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    Category: Awesome Customers

    Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

    Me: “Can I get your last name?”

    Customer: “Aslan.”

    Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

    Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

    (Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

    Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

    Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like the lion!?”

    Hostess: “… Right.”

    Super Friends

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (A group of friends of mine stop by the store where I work. As a joke all of them come to my lane to ‘make me earn my pay’ for the night. A customer with her son tries cutting them all and jumps in the front.)

    Customer: “Hurry up! I’m a very important person! I have things to do.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be glad to check you out before each of these gentlemen that you cut if you ask each of them what they do and honestly think that what you do is more important.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *turns to Friend #1* “And what do you do?”

    Friend #1: “I train soldiers at [local military base] who are willing to fight for your freedom.”

    Customer: “… Oh.” *turns to Friend #2* “What about you?”

    Friend #2: “I’m a firefighter.”

    Customer: “… Um.” *skips Friend #3 and #4 and goes to #5* “And you?”

    Friend #5: “I do cancer research.”

    (The customer gives up. I proceed to checkout everyone accordingly and the customer pays and bolts out the door.)

    Me: “Have I ever told you guys how proud I am to actually know you guys? Wonder why she didn’t ask [Friend #3] and [Friend #4]?”

    Friend #3: “Well… she’s a waitress where I eat lunch while I’m on patrol… so she knows I’m a cop!”

    Friend #4: “I… I can’t actually say!”

    Friend #5: “Fine! I will! Her son came up to [Friend #4] and asked how working at [medical practice where Friend #4 is shadowing] is going. She sees him at her kid’s pediatrician!”

    Great Minds Think Alike

    | GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working in a fast food sub shop when a nice regular walks in. Behind in line are a small child and his mother.)

    Me: “A cheesesteak sandwich with no onions and a medium drink, [Regular]?”

    Regular: “As always.” *pays and leaves*

    Small Child: “You knew exactly what that guy wanted! Do you READ MINDS?! Tell me what I want to eat!”

    (The mother mouths to me behind her son’s back.)

    Me: “You want a… peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

    Small Child: “Well… what kind of jelly do I want?”

    (The mother mouths to me again.)

    Me: “Hmm… grape!”

    Small Child: “Wow, you do read minds! Mommy, she reads minds!”

    Waxing Lyrical On The Lyrics

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

    Elderly Customer: “I’m trying to learn this song. Do you have music for ‘Your Mind Is On Vacation And Your Mouth Is Workin’ Overtime’?”

    Me: “No, but now I want to learn it, too!”

    Elderly Customer: “No s***, right?!”

    The Sweet Taste Of Karma

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a busy chocolate store. One of our more popular items is a mint chocolate bar. They sell really quickly and we often run out of them within two days of the delivery. A customer wants to buy six of them, but we are out.)

    Customer: *staring at me and my coworker in utter disbelief* “What do you mean you’re all out?”

    Me: “We don’t have any left. I just sold the last few about 10 minutes ago. They’re really popular and—”

    Customer: “I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY ARE. I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! GIVE THEM TO ME! AND I EXPECT THEM FOR FREE FROM ALL THE STRESS YOU’RE CAUSING ME!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, we’re really sorry. We don’t have any left, and if we don’t have any left, that means we don’t have any to give to you. You’ll have to come back another time.”

    Customer: “I’M NOT GOING TO COME BACK ANOTHER TIME! YOU TWO USELESS LITTLE SCABS ARE LYING TO ME! YOU’RE HIDING THEM FOR YOUR FAT SELVES! I DEMAND ALL YOUR MINT BARS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY LEFT! I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS.”

    (At this point, a little old lady has wandered in, looking disgruntled.)

    Old Lady: *taps the screaming customer on the shoulder* “They said they’re out. That means they can’t give you any. What do you want them to do? S*** them out? Because you deserve that instead of the bar!”

    (The screaming customer stormed off and we haven’t seen her since!)

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