customer #1 to go back behind the register.)

    Customer#2: “Where the **** are the cheese pretzels?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we are out of those until next year. With expansion—”

    Customer#2: “That’s bulls***! I have been coming here every other week for two months, and everyone keeps telling me different times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I was ju-”

    Customer#2: “I think all of you are full of s***!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 comes flying around the corner and up to my register.)

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2* “Do you even know who you are talking to?! Don’t you dare talk to her like that! You should be ashamed of yourself, you great big lout!”

    (Customer #2 clearly was not expecting Customer #1 to yell at him, and sheepishly retreats out of the store but still grumbling.)

    Me: “Wow, I’m so sorry about this whole thing, ma’am. I have got to ask, weren’t you scared? That guy was huge!”

    Customer #1: “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a d*&%!”

    (I cracked up laughing and gave her my discount for getting rid of my troublesome customer!)


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