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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,147 thumbs up)
  • Category: Awesome Customers

    Caught On Con-did Camera

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working as a ride attendant for a theme park roller coaster.)

    Me: *over the intercom* “Once the gates have opened completely, you may make your way to the farthest available seat. Please make sure to secure all personal belongings and fasten your seat belt securely.”

    (Two men approach me from the loading gates, one of whom is in a wheelchair.)

    Disabled Guest: “Hey, buddy. You think you could help my friend get me into the seat there?”

    Me: “Uh, sure, I could do that.”

    (His friend wheels him over to the end of a row of seats and puts the brake on his chair.)

    Me: “What do you need me to do?”

    Friend: “You get his feet, I’ll get him from the back.”

    Disabled Guest: “Thanks again.”

    (The disabled guest raises his arms and his friend grabs him around the chest while I lift his feet off the ground and we sidle over to the train car. Suddenly the disabled guest twists his upper body violently and his friend drops him on his rear end.)

    Disabled Guest: “OH, GOD!”

    Friend: “What the f*** did you just do?!”"

    Me: *terrified* “What?”

    Disabled Guest: “F***, s***, f***! I think my back is busted!”

    Friend: *pointing at me, looking all around* “You all saw him! He dropped my buddy on purpose! That’s first-degree assault!”

    Me: “But I didn’t do anything!”

    Disabled Guest: *still pretending to be in pain* “Somebody call an ambulance! Somebody call a lawyer! Call the cops!”

    Friend: *stomping over to stand one inch from me* “You think just ’cause my buddy’s in a wheelchair you can do whatever you f****** want to him? We’re gonna sue the s*** out of your f****** a**!”

    (He shoves me with both hands, but then the guy in the end seat in the row behind the one we were trying to sit the disabled man in yells at them and points his camera phone at them.)

    Camera Guy: “Hey! You leave him alone! I saw what you did! You tried to set him up! He didn’t drop your friend, you did!”

    (The disabledguest, still lying on the ground, abruptly stops yelling in pain.)

    Friend: “F*** you, f**! You can’t prove anything!”

    Camera Guy: “Oh yeah? I got the whole thing on video!” *he waves his phone at them*

    Friend: “Give me that f****** phone!”

    (The disabled guest’s friend lunges for the phone but the other man quickly hands it to his wife two seats over. The friend hits his head on the side of the train car and his extended hand scratches the camera man’s neck.)

    Disabled Guest: “[Friend's name], get the f****** phone, you retard!”

    (The charade begins to fall apart as his friend staggers and clutches his head, which is now bleeding.)

    Friend: *staggering and clutching his head, which is now bleeding* “F*** you!”

    Camera Guy: “Somebody call security! These guys are con artists! I got it all on tape!”

    (I dash around the disabled guest, having to jump as he tries to grab me by the legs, and run back to the intercom.)

    Me: “Security to [roller coaster] loading platform, emergency!”

    (Three security guards armed with night sticks and mace show up only a few seconds later and have to drag the disabled man’s friend away as he was trading kicks with the camera guy and the camera guy’s wife. The camera couple and the two men are both taken to the nearest emergency station, and security makes me go with them. A park official shows up about half an hour later to take statements from everyone involved separately. After I give my statement, I wait alone in a waiting room for some time before a park doctor comes in and tells me the camera couple wants to talk to me. I’m led into their room.)

    Camera Guy: “Hey, I wanted you to know I saw everything that happened. If that guy tries any legal s*** against you, I’ll be a witness.”

    Me: “That would be great of you. I just… I don’t know what’s going on.”

    Camera Guy’s Wife: “This place is full of cheaters and liars; that’s what’s going on.”

    Camera Guy: “D*** right, honey.”

    (The park official walks in again.)

    Camera Guy: “You don’t believe that jacka**’s story, do you?” *points to me* “This guy didn’t do anything wrong. I caught it all on video with my phone if you need proof.”

    Park Official: “That won’t be necessary, sir. We have security cameras all over the park. We saw what those men did.”

    (The two men were banned from the park and the able-bodied one was charged with assault on the camera guy and his wife, who were given a refund on their admission, four additional one-day tickets, vouchers for free meals at any restaurant in the park, and two huge stuffed animals for their kids, all free.)

    Long Shifts Can Make You Crackers

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am fairly new at running the fitting room, which consists of answering the phone and unlocking the fitting room doors so people can try on clothes. Today has been particularly stressful as all five lines are ringing, and I have a crowd waiting to try things on. Finally, I get the phones answered and people into the rooms. One woman is waiting for her husband to try on pants.)

    Wife: “Long day?”

    Me: “Yeah, this is the first time I’ve been alone on the phones at a busy time.”

    Wife: “You look a little pale and shaky. Are you feeling okay?”

    Me: “I forgot to eat before I came in. When my coworker gets back I get to go on break, though.”

    Wife: “Want me to buy you a pack of crackers or something?”

    Me: *stunned* “Oh, it’s fine! Thank you so much, but I’m okay!”

    (She continues to offer while I decline. Her husband makes the same offer when he comes out, having heard the conversation. I decline again as my coworker comes back. I bought myself something to eat, but I was so touched by their generosity!)

    Treat Them Well And You Get Treated

    | Long Beach, CA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (My sister and I start unloading our cart. When the cashier and young bag boy see her they put on big smiles.)

    Cashier: “Hey! It’s our favorite customer!”

    (The bagger looks at us and smiles big.)

    Bagger: “Your sister is my hero!”

    (My sister blushes and I raise my eyebrows at her.)

    Cashier: “On his first day, an older customer came in and gave him a hard time…”

    Bagger: “…A really hard time. Calling him stupid and an idiot, ‘Kids these days’. You guys know the drill.”

    Cashier: “Unfortunately, we aren’t allowed to say anything. Then he dumped all of the bags out and yelled at me to do it again.”

    Bagger: “So your sister yelled, ‘Hey, you don’t treat people like that!’”

    Sister: “He turned around ready to yell at me, saw I was in a wheelchair and shut his mouth. It was awesome!”

    Cashier: “So, she’s our favorite customer now.”

    Me: “Holy crap, that is awesome!”

    (The employees were always super helpful and nice before, but after that, they REALLY went out of their way to help us.)

    Small Change Can Make The Difference

    | Boston, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (During the month of February, my clinic has a special where our rabies vaccine is a much lower price than we would normally have it. I have just dealt with an extremely rude customer, and am prepared for the worst.)

    Me: “Hello again, sir. Was there a problem with anything?”

    Customer: “Did I get a three-year rabies vaccine?”

    Me: “Yup, you did, sir. It shows how long it’s good for right there.”

    (I show him the paperwork.)

    Customer: “Okay, so… Why did you only charge me $8?”

    (The customer pulls his change out of his pocket.)

    Me: “Oh, that’s because this month we have a discount!”

    Customer: “What? Really? That explains why it’s so busy. I was ready to give you back the change you gave me. Thanks!”

    (I had to tell everyone I was working with what happened. To this day, thinking about him during a rough shift brings a smile to my face.)

    Tip Of The Entree Iceberg

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)

    Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”

    Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”

    Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”

    Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”

    (I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)

    Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”

    (He turns to his blonde companion.)

    Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way, potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”

    (With that, he left the restaurant without his date. It made the whole night worth it, to see that blonde man speechless for once.)

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