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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Awesome Customers

    Lucky In Card(ed)s

    , | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    Waitress: “What would you like to drink?”

    Me: “I’ll have a rum and Coke.”

    Friend: “I’ll have Guinness.”

    Waitress: “May I see some ID?”

    (My friend and I look at each other in shock. I am just shy of turning 50 and my friend is in his mid-50s, and we both have classic male pattern baldness. There isn’t a chance on earth either of us could be confused with being minors.)

    Me: “Are you serious?”

    Waitress: *looking a bit embarrassed* “It’s policy.”

    (Generally, policy is to card people who look 30 or under. We don’t even look close to that. My friend is from England where carding is basically non-existent.)

    Friend: “Young lady, I have never once been carded in my entire life. Congratulations, you are the very first.”

    Turned Into A Dog Day Afternoon

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

    (I’ve been having a really bad day due to a customer I had earlier. An older gentleman comes up to my till and I smile weakly at him.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

    Customer #1: “I’m doing just fine, little lady. How are you?”

    Me: “I’m all right. Are you getting the dog food as well?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, but I’m going to pay for that with cash, if that’s all right?”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    (I continue to check out the grocery portion of it and he pays. I next begin scanning the dog food when a woman behind him in line sees it and flicks her gaze to Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, sir?”

    (Both he and I look at the woman. I’m bracing myself for an altercation.)

    Customer #2: “I just really love dogs. Would you mind if I buy those for you?”

    Customer #1: “Y-you don’t have to!”

    Customer #2: “I know, but I want to. I really love dogs and I want to do anything I can for them.”

    (With Customer #1’s blessing, she added the cans of dog food to her $30 order. Faith in humanity was restored and my day improved after that!)

    Reading The Smoke Signal Loud And Clear

    | Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I’m working third-shift in a quiet part of town, when a car pulls up, a man steps out, walks in, and comes up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Pack of Marlboro Reds.”

    Me: “Sure thing. May I see your ID?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Your ID. I need to see it before I can sell you cigarettes.”

    Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

    Me: “…no, sir. I need to see ID before I can sell you cigarettes.”

    Customer: “Look, I know this is a s***ty little town, but in a real city like Cleveland, they don’t ask people older than 18 for ID for just cigarettes.”

    Me: “Sir, I doubt that. I’m abiding by state law, and that applies in Cleveland, too.”

    Customer: “Just give me the smokes!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t do that without ID.”

    Customer: “You know what? You’re just some dumba** kid who works a s***ty job, and you’ll never amount to anything because you live in this piece of s*** town. If you had a real job or weren’t a total loser, you wouldn’t be such a piece of s*** about this. You won’t ever be anything in life, you f***.”

    Me: “That might be true, but, you know what I can do that you can’t?”

    Customer: “WHAT?”

    (I turn, grab a pack of my brand of cigarettes off the shelf, scan them, pull out my wallet, swipe my card, grab my receipt, open the pack, and slide a cigarette behind my ear, before pocketing the smokes and receipt.)

    Me: “I can buy cigarettes here.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU!”

    (He turns and storms out.)

    Me: “Have a great mornin’!”

    The Kind Of Customer We Want

    , | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I pull in to a local fast food drive-thru.)

    Clerk: *through the speaker* “Hello and thanks for choosing [Company]. What will it be today?”

    Me: *I’ve already decided, so I give my order with no hesitation* “I’ll have [order] with a [drink].”

    Clerk: *playfully with a sassy tone* “All right! A man who knows what he wants.”

    (We finish the order process. I pull around and wait my turn, several cars deep, before I finally get to the window.)

    Clerk: “Hey! It’s the man who knows what he wants.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’ve changed my mind.”

    Clerk: “Noooooooooo….”

    Guardians Of The Service Staff

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It is about two weeks after ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ has hit theaters. I’ve wanted to see it but haven’t had a chance. A customer comes through my line with a shirt picturing the characters from the movie.)

    Me: *grins* “I like your shirt!”

    Customer: “Yeah! Have you seen it yet?”

    Me: “No, I haven’t had a chance to go yet.”

    Customer: “Go see it right now.”

    Me: *laughs* “I’ll get right on that.”

    Customer: “No, seriously. Close your lane, leave work right now, and go see that movie.”

    Me: *more laughing* “I really wish I could! I’ll see it first chance I get.”

    Customer: “Hey, the customer is always right, right? Tell your boss that the customer said you have to leave and go see a movie!”

    Me: *my coworkers start laughing, too* “I really don’t think that would go over well.”

    (I processed his transaction and handed him his receipt, and as he was leaving he told me again that I should really go see it. That customer made my night.)

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