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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Awesome Customers

    Retract The Tract

    | FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Religion

    (No one at my restaurant likes working the Sunday lunch shift, because it’s full of people who have just come from the nearby church. Most of them are total cheapskates and sometimes they’ll even get in your face about it. This Sunday, I’ve just delivered the check to a young couple.)

    Male Customer: “Instead of a tip, I’m just going to give you this tract.”

    (He hands me a paper and they both have huge grins on their faces as I can feel my expression turning into an obvious scowl.)

    Me: “Oh, uh… thanks.”1

    Female Customer: “I think you’ll find everything worthwhile about religion written down there.”

    (I open the paper they give me as they get up to leave, and I get two surprises. First is a $20 tip on a $30 check, even though they said they weren’t going to tip me. Second, the paper is completely blank.)

    Me: “This, uh… this is a blank paper.”

    Male Customer: “We’re atheists.”

    Those Very Rare Self-Aware

    | WI, USA | Awesome Customers

    (I’m acting as greeter at a small, fairly-well off restaurant, when a thunderstorm rolls in, knocking out the power and taking our computer system with it. The power comes back in a half an hour or so, but our computer system is still down, meaning that we can’t bring up our reservation list. Due to this, we just do our best to seat those people who have been waiting, and let those coming in know about the issues we are having.)

    Female Customer: “Hello, we have a reservation for two under [Name].”

    Me: “All right. Unfortunately, the storm knocked out our power, so our computers are down and we don’t have our reservation list. However, we should have a table opening up for you in about five to ten minutes.”

    Female Customer: “Five to ten minutes! We had a reservation. We slogged our way through this downpour, and now you’re telling me that…” *trails off, then steps back and looks at her husband* “Honey, I am very sorry, but I must go kill myself. I’ve become what I hate.”

    Male Customer: *nods slowly* “Yes, I noticed, but I wasn’t sure how to break it to you.”

    (They actually turned and left!)

    Not Always Right: The Comic – He Fought The Law & The Law Won

    | Concord, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Not Always Right: The Comic
    NotAlwaysRight.com - He Fought The Law & The Law Won


    Read the full story here.

    ‘A’ As In Awesome

    | CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words

    (I work in tech support, and am asking a caller his username. All is normal until…)

    Caller: “That’s R as in Raygun, Z as in zombie…”

    (I didn’t know what to say! Thank you caller for making my day!)

    Harry Potter And The Amazon Woman

    | ID, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (I work reference desk at a public library. My desk is right next to the “New Books” display, and among the new books is a copy of “The Secret History of Wonder Woman.” The dust jacket shows Wonder Woman in the process of changing from her alter ego to her superhero form, so she still has her glasses and jacket on, but is also wearing her iconic leotard and crown. A mom and her children are walking by the display when one spots the book.)

    Child: “Mom, look! It’s Harry Potter Wonder Woman!”

    (I’m also a geek in my off-time, so I’m tempted to cosplay that at my next convention now…)

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