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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Barking Up The Wrong Tree

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (An old woman comes into the store, looking very distressed.)

    Customer: “Have you seen my cat?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “He looks like this.” *holds up a badly drawn picture* “I got my grandson to draw me it.”

    Me: “I don’t think you’ll find your lost cat with that picture.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It’s a dog.”

    Customer: “Oh. But can you put this up in your shop window for me though? Just give him some pointy ears.”

    Curiosity Feeds The Cat

    | Victoria, Australia | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Can you help me please?”

    Me: “Yes, of course, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I want to buy some food for my cat, but mine doesn’t look like the one on the packet. Can I still feed it to him?”

    Me: “Yes sir, of course.”

    Customer: “Wow, really? Thanks!”

    No Brains And The Bees

    | Maryland, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have anything I can spray on my flowers to keep the bees off them?”

    Me: “You want to keep the bees off your flowers?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you sell that?”

    Me: “Do you understand how flowers work?”

    Not All Customers Are Bona-Fido

    | USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “[Doctor's] office, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, there! I was wondering if I could get an appointment for today?”

    Me: “Most likely. What type of animal do you have?”

    Customer: *noticeable pause* “I have a dog. I just need the shots to go overseas.”

    Me: “How exciting! When are you traveling?”

    Customer: “Tomorrow. I tried to get an appointment at the other doctor, but he couldn’t fit me in.”

    Me: “Well, just for a vaccination, I think we can manage that around four p.m. today. Do you happen to know what shots your dog needs?”

    Customer: “My dog?”

    Me: “Yes…to go abroad.”

    Customer: “Why would I give shots to my dog? He’s staying here. I need shots for my wife and me.”

    Me: “Sir, this is a veterinarian’s office. We treat animals here.”

    Customer: “But my flight’s tomorrow! Can’t you make an exception?”

    Me: “Sir, that would be highly illegal. And we only carry shots designed for dogs. We don’t have the type you’d need.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’m going to report you to the state!” *click*

    (The phone rings a moment later.)

    Me: “[Doctor's] office, how can I help you today?”

    Same Customer: “Um…my wife wants to know if you have dog boarding.”

    Beverly Spills Chihuahua

    | Plano, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “My wife and I were wondering if it would be okay to bring our chihuahua in while we eat?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but health department rules say we can’t allow any animals other than service animals in the restaurant.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. That’s no problem.”

    (He leaves, then comes back in with his wife and a dog-shaped bulge underneath his shirt. My manager, who had overheard the conversation, comes to the register.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s a violation of health code to have the dog in the restaurant.”

    Customer: “What dog?”

    (The dog then pokes his head out of the customer’s shirt.)

    Customer: *stammering* “Well, uh, he’ll stay right here. He won’t get out. He’s very clean and has good manners!”

    (A wet spot begins to appear on the man’s shirt.)

    Customer: “Maybe I’ll just go through the the drive thru…”


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