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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Stink-Eye For The Stinky Guy

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I’m standing in line at a large retail store. There are about three people in front of me. There are the only two registers open in the entire store, but because of the amount of people, it’s all converged into one long line. A customer walks forward, and lets out a large ‘HUMPH’ when she sees the length of the line. She then starts to walk in front of everyone in line to the front-most register. She’s blocked at the point of entry into the checkout line by a teenage boy reading a magazine off the display rack.)

    Customer: “Are you standing in both lines?”

    (The question startles the boy. It looks as though he is about to move forward to get out of her way, until he sees at the disgusted look on her face. He changes his mind and smirks.)

    Teenager: “Yup!”

    Customer: “Humph! You’re standing in both lines?”

    (The teenage boy then gets a rather painful look on his face, and rips out a loud fart. He just smiles at the customer. Everyone in line starts to laugh. Both cashiers have actually stopped scanning items in amazement.)

    Customer: “Humph!”

    (The woman leaves her entire cart—which must have taken over an hour to fill—at the checkout and walks out. She gives the stink-eye to the boy, who is still smiling.)

    Solved The Problem In A Snap

    | Canada | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I work in a cosmetics store. My area is extremely busy, with everybody wanting my help at the same time. A rather large family come in, wanting to look at lipsticks. I show them the area, and excuse myself to help Customer #1, who has been waiting patiently.)

    Me: “Okay, so this one reduces wrinkles, this one has Vitamin E, and this one has B.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, okay, I used this one at home. I want a change, so which would you suggest?”

    Me: “Well yo—”

    (Just then, Customer #2, a man in the large family, snaps his fingers at me, interrupting me.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Give me one second, and I’ll be right with you, sir.”

    (Customer# 2 than snaps his fingers at me AGAIN. Customer# 1 looks visibly annoyed, and her face goes white.)

    Me: “Sir, that is extremely rude. Please do not snap your fingers at me; I will be right with you as soon as I am finished.”

    (Customer# 2 goes to open his mouth, when Customer# 1 snaps.)

    Customer #1: “Don’t you even start with her! How dare you treat her like that! Can’t you see she’s working as hard as she can, with a big smile on her face? She’s so sweet, and she’s been nothing but nice to everybody, and trying to help everybody at once! So shut your mouth and wait!”

    (Customer#2 is aghast; his jaw is hanging open. He grabs his family, and leaves with his tail tucked between his legs. I give Customer #1 a hug. She made my day!)

    Acts Of Kindness Do Register

    | Kirksville, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I’m working as a cashier during the Black Friday sale. We’ve just had new registers installed a few months prior. It is extremely busy because of the sale. I’ve finished scanning everything for a customer.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is $1458.97.”

    Customer: “Okay, credit.”

    (She scans her card, and my entire register crashes. My screen is totally black.)

    Me: “Uh… I need to call a supervisor over. My register just crashed.”

    (My supervisor comes over, and I explain the situation.)

    Customer: “Oh, no! Did I break it?”

    Supervisor: “No, it’s possible that all the transactions have just overloaded the system. I’ll take you to the service desk, and we’ll fix this.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (She follows my supervisor. The other supervisors move the rest of my line to the service desk. I go outside to take my break, when another customer approaches me.)

    Customer #2: “Were you the one whose register broke down?”

    Me: “Yeah, that was me.”

    Customer #2: “That must have been a bit nerve wracking.”

    Me: “Yeah, but at least that lady was calm about it. It could have been a lot worse!”

    Customer #2: “Are you guys allowed drinks while you’re working?”

    Me: “Not normally, but they are allowing it tonight because of the sale. I should go back in and get back to work. Have a nice night.”

    (I return, and my register is working properly. About an hour later, Customers #1 and #2 come back though my line. They set one of every drink we sell by the checkout lines on my counter.)

    Customer #1: “Pick one.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer #1: *points to Customer #2* “My husband told me that he talked to you on your break. You were very calm, and didn’t have anything bad to say. So pick a drink; it’s on me!”

    (One of my supervisors comes over and assures me it’s okay.)

    Me: “Okay, thank you. I’ll take this one.”

    (It turns out they were from the corporate office, and they gave my manager a great letter of commendation! I never volunteered for Black Friday after that though!)

    They Make A Mockery Of Muggery

    | France | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal

    (I work the night shift. Two men in their twenties enter the store. They’re wearing saggy pants, and all the works. They look like they’ve been in a fight, as one has a black eye and a split lip, and the other has a swollen cheek and a nosebleed. Immediately they start harassing me, making lewd innuendos, and generally being obnoxious. Another customer walks in and spots them.)

    Customer: “You again? How many times am I going to have to beat the tar out of you tonight?”

    (Both men turn around, take a good look at the customer, turn pale, and leave without another word.)

    Me: “What the f*** just happened?”

    Customer: “They tried to mug me about two hours ago.”

    Freedom Isn’t Free

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m a bank teller at a large national bank. A customer in her mid-twenties comes up to my till.)

    Me: “Welcome to [bank name]! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I find the total amount I owe for my student loans?”

    Me: “Sure, what is your full name?”

    (She gives me her name, and I give her the amount owed. It is a fairly large amount.)

    Customer: “Perfect!”

    (With a large smile, she hands me a cashier check from another bank, for the exact amount, totally paying off all loans she has with this bank. I enter the info, and print her receipt. I quickly run to the back to see my manager.)

    Me: “Can I give this customer a couple of the promotional items that we usually give to people that open checking accounts?”

    (My manager see the amount that she is paying, and that this means the customer has totally paid off the loans.)

    Manager: “You can give her whatever you want!”

    (I grab some items, and bring them back up to the till.)

    Me: “Congratulations on paying off all your loans. Here’s your receipt, and a few gifts for paying off such a large loan amount.”

    Customer: “Thank you very much! What I’m about to say has nothing to do with you; you are a great person, and thank you very much for the free gift. So, just go with everything I’m about to do.”

    Me: “…Okay?”

    (She holds up the receipt above her head, and speaks in a loud voice.)

    Customer: “Ha! Six years ago I sold my soul to this bank! But after going through the nine circles of hell, I have finally gotten free of it! I now owe you nothing, zip, zero, nada! I am free; no more bills, payments, fees, nothing. I’M FREEEEEEE!”

    (Even as she walks out the doors, she’s yelling and dancing. The dozen or so other customers and workers watch her the whole time. Another customer speaks loud enough so just about everyone can hear him.)

    Customer #2: “Raise your hand if you wish you could do that.”

    (Just about everyone else in the bank raises their hand.)


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