• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
    (1,550 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Awesome Customers

    Clawing Back Faith In Humanity

    | New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (The cinema I work for has a large games area. They staff this area with a cash-out booth, so patrons can get out coins from their EFTPOS cards. We also help out when games break down or have issues. On this day I am working in the booth when a middle aged lady approaches me.)

    Lady: “Hey, I just thought I’d let you know, one of your claw machines is broken. These kids have been playing on it on just $2, but the machine keeps giving them free turns.”

    Me: “Oh, thank you for letting me know! I’ll see what I can do about it.”

    (As we have to make sure all the games are working and not handing out free things, I go over to check on the machine. Sure enough, there are these two seven- to nine-year-old boys playing on the crane game for the larger sized toys, and I notice that there seems to be a lot less than there were earlier that morning. I’m about to go over and tell the boys I can’t let them keep playing anymore when one of them wins a large Hello Kitty toy. He then promptly runs over to a random young lady and asks her if she would like the toy because he didn’t want it but he thought she might like it. Baffled, clearly having never met the kid before, the woman accepts. I happen to notice a lot of other people wandering around the games area with large toys. I assume most have never met the boys before. It is the cutest thing ever, so I let them win one more toy each to take home for themselves, seeing how they have given away every single other toy to strangers. After that I fix the game once their parents take them off to their movie. Cutest kids I’ve ever met.)

    It’ll Be With You In Two Shakes

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (Note that our milkshakes come in small and large, which are served in the small and medium soft drink cups. Our large soft drink cups have a different shape, so they can’t fit under the milkshake spinner. A customer approaches my register to order.)

    Customer: “I just love your peach milkshakes! The large just isn’t big enough though. Why don’t you have them the same sizes as your drinks?”

    (I explain about the machine.)

    Customer: “Oh. So I can’t get an extra large milkshake?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t sell that size. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Can’t you figure out how to ring one up? I just love them so much and the large is never enough!”

    (I have an idea and turn to ask my manager, who is over by the drive through. She agrees, so I come back to the customer.)

    Me: “Well, if you want to buy a small and a large shake, I can then combine them into the big cup. It’s the same size ounce-wise.”

    Customer: “Yes! Oh, yes, I would love that. Your milkshakes are just so good!”

    Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

    (He pays and I go make the milkshakes. While I am, I can hear him telling other customers how awesome our shakes are and how excited he is. My coworkers are amused at me making two shakes and then dumping them into a huge cup. When it’s done, I turn back to the customer.)

    Me: “Do you want whipped cream? I’m afraid the milkshake lid won’t fit since it’s not made for the bigger cup.”

    Customer: “Yes! And that’s okay; I’ll drink it really fast.”

    (I finish off his monster milkshake and hand it to him. He looks like a little kid who’s just met Santa.)

    Customer: “Thanks so much!”

    (He literally skipped out of the restaurant, drinking his shake.)

    His Name Is Olaf And He Likes Hot Cheeseburgers

    | AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am a male and take chats from the website of a large North American cable company.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company] sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

    Customer: “Yes, [My Name], it’s Olaf!”

    Me: “Hello, Olaf! How may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “I need Internet, and I have a few questions. One: which service is best for gaming. Two: how much is a rental modem, and do you like cheeseburgers?”

    Me: “Well, Olaf, that would be [Product], that modem is $3.99 per month, and I love cheeseburgers! Now, let’s get this ordered. I’ll be on with you to make sure all goes well!”

    (The customer goes through the order without interruption, and an order number populates my screen.)

    Me: “I see that order is [number]! Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

    Customer: “Well, [My Name], that was easy! I have to say, my name really isn’t Olaf. It’s too bad I’m married, because I think I have a crush on you.”

    Me: “Ha ha ha, And I, you, Not-Olaf!”

    Customer: “If only this did not have to end.”

    Me: “Alas, Not-Olaf all things come to an end. So I must ask: is there anything else I can do for you today?”

    Customer: “D***, I knew you would say that! But I guess I’ve bothered you enough. Goodbye, sexy.”

    Me: “Bye Not-Olaf! This made my day!”

    (Customer closes chat.)

    Speaking The Same Amount Of The Same Language

    | ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

    Customer: “Bonjour! Comment ca va?”

    Me: “Ca va bien, et toi?”

    Customer: “Ca va bien!”

    Me: “That’s it. That’s all I got. That’s all I know how to say.”

    Customer: “Me, too!”

    Me: “Well, we really sounded like we knew what we were talking about, didn’t we?!”

    Customer: “We sure did!”

    Self-Helpless Against Stupidity

    | Middletown, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (One of the local supermarkets recently ‘upgraded’ their self-checkout systems. While nominally faster, the new systems are more complicated and far more prone to bugs. The first time I hit the ‘use a coupon’ button the whole screen is covered with a ‘please wait for attendant’ warning. One of the workers comes over.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t know what happened.”

    Attendant: “Let me guess. You needed to use a coupon?”

    Me: “Um… yeah?”

    Attendant: “No problem. One second.”

    (She swipes her ID card, types in a code, swipes the coupon, hits ‘done,’ and puts it in the slot.)

    Attendant: “There you go.”

    Me: “I guess there’s a problem with the coupon part?”

    Attendant: “Yeah, we had a rash of people having issues with the sensor when putting the coupons in the slot who were just about ripping the machine apart instead of asking for any help at all.”

    Me: “There’s no way they’d be that—”

    (As if scripted, there’s suddenly a loud banging just behind us at the other machine; another shopper’s receipt jams in the printer because they tried to yank it out before it was done printing, and she is now PUNCHING the printer to try to get it to work.)

    Me: “…okay, thank you for the help. Have a nice day and God’s speed, brave warrior!”

    Attendant: “Once more into the breach!”