Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
    (1,807 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Roadkill Is A Feline-y

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Transportation

    (I’ve just started working on the reception and a customer comes rushing in.)

    Customer: “Oh, my god, you have to help. I’ve just run over a cat!”

    Me: “I think the vet is still in the building. If you bring the cat straight through to the back I’ll run and get him.”

    Customer: “I don’t have it with me!”

    Me: “Is someone else bringing it in? How injured is it? We can get everything ready.”

    Customer: “I don’t know. It’s on [motorway at least 10 miles away], and I just wanted you to let the owner know.”

    Me: “So… you hit it on the motorway? And you want me to find the owner and let them know?”

    Customer: “Yes, please. I already feel terribly guilty and would feel worse knowing the owner didn’t know.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll do my best. Thanks?”

    Making The Feathers Fly

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I am a chef. The server is fairly new. This is one of her first solo shifts. This couple comes in at the very end of lunch. They are the only customers in the building.)

    Male Customer: “Are the chickens fresh?”

    Server: “Yup. We pull the feathers in the back.”

    Male Customer: “Okay. I’ll take the chicken sandwich and some feathers.”

    Female Customer: “I’ll have the cheeseburger.”

    (The server enters their order in the computer. She then grabs their drinks and drops them off at the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are the feathers?”

    Server: “I just rang them in.” *laughs*

    (I cook the food and call out for the server. She picks up the order and brings it out to the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are my f****** feathers? If you don’t bring me my f****** feathers I am going to punch you in the face.”

    Server: “I’ll be right back.”

    (She goes and gets the manager who goes up to the table.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Male Customer: “I want my feathers. She said you had chicken feathers. She said you had them. If she doesn’t bring them out I am going to punch her.”

    Manager: “You need to leave. Now.”

    (As strange as this whole situation was, looking back on it now the thing I found the weirdest wasn’t the chicken feather guy. It was his girlfriend that didn’t say a thing through the entire ‘WTF’ conversation the guy had with the server and the manager.)

    Blowing A Lid Over A Cichlid

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (A customer comes up to me with a 20 gallon tank in her cart.)

    Customer: “You got any of those ‘chicklid’ fish?”

    Me: “You mean cichlids? Yes, ma’am, we do. Were you looking for a particular species?”

    Customer: “D***, I don’t know… How about that one?”

    (She points to our tank of juvenile tiger-oscars, a fish that can easily grow to a foot in length. Because of this, we do not allow them to be sold unless the person has or is buying a tank of at least 50 gallons.)

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. If you’d like a tiger-oscar, you will have to buy a bigger tank, though, along with a heater and filter. These fish get very large.”

    (I quickly explain the final size and tank requirements for the species.)

    Customer: “S***! I’m not buying no 50 gallon for a stupid fish!”

    Me: *ignoring her comment* “I’d be happy to show you other species that are perfect for the tank you’ve picked out.”

    Customer: “No! I need something for my kids to look at TONIGHT! They won’t be able to see no pathetic little guppy! I want that ‘chicklid!’”

    (She continues yelling at me to get her the fish while refusing to buy a filter, heater, or even gravel for the tank.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I cannot sell you a fish that you’ll be putting into a bare tank of stagnant water.”

    Customer: “You can’t deny me a sale! I am a customer and I deserve that fish!”

    Me: “My job is to care for these animals first. You are wanting to buy a live animal and that comes with requirements and responsibilities. As I said before, I am more than happy to show you other species that are better suited to your tank size but I will not sell you a tiger-oscar.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager. You’re being mean to me!”

    (I got my manager, who promptly agreed with my decision to not sell to her. She then asked to speak to the regional manager who also agreed with us. Furious, she stormed out of our store and vowed to never come back… not that we would have let her.)

    When The Cat’s Away The Pranks Come Out To Play

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (It’s a very slow day so I decide to take one of our cats out of her cage and hold her. She’s slung herself over my shoulder when a guy walks in.)

    Me: “Hello. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: *staring at the cat* “Holy s***! Is that thing real?”

    Me: *sarcastically* “Nope. It’s a new animatronic model from Google. We’re testing them in stores to eventually give people an option for a pet without the mess!”

    Customer: “That’s so awesome!! I have to tell my friends!”

    (He ran out the store before I could tell him I was joking.)

    Questionable Behavior

    | Pullman, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, School

    (While I am a student I work as a tour guide for prospective students.)

    Me: “Now if you have any questions. Feel free to ask me anything that doesn’t violate my fifth amendment rights!”

    (A good portion of the groups laugh as expected. The tour continues with me answering the occasional question. A mother of a high-school girl has one.)

    Mother: “What are your enrollment numbers?”

    Me: “Our undergrad enrollment is [number]. If you count grad students it goes up to [higher number].”

    Mother: “Thank you.”

    (Several minutes later, this same mother asks another questions.)

    Mother: “Where are the dining halls and how many options do they serve?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am…”

    (I proceed to give her every piece of info I can about meal plans, the dining locations, and even the specific food items. Several more minutes into the tour…)

    Mother: “I heard that last year you had a swine flu epidemic and had to shut down the school!”

    (At this point I wonder if she is clueless or deliberately trying to get a question I can’t answer.)

    Me: “Actually, several students were diagnosed but nowhere near an epidemic.”

    Mother: “How do you know? I heard they had to cancel two football games here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I go to every home football game. If they really did cancel a football game then I have no idea what I was watching.”

    (Some of the other parents are trying to contain their laughter, and even this woman’s daughter looks embarrassed at her mom)

    Mother: “Fine.” *looks around and then points* “WHAT KIND OF BIRD IS THAT!?”

    (The rest of the group as this point cannot believe this is happening.)

    Me: “If we look at that bird, we can clearly see that’s a magpie, which my friend pointed out to me last week. Now moving on…”

    (At this point the mother pulls out a phone as we continue and about two minutes later I hear the daughter.)

    Daughter: “See? It was a magpie! Now, will you please stop!?”

    Page 7/57First...56789...Last