Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Make Him Go Red In The Face

| Louisville, KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Rude & Risque

(My father runs a dog grooming shop, and I have been helping him out there since I was about 10 during times when I’m not in school. During the time of this exchange, I was maybe 14 and working the counter when an older man, maybe in his 50s or 60s, came to pick up his dog.)

Man: “I’m here to pick up Maggie.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $42 today.”

Man: *smiles* “So, is your hair dyed, or are you a natural redhead?”

(I had recently bleached my hair from black in an attempt to get it light enough to dye bright red. It was a bright orange color from the bleach, and very obviously not a natural color. On top of that, my eyebrows are dark brown, revealing my natural color.)

Me: “Um, I bleached it from black, and it just kind of turned this color. It wasn’t on purpose.”

Man: “Oh, I see. Yeah, my ex-wife was a redhead. Feisty little thing, she was.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice.” *awkward smile*

Man: “But, yeah, I’m just bringing Maggie by to be groomed while I’m waiting for my wife to get out of physical therapy. She can’t move around very well.”

Me: “All right. Well, if you’d like to hand over your leash and collar, I’ll go get Maggie for you.”

(I go to get the dog and he leaves with her, only to forget his wallet on the counter. Still not sure if he did that on purpose or not, really. I of course have to call him and let him know that we have it, so he immediately returns.)

Me: “Here’s your wallet, sir.”

Man: “Thanks. Haha, you didn’t use my card to buy a new car, did you?”

(Considering the subtle yet creepy lines he’d dropped, I wasn’t sure if he had realized how young I was. I decided to drop a hint.)

Me: “Oh, no, haha. I’m nowhere near old enough to drive.”

(He started to look a bit surprised and just left with a simple thank you. I haven’t seen him since.)

It Has A Few Bugs In It

| MA, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Technology

(A customer comes in with a weather station, where there’s a small transmitter that goes outside to give you the outside temperature, and a bigger receiver that goes inside to show you the indoor temperature and what the transmitter is saying the outdoor temperature is. The transmitter isn’t working properly and is saying “LL” instead of a temperature. When a customer comes in with anything they claim doesn’t work, we have to troubleshoot.)

Me: “All right. The transmitter runs on batteries, so I’m gonna swap them out and see if that’s the problem.”

Customer: “Oh, those are brand new. I don’t see why that would be a problem.”

Me: “Well, sometimes it just happens, so let’s look.”

(I open the transmitter and take out the batteries, when something small and white falls out.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “…sir, I think those are maggots.”

Customer: “Well, how did those get in there?”

Me: “Bugs tend to go wherever its warm, and the transmitter must have been giving off heat.”

(The customer then proceeds to bang the transmitter on the counter, trying to get out all the maggots. Now the counter covered in maggots and I’m starting to feel sick.)

Me: “All right, sir, maybe I should take one more look at it.”

(I took the transmitter back from the customer and went to look in the battery pack, when I saw spiders start to crawl out towards me. I dropped the transmitter on the counter and ran into the back to have a panic attack alone. I came back out and the customer is still there, talking to my coworker, and wanting to get the device replaced. We told him no. Lucky for us, he left his maggot and spider infested product with us.)

Say Neigh To Demanding Customers, Part 2

| Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work for a large adventure playground which is situated in a park. We are strictly a ‘no pets allowed’ establishment; however, the park is popular with dog walkers and is used for obedience and agility classes, so it is a common occurrence to have people come along with their dogs and get frustrated when we have to turn them away. In this situation I am overhearing one of my coworkers speaking on the phone.)

Coworker #1: “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

(Pause.)

Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our playground has a strict ‘no pets allowed’ policy.”

(Longer pause.)

Coworker #1: “I’m sorry to hear that, but we really can’t make exceptions.”

(Pause.)

Coworker #1: “Ye—” *pause* “But I—” *pause* “We—” *pause* “No, th—” *pause*

(This carries on for some time, until eventually my coworker seems to give up.)

Coworker #1: *speaking very loudly* “YES, MA’AM, I UNDERSTAND. I’M SORRY WE COULDN’T WORK THINGS OUT. HAVE A NICE DAY.”

(He hangs up the phone with force and drops his head to the counter.)

Coworker #2: “Another person wanting to bring their puppy in, huh?”

Coworker #1: “No. She wanted to bring her HORSE.”

Related:
Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

As Sick As A Parrot

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)

Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”

Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”

Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”

Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”

Father: “Weasel.”

(The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)

Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”

Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”

Father: “Parrot!? That’s a weasel!”

Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”

Father: “You sure?”

Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”

Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”

(They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)

Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”

Child: “Ferret.”

Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”

Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”

It’s A Grey(hound) Area

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I was working in the call centre for a well-known bus company named after a type of dog. An ad was running at the time for a companion fare (buy one, get one) and it featured images of the type of dog the company is named after. One afternoon I get a call in regards to the pricing and rules for the fare. After giving this info the caller has one last question:)

Caller: “So, to use this companion fare, does my companion HAVE to be a dog?”

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