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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Fixing For A Fixing

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (In my local supermarket, there’s a very nice chap who usually works behind the tobacco counter. I have no idea what his preference is, but he’s obviously flamboyant and camp. He’s also always very friendly and helpful to everyone.)

    Angry Customer: “God, that f****** [homophobic slur] is so slow!”

    (Everyone else in the queue turns in astonishment, not sure that they just heard that. The angry customer continues ranting:)

    Angry Customer: “Those d*** gays; they’re everywhere! I don’t know what’s wrong with—OW! OW!”

    (We all look down to see a five year old standing there, kicking the ranting guy hard in the shins, repeatedly.)

    Child: “You’re—” *kick* “—not—” *kick* “—a—” *kick* “—nice—” *kick* “—man—” *kick*

    (The angry customer grabs the child, to the complete shock of everyone watching, at which point he is tackled by several people.)

    Angry Customer: “I have my rights! I have been assaulted!”

    (The police arrive very quickly, and calm the situation.)

    Policeman: *to angry customer* “Well, we’ve heard from all these people that you grabbed and then tried to hit that little girl. Is that true?”

    Angry Customer: “I demand you arrest her! She attacked me! She’s guilty of assault!”

    Policeman: “She’s five! She can’t legally commit any crime. You, on the other hand, have assaulted a small child and are now under arrest.”

    (The best bit of the entire story? Various people offered to buy the little girl some sweets.)

    Little Girl: “No! I don’t want sweets. I want this!”

    (She has a cheap 50-piece toolset with screwdrivers, pliers, and so-on. We confirm with her mum that it is okay to buy that for her at that age.)

    Mum: “Sure, why not? You’ve already seen that she likes fixing things.”

    A Layaway Payaway

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I worked the service desk of a popular chain toy store that offers layaway last Christmas. One night a lady comes up to speak with my coworker.)

    Coworker: “Welcome to [Toy Store]. How can I help you this evening?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’m sure this sounds unusual, but I was wondering if I could pay off a layaway?”

    Coworker: *not seeing why this is unusual* “Sure, do you have the layaway number or the name it’s under?”

    Customer: “No, I mean a random one, someone who hasn’t paid theirs off yet. I’d like to pay it for them anonymously.”

    (This is within two days of the final pickup day for layaway.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Uh, do you know if this is allowed?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. Let me call the manager and find out how this would work.”

    (I spoke with the manager on duty and he was able to pull up a random account and allowed the woman to pay it off. Later he called the family to let them know their Christmas presents were completely paid for and they could come pick them up. My coworker and I were amazed that this lady would do this for a complete stranger and were in a great mood for the rest of our shift.)

    Enough To Bring A Teal To Your Eyes

    | WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I volunteer for our local museum during a popular traveling Sherlock Holmes exhibit. When it is slow, I will walk along with visitors and chat. I am walking with a young mom and her four-year-old daughter. They love the exhibit, and go to the gift shop. I am on a break and stop by the gift shop to say hi to the woman working the register.)

    Little Girl: “Hey! You are the lady that helped us!”

    Me: “Yes, I am. Did you find anything?”

    (She shows me a handful of marbles, one in every color we offered.)

    Little Girl: “What is your favorite color?”

    Me: “I really like the teal ones.”

    (She scampers away, and I don’t think much of it as I have these conversations with kids a lot. I am talking with the mom when her daughter comes back.)

    Little Girl: “Here! This is for you!”

    (She hands me a teal marble.)

    Me: “it’s beautiful, thank you!”

    Little Girl: “It’s a friendship marble. Now we’ll always be friends!”

    Mom: “[Little Girl] and I are on our own. Her dad left us when she was born and I’ve been trying to make sure she has great values.”

    Me: “You’ve done an amazing job! She is a real gem; I loved talking with you today!”

    (I slip the cashier money to pay for the girl’s marbles, and when she is told her marbles are free, she tears up.)

    Little Girl: “Mom and I don’t have a lot of money; we saved just to come here!”

    Me: “Well, in that case…”

    (I refunded their admission and paid for it myself. I made sure they got two free passes for the museum for their next visit, and they came and saw me for the next exhibit. The little girl was just as pleasant as she was the first time. And the teal marble? She had it in her pocket, and since I carry mine in my purse, I had mine that day as well.)

    Always Time For A Rhyme

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words, Top

    (Our county council has online web-forms for people to get in touch.)

    Customer Email:

    “The winds outside blew and blew
    and my bin lid verily flew
    in a lickety split
    I emailed you quick
    to request a brand new one from you”

    (Since the customer did not tell us whether it was her recycling or refuse bin that broke in the weather I have to contact her back. It is the first time I have EVER received a request in limerick form, so I decide to phone the lady. Unfortunately, it goes to voicemail.)

    Me: *to the voicemail*

    “The council received your request
    but you leave us a little perplexed
    Amidst rhyming hype
    forgot ye the type
    of the bin-lid you meant to suggest”

    Will Pay For That Later

    | ND, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m making a big coupon trip to a big-box retailer, a really big trip I’ve been planning for the better part of a week. I have a couple hundred items in my cart, and just as many coupons that need to be scanned. As the cashier starts scanning, I let anyone who gets in line behind me know that I have a lot of coupons and that my checkout will take a while so they might want to get in another line. They all decide to go to another line, until…)

    Me: “I’ve got a few hundred coupons that are going to need to be scanned after he’s done ringing up my items.” *waves big stack of coupons* “So this will be a while. You might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do. This register has the shortest line. I’m checking out here.”

    Me: “All right, just wanted to let you know the coupons were going to take a bit to scan.”

    (In a few minutes, the cashier has finished ringing up all my items.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $1,760.43.”

    Me: “Okay. Here are my coupons.”

    (The customer behind me groans loudly and mutters something about ‘people who can’t afford to just buy things.’ As the cashier continues to scan my coupons, she gets more pissed off and more impatient.)

    Me: “I’m sorry this is taking so long. This is why I suggested you might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “YOU should have gotten in another line, you dumb b****! I don’t know who the f*** you coupon b****es think you are, making those of us who work for a living wait for you so you can get 50 cents off your stupid crap. You’re just wasting my time, you stupid b****!”

    (The rant continues while the cashier continues to scan my coupons. The cashier and I just roll our eyes at each other about the woman’s behavior and let her rant at us. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the cashier scans the final coupon and announces my savings.)

    Cashier: “All right, so from $1,760, you’re down to $132.73, and you’ve earned $245 in gift cards. Thank you for shopping at [Store]!”

    Me: “Thank you for your patience. Have a great day!”

    (I grab my bags and start to head out when the woman behind me yells for me. I turn.)

    Customer: “So, do you, like, teach people how to do this?”

    Me: “Yes, I absolutely do, but dumb coupon b****es like me shouldn’t take up the time of people who work for a living like you, so I wouldn’t be able to help you. Enjoy paying for your things!”

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