Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,151 thumbs up)
  • Category: Awesome Customers

    Bad Jokes Make A Good Customer

    | KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    Me: “Keep in mind, sir, these items are a three day return!”

    Customer: “Well I don’t think I will wait three days in line just to return some shirts.”

    Me: “Haha, very clever, sir. However do not worry; I wouldn’t make you wait three days. But if they don’t fit right when you get home, bring them back to me within three days so we can get you a refund.”

    Customer: “And you know what? I was eating at a fast food joint the other day. I noticed on the door in the bathroom it said that employees must wash hands. So I stood there and stood there, and no employee ever came in to wash my hands. I really didn’t think it was good service.”

    Me: “Thank you, sir; that made my day.”

    Not All Customers Are Sick

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

    (A customer comes up to my counter.)

    Customer: “I have a fascinating offer to make you.”

    Me: “Uh-oh?”

    Customer: “If you let me use some cleaners, and give me a free water from the fountain, I’ll clean up the mess I just made throwing up all over your bathroom.”

    Me: “Oh… Well, the fountain drinks don’t have water, but I’ll get you some. [Coworker] over there is actually cleaning the men’s room right now, so you can talk to him.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s alright.”

    (She does indeed borrow some cleaning spray and some towels, and disappears into the women’s restroom for a few minutes. My coworker approaches.)

    Coworker: “What was that all about?”

    Me: “She didn’t say?”

    Coworker: “She just said you said it was okay to borrow the cleaning supplies.”

    Me: “Oh. She said she threw up and wanted to clean it up.”

    Coworker: “Really?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    (She comes back out at the end of this conversation.)

    Customer: “Again, I’m really, really sorry.”

    Me: “Most other customers would have just left it there and not even told us. You told us, apologized, and helped us clean it. You can come in here and throw up every night for all I care. Hope you feel better!”

    Paying It Forward

    | QC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work as a secretary in a community center where children can attend day camps. They also have to pay in advance if they want to attend a special activity outside of the city. A mother calls.)

    Me: “Community Center, how may I help you?”

    Mother: “Hi! I know this must be difficult to do, since you have a lot to do with all the day camps, but I have a request.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Mother: “Well, my daughter was registered for the activity that will be Friday on next week. I have already paid, but she won’t be able to go because we’re on vacation that week. I would like you to transfer her reservation to another child please.”

    (I think that she wants to get her money back, like most of parents when they call.)

    Me: “So you are asking me to give you back your money for this activity?”

    Mother: “No, no! Of course not! I know it’s a bit complicated, but I would like you to transfer the reservation to another child that would like to go there, but doesn’t have the money for it.”

    Me: “Oh, wow! Now I understand, and it’s very kind of you! May I have your name, your daughter’s name and your phone number so I can call you back—”

    Mother: “Oh! I don’t need you to call me back; just to know another kid will be happy makes me happy! But my daughter’s name is [name], so you can remove the activity in her file. Thank you very much for doing this!”

    Have Your Cake And Eat It

    | Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the counter at a bakery. An older customer comes up to order.)

    Customer: “Hi, can I get a chocolate croissant and red velvet cupcake please?”

    Me: “Oh, good choices! The red velvet cupcake is my favorite. I was actually going to get one on my break.”

    (I go to grab his order, and realize there’s only one cupcake left.)

    Me: “Lucky you, you got the last one!”

    Customer: “Oh… are you sure you don’t want it? I can get something else.”

    Me: “It’s okay, sir; that’s just the luck of the draw I guess.”

    (He reluctantly accepts. Once he pays for his food, he takes the cupcake and puts in on the counter.)

    Customer: “For you, my dear.”

    Me: “What? No sir, it’s really okay. I can always get one tomorrow!”

    Customer: “Well, I’m leaving it on the counter and walking away. What you do with it is up to you. Have a good day!”

    (True to his word, he leaves the store. I have to say it was the best cupcake I ever had!)

    Future Technology

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Technology

    Me: “Hi, my name is [name]; thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’m calling because my internet is, uh, working… again. Huh.”

    Me: “Well, I am prescient. I do usually try fix the problems before people call, but I am running behind today.”

    Customer: “Dude, that’s awesome. Keep it up.”

    (Later, we get an email about how “the tech who can see the future” should get a raise.)

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