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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Awesome Customers

    Armed And Dangerous

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

    (I don’t normally work at our store’s other location, but because of the holidays we are short-staffed all-around and I need to fill in. The one coworker working with me today is on break, and I am taking orders, making food, and making espresso drinks as fast as I can.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me! We’ve been waiting forEVER for our drinks!”

    Me: *looking up from the line of five sandwiches I am currently making* “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I know it’s taking a bit long but I promise it’ll be up soon.”

    Customer #1: “God! I hate coming here. You kids are so incompetent!”

    (Customer #2, a regular at both of our stores, steps forward.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, how many of you are there back there?”

    Me: *thinking I’m gonna hear it from him, too* “Just me for right now.”

    Customer #2: “And how many arms do you have?”

    Me: “…Just the two?”

    Customer #2: *looking at [Customer #1]* “Ah, well that explains it.”

    (Customer #1 gets a mean look on her face and marches back to her table.)

    Me: *whispering* “You’re so cool…”

    (Customer #2 definitely got his usual latte on me that day!)

    Has An Expensive Chip On His Shoulder

    | Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    Customer: “How much are the bags of chips?”

    Me: “Just a little over two dollars with tax.”

    Customer: “What? That’s unreasonable! Why would you charge me that much?”

    Customer’s Wife: “Shut up. What makes you think that poor girl set the prices on the chips?”

    At Last You’ve Seen The Light

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a pawn shop, and one day, a punk girl in her 20s with piercings and a mohawk comes in to the store with her boyfriend. On this day, I’ve chosen Disney’s Tangled to play on the display TVs.)

    Punk Girl: *sees what I have playing on the TVs* “Oh, my god, is that Tangled? I love this movie!”

    Me: “Would you like to buy a copy? Almost every time I play it in here, I sell at least one.”

    Punk Girl: *stops singing along for a moment* “No, thanks. I already own it. And the soundtrack.”

    (She walked away singing along and dancing, making my day. I took this as proof that things are sometimes the complete opposite of what they appear to be.)

    A Dally Over A Dollar

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

    (I’m in line to check out at an everything-is-a-dollar store. An elderly lady is in front of me, trying to do a return of some fake flowers.)

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do refunds. We only do exchanges.”

    Customer: “But I was told that I could return these if they were the wrong ones!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we don’t even have an option on the register to do that. I could call a manager for you.”

    Customer: “Yes, do that.”

    (The manager comes over to talk to the woman as the cashier rings me up. The customer, despite that we’re the only customers in the store at the time, is being quite loud.)

    Customer: “These are the wrong color! I don’t need them, and I don’t need $11 of anything else in here! I want my money back!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but since everything in here is only a dollar, we do not provide refunds, only exchanges.”

    Customer: “But that’s not what I was told! I was told I could get a refund, not that I would have to get something else! That’s false advertising!”

    (Meanwhile, the cashier has finished ringing me up and has handed me my receipt.)

    Me: *in a low voice so the cashier is the only one who can hear me* “It says it on the receipt.”

    Cashier: “What?”

    Me: “Right here, on the bottom. You have 30 days for an exchange of a product. We do not offer refunds.”

    Cashier: *also whispering* “You feel my pain.”

    Me: “I used to work in retail. I swear, customers need to pass a reading comprehension test before they try to get around the policies written right on the receipt.”

    (At this point, I didn’t notice that the customer had approached behind me while I was talking to the cashier.)

    Me: “I swear. Some people think they can get away with anything. It’s $11. Just go buy some candles or batteries or something. You never know when the power will go out. But don’t complain about a return policy that is right there on the receipt in your hand. You have a lovely day, and hopefully that’s the craziest customer you’ll have this month.”

    (I turn around to face the customer who’s glaring at me with a bright red face.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

    Yelling To A Fault

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Technology

    Employee: “Hi, this is [Company]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “I can’t connect to the Internet. I’ve checked my modem, and I think it’s working. Can you help me?”

    Employee: “Let me check your location. Ah. A bolt of lightning hit a transformer in your area and fried the server. It’ll be out of commission for at least a few hours, I’m afraid.”

    Me: “Bummer! Okay, thanks.”

    Employee: “…That’s it? You’re not going to yell at me?”

    Me: “Uh, no. It’s not your fault.”

    Employee: “Well, yeah, but that’s never stopped anyone before!”

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