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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Feline Felony

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Liars & Scammers, Pets & Animals

    (I am finishing my break and heading back to the checkout, a woman frantically calls me over and asks me if she’s allowed to take a free cat food sample, and I tell her yes. About 10 minutes later she comes through my lane, with 50 or more cat food samples stuffed down her top, cradled in her arms, and in her handbag.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, the free samples are one per customer.”

    Customer: “I was just picking some up for my friends.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but your friends will have to come and pick up their own sample.”

    (She sighs and throws all the samples that she was holding in her arms onto my checkout.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you also have a lot more of our samples down your top and in your bag. You can’t have those ones, either.”

    Customer: “How dare you! I will have you know that I am currently eight months pregnant!”

    Me: “I told you that you could have a free sample ten minutes ago, and you weren’t pregnant then.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***!”

    (She empties all the samples from down her top onto the floor and sprints from the store, trailing escaped samples from her handbag as she goes.)

    Nature Abhors A Vacuum-Head

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    (I overhear this conversation between two girls who look to be around fourteen or fifteen, lining up for an exhibit.)

    Girl #1: “Those flowers are pretty.”

    Girl #2: *while texting* “Yeah I guess.”

    Girl #1: “Oh my god! Don’t move! There’s a fly on you!”

    Girl #2: *in a horrified voice* “N-N-Nature!”

    Barking Up The Wrong Tree

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (An old woman comes into the store, looking very distressed.)

    Customer: “Have you seen my cat?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “He looks like this.” *holds up a badly drawn picture* “I got my grandson to draw me it.”

    Me: “I don’t think you’ll find your lost cat with that picture.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It’s a dog.”

    Customer: “Oh. But can you put this up in your shop window for me though? Just give him some pointy ears.”

    Curiosity Feeds The Cat

    | Victoria, Australia | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Can you help me please?”

    Me: “Yes, of course, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I want to buy some food for my cat, but mine doesn’t look like the one on the packet. Can I still feed it to him?”

    Me: “Yes sir, of course.”

    Customer: “Wow, really? Thanks!”

    No Brains And The Bees

    | Maryland, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have anything I can spray on my flowers to keep the bees off them?”

    Me: “You want to keep the bees off your flowers?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you sell that?”

    Me: “Do you understand how flowers work?”

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