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    Category: Awesome Customers

    A Sign That It Will Be OK

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I’ve just gotten off a really long, rough shift and decide to treat myself with some ice cream from a shop that’s just opened for the season. I order a small cone and hold out my debit card for the cashier to take while checking my phone.)

    Cashier: “Oh. Um… I’m sorry, but we don’t accept cards.”

    Me: *looking up* “Oh, really?”

    (As I look up, I see just above the cashier’s head a 2x3ft neon pink sign with large, bold letters that say, “No cards accepted. Sorry for any inconvenience”. I glance around and see no less than three more large, bright signs all saying some variation of the pink one.)

    Me: *laughing* “Oh, my god, I am so sorry. I’ve always sworn to myself I wouldn’t be one of THOSE customers, you know? Ah, golly, here, lemme run to my car and get some cash. I’m so sorry.”

    (After I pay, the girl hands me a medium cone. I’m about to go back to the counter and tell her she gave me a larger size than I wanted when I see some writing on the napkin wrapped around the cone.)

    Note On Napkin: “Thank you for not being one of THOSE customers! Here’s to summer. Hope to see you again!”

    The Answer Rings True

    | Hamlin, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s late at night, probably an hour after our normal closing time, and our phone rings.)

    Employee: “Hello, [Name] Pizza.”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to place an order?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, we’ve been closed for about an hour.”

    Caller:  *annoyed tone* “Well, why did you answer the phone, then?”

    Employee: “…because it rang?”

    (The caller burst into laughter and proclaimed that was the best answer he’d ever heard.)

    Must Go To A Happy-Apping Church

    | UT, USA | Awesome Customers, Religion, Technology, Top

    (I work for a large, nationwide cellphone retailer in their customer service call center. I’m trying to assist a customer with troubleshooting her smartphone which is doing a number of odd things.)

    Customer: “The screen freezes, applications crash, it’s going slow, and calls drop. Once the screen goes into sleep mode on a call I can’t get it to come back up, but then I can’t get it to automatically go into sleep mode otherwise. Someone else has to hang up otherwise the phone will just keep going on the call. On top of all that, the camera. OH, THE CAMERA! It will randomly take pictures! I don’t even have to have the camera up! The flash will go off and a picture appears on the screen!”

    Me: “Wow… sounds like you need a priest, not a technician.”

    Customer: *without skipping a beat* “THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE!”

    Me: “Thank you… That made my night.”

    The True Appliance Of Science

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Awesome Customers, Math & Science, Top

    (I volunteer at a children’s museum in their dinosaur area, where I work in the lab. We work behind a glass window that we keep open so the kids can ask us questions about the bones we are cleaning.)

    Every Kid: *completely ignoring me* “Wow! A real dinosaur bone!”

    One Awesome Kid: *staring directly at me* “Wow! A real scientist!”

    An Off-Color Purchase

    | Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

    Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

    Me: “What do you typically like?”

    Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

    (I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

    Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”

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