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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 5

    | Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    Me: *to a customer that has just walked in* “Hi, there! Go ahead and sit anywhere you like!”

    Customer: “Can we sit outside?”

    Me: “That certainly qualifies!”

    Related:
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

    Counting And Discounting

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

    Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

    Kid: “$39.90!”

    Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

    Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

    Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

    (The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

    Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

    Mother: “You can do it!”

    (By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

    Kid: “$26.93!”

    Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

    Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

    (After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

    Dislocated Their Brain

    | ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m the dumb customer in this one. My family and I are at a hardware store, and have discovered that they don’t have any more of the item we want. The salesperson is looking up if any other stores in the area have it.)

    Salesperson: “So [Location #1] has two, [Location #2] has six, and [Location #3] has sixteen.”

    Me: “What about [Location #4]?”

    Salesperson: “Um… that’s the location you’re in right now.”

    Mom: *to me* “Long day, honey?”

    Weird And Weirder

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    (I am buying ‘Keep Off the Grass’ signs for my lawn. I am usually very socially awkward but I love talking to associates. I am currently talking to one about the signs.)

    Me: “We live on the corner of two streets so people walk through our yard all the time. I wouldn’t mind except they throw their trash on the ground. I even caught a moving guy doing it. I don’t want to be rude, but I have no choice.”

    Employee: “Yeah.”

    Me: “It’s not like they are going to abide by the signs. I might have to sit on my porch and watch for a few hours.” *jokingly* “Maybe follow them home and throw it on their lawn.”

    Employee: *laughs* “Yeah, you should.”

    (Suddenly a customer comes up to both of us talking about drug deals on her lawn and AK47s. We smile and nod, hoping she will go away. Once she does, we look at each other.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’m usually the weird customer, but somehow I attract even weirder…”

    His Humor Is A Bit Rusty

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, One-Liners

    (A patient arrives at the reception desk with some paperwork.)

    Patient: “So, what do I do with this?”

    Me: “This is for some bloodwork. You need to take it to the lab, but you need to have been fasting. That means you can’t eat or drink anything but water for 12 hours before you get your blood drawn.”

    Patient: “Oh, I never drink water. It makes me rust!”

    (The patient then walks away like a robot going ‘squeak, squeak.’ Thank you, sir, for making me laugh! I’d had a crazy day and really needed it!)


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