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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Reading The Smoke Signal Loud And Clear

    | Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I’m working third-shift in a quiet part of town, when a car pulls up, a man steps out, walks in, and comes up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Pack of Marlboro Reds.”

    Me: “Sure thing. May I see your ID?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Your ID. I need to see it before I can sell you cigarettes.”

    Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

    Me: “…no, sir. I need to see ID before I can sell you cigarettes.”

    Customer: “Look, I know this is a s***ty little town, but in a real city like Cleveland, they don’t ask people older than 18 for ID for just cigarettes.”

    Me: “Sir, I doubt that. I’m abiding by state law, and that applies in Cleveland, too.”

    Customer: “Just give me the smokes!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t do that without ID.”

    Customer: “You know what? You’re just some dumba** kid who works a s***ty job, and you’ll never amount to anything because you live in this piece of s*** town. If you had a real job or weren’t a total loser, you wouldn’t be such a piece of s*** about this. You won’t ever be anything in life, you f***.”

    Me: “That might be true, but, you know what I can do that you can’t?”

    Customer: “WHAT?”

    (I turn, grab a pack of my brand of cigarettes off the shelf, scan them, pull out my wallet, swipe my card, grab my receipt, open the pack, and slide a cigarette behind my ear, before pocketing the smokes and receipt.)

    Me: “I can buy cigarettes here.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU!”

    (He turns and storms out.)

    Me: “Have a great mornin’!”

    The Kind Of Customer We Want

    , | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I pull in to a local fast food drive-thru.)

    Clerk: *through the speaker* “Hello and thanks for choosing [Company]. What will it be today?”

    Me: *I’ve already decided, so I give my order with no hesitation* “I’ll have [order] with a [drink].”

    Clerk: *playfully with a sassy tone* “All right! A man who knows what he wants.”

    (We finish the order process. I pull around and wait my turn, several cars deep, before I finally get to the window.)

    Clerk: “Hey! It’s the man who knows what he wants.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’ve changed my mind.”

    Clerk: “Noooooooooo….”

    Guardians Of The Service Staff

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It is about two weeks after ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ has hit theaters. I’ve wanted to see it but haven’t had a chance. A customer comes through my line with a shirt picturing the characters from the movie.)

    Me: *grins* “I like your shirt!”

    Customer: “Yeah! Have you seen it yet?”

    Me: “No, I haven’t had a chance to go yet.”

    Customer: “Go see it right now.”

    Me: *laughs* “I’ll get right on that.”

    Customer: “No, seriously. Close your lane, leave work right now, and go see that movie.”

    Me: *more laughing* “I really wish I could! I’ll see it first chance I get.”

    Customer: “Hey, the customer is always right, right? Tell your boss that the customer said you have to leave and go see a movie!”

    Me: *my coworkers start laughing, too* “I really don’t think that would go over well.”

    (I processed his transaction and handed him his receipt, and as he was leaving he told me again that I should really go see it. That customer made my night.)

    Turns Out Not To Be Sweet Nothings

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am working the register, and it has been a bit slow. A man approaches with two shirts. I ask him all the usual questions, like if he found everything and if he’d like to sign up for our rewards card, and we get to the total.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is $27.94.”

    Customer: *looking at the candies by the counter* “Hmm, chocolate covered blueberries?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ve had something like those before. They were weird, but pretty cool. Are you going to get those? If you are, I’ll need to add them to the total.”

    Customer: “Okay, sure. And I’ll share them with you guys!”

    (I look at my coworker who is standing behind me, trying to figure out if he’s serious or not. I can’t tell, so I just laugh awkwardly and add them to his purchase.)

    Me: “Okay, your total now is $35.05.”

    (The man swipes his credit card, and I give him his receipt. Then, he rips open the bag and offers some to me.)

    Me: “Wait, you were serious?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Hold out your hand and say when.”

    (He gave a couple to my coworker and me, then left. They were very good, and the gesture made my night!)

    Please Keep Both Hands On The Wheel(chair)

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top, Transportation

    (I’ve been in a wheelchair for several years and am still pretty independent. Unfortunately there are times the chair can be a real pain. I broke down on the interstate on my daily commute and do not have a cell phone. As a result I am wheeling myself down the I-35 shoulder headed to the closest gas station when a DPS unit pulls up behind me. I was very tired since the shoulder of an interstate is not the easiest surface for me to go long distances. When I see the cop something just reminds me of a routine traffic stop, which I find hilarious.)

    Me: “Don’t bother asking for my license or proof of insurance for my chair, as I have neither.”

    (The cop looked confused for a second, and then burst out laughing.)

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