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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Taiwannical Behavior

    | Taiwan | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Language & Words

    (I’m browsing in a bookstore in Taiwan, when I notice two Caucasian customers looking in the Young Teenage Girls section and laughing.)

    Customer: *to his friend, in English* “Watch this.”

    (He grabs a random book and hands it to an employee.)

    Employee: *in somewhat broken English* “Can… I… help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I should like that you would exemplify the thesis behind the philosophies illustrated in this literature.”

    (I’m looking at them now, rolling my eyes, but the pair are having a good time of it and don’t notice me. The employee is very confused and mutters in English as best he can.)

    Employee: “Eh… uhh… sorry?”

    Man: *gesturing as he speaks* “You. Need to. Exemplify. The. Theories. Of the. Thesis. As manifest. In this literature.”

    (It’s obvious the customer has no idea what he himself is saying, and is just having a laugh at the employee’s expense. The other guy with him has a wide grin on his face like he’s thoroughly enjoying the exchange. I’ve had enough, so I go to the employee, take the book out of his hands, turn to the synopsis given on the back cover and turn to the two guys.)

    Me: *in perfect English* “A girl’s parents have just divorced and the father moves her to a new school. She’s having difficulty adjusting to a new environment and life as a young woman and the changes to her body as he matures. Because she’s new, she’s having a difficult time telling anyone about it and doesn’t know how to tell her father about the various changes she is experiencing with her body. She falls for a popular boy, but she’s new and awkward and nobody likes her. Eventually, she contemplates suicide.”

    (The two customers are staring at me like I’ve got ten heads. I decide to rub it in a little further.)

    Me: “What the h*** is this? You managed to find the girliest book in here!”

    Customer: *opens his mouth, as if to say something*

    Me: “Where’re you from?”

    Man: “Uh, uh, uh, uh… CANADA!”

    (Embarrassed, he and his friend dash out of the store.)

    Me: *to the employee in Mandarin* “They were just screwing with you. There’s only one thing you need to know in English if something like that ever happens again: you tell them:” *in English* “F*** off!”

    It’s Not Easy Being Green

    , | Australia | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I’m taking orders and cashing cars at a well known fast food chain drive-thru. I’m having a really bad day. It’s the holidays, and in general all of the customers are being really rude and indecisive, while I’m still trying to be polite and smile. An old man has just placed his order and is approaching my window. I’m a female with green eyes.)

    Me: *giving the best smile I can manage* “Hi, sir! How are you today?”

    Old man: “Oh, my goodness! You’re just as beautiful as your voice sounds!”

    Me: *blushes* “Th-Thank you, sir.”

    (I finish cashing him and I hand out his change.)

    Old man: “And your eyes are so green! They’re beautiful! Have a lovely afternoon Sweetheart!”

    Me: “You too, sir! Thank you!”

    (The nice old man drives off. He made my day! It’s people like him that give me faith in humanity.)

    In Need Of A Reality Check

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work retail as a cashier. I’m serving a couple that looks to be between 25 and 30, while behind them is a smiling old man with a cane no younger than 80. All of them are followed by a line that just keeps getting longer. The couple has handed me a check to pay for their goods, and this is a lengthy process. I’m half-way through the transaction when they get impatient.)

    Female customer: “Look, I don’t have all day.”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am, but this is the process I have to take for all checks. Unfortunately, it takes a while.”

    Male customer: *tapping his fingers on the desk* “Can you just hurry up? Geez! Keeping these people waiting!”

    (By this point my line is 10 people deep, and I’m beginning to get a bit stressed. The couple is still trying to hurry me along, but I’m going as fast as I can. Finally, I finish and hand them their receipt.)

    Male customer: “Finally! That only took all day! Maybe if you weren’t so slow we’d have been out of here by now!”

    (Suddenly, the elderly man behind them pipes up.)

    Elderly customer: “I didn’t know they still let you pay by check!”

    Me: “They do, but unfortunately it’s a lengthy process.”

    (The elderly customer continues to speak loudly, within earshot of the couple I just served.)*

    Elderly customer: “Hmph! Sounds to me some people just need to get with the 21st Century!”

    Young couple: *glares at elderly customer*

    Elderly customer: *waves and smiles*

    A Knowing Personality

    | Miami, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

    (I’m showing a couple our knife sets demonstrating the difference between each brand.)

    Me: “So, if you happen to be a rocker, that is someone who keeps a part of the blade in contact with the cutting board at all times, then you’ll want this type. If, however, you’re a chopper, who lifts the blade completely off the board, then you might find these a better fit since they have a shallower curve on the blade.”

    Lady: “Right, well actually he-” *points to her companion* “-is the one who’s going to be using them, so why don’t I leave you two to it, and look for the rest of the stuff on my list?”

    Man: “Sounds good.” *turns to me* “Hey, you got anything heavier? I like putting power into my chopping.”

    (I show him several additional knives, speaking about the differences in handle shapes and steel grade when he interrupts me.)

    Man: “Oh, and you do know that if these knives turn out to be cheap sh**, I’m going to have to come back here and have some very stern words with you.”

    Me: *taken aback* “Sir, these are made to the highest specifications of German craftsmanship. Says so right there on the blade.” *I gesture to the ‘Made In Germany’ stamp* “The ones in the cabinet next to me come from Japan, and are made using the same ore and techniques as samurai swords. If you’re going to honestly come back and tell me steel of this caliber is, to use your own words, cheap s***, then I have only three words to say to you: bring it on!”

    (The man stares at me, looking not so much offended as bemused. He then proceeds to tip his hat to me in respect.)

    Man: “I see you clearly do know your stuff. Please forgive me for doubting you.” *looks around for his girlfriend* “Are you as knowledgeable about the other products in this store?”

    Me: “Every one of them.”

    (He spies his girlfriend who’s speaking to another associate.)

    Man: “Honey come back here, we’re going with this guy! He’s got the know, and the personality!”

    (They proceed to do their entire order with me, and the man even insists on shaking my hand afterward saying he’s glad to have found someone with confidence in what they sell. Definitely among my best customers ever!)

    Respect Is Learned Before It Is Earned

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Top, Transportation

    (I am a teenage passenger on a public bus and there is an older gentleman talking so loudly on his cell phone that he’s drowning out my music player. I talk to the driver, who’s clearly just as annoyed by the man as the rest of us are.)

    Me: “He’s being really loud. Is there anything you can do about it?”

    Driver: “I would, but I’ve already been written up twice this week because rude customers complained about me telling them off; one more and I lose my job. I can’t take the chance.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem…”

    (I go over and stand in front of the rude passenger who’s still on his phone.)

    Rude Passenger: *to his phone* “…KIDS ARE SO RUDE THESE DAYS! THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEIR ELDERS!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir.”

    (He ignores me and keeps talking. I decide enough is enough, and snatch the phone from him and turn it off before handing it back to him.)

    Me: “First off, it’s rude to ignore someone when they address you. Second, it’s really disrespectful to be so loud in a public space; I couldn’t even hear my music over your griping. Maybe you wouldn’t have so much to complain about if you set a better example.”

    (He was quiet the entire rest of the trip, and the driver gave me a free all-day pass!)


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