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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    The (H)owling

    | USA | Pets & Animals

    (I call a customer because her order has arrived.)

    Me: “Good morning, this is [store]. Your owl has arrived. You can pick him up at your convenience.”

    Customer: “Great! I’ll come by today!”

    Me: “If you need any advice, you can call us any time.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I’ve read up on owls. Raw meat every day and walks twice a day! And buy ear plugs before every full moon!”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, you know it’s a bird, right?”

    Don’t Wake The Fishies

    | Gainesville, FL, USA | Pets & Animals

    (The phone rings. I am on the sales floor in front of our tanks of fish for sale.)

    Caller: “Hi, I need you to get on the computer and look up what fish you have and how much they are.”

    Me: “I’d be glad to help you out. I’m standing right in front of the fish, so I can actually tell you right now how much they are and how many we have.”

    Caller: “No, I need you to get on the computer and look it up. I can’t easily come down to the store, so I want to see how many of each fish you have and what the price is.”

    Me: “What species were you looking for? I can just look and tell you how many we have and what the price is. It will be faster and more accurate than the inventory program, which I don’t have access to anyway.”

    Caller: “You can’t get on the computer?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, but I’d be happy to just look at the fish themselves. I can see how many we have in stock and give you the prices. What species were you looking for?”

    Caller: “Never mind!” *hangs up*

    Me: *speechless*

    Spontaneous Degeneration

    | Florida, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a high end retail store that sells frogs in little tanks.)

    Customer: “Do the frogs come out of rocks?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “The frogs? Do they come out of rocks?”

    Me: “No. Frogs come from eggs.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Haagen-Dogs

    | USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a grocery store and know that store manager, who is my neighbor.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, you guys actually have my favorite ice cream!”

    Me: “Well, that’s good.”

    (I pick up the box of the ice cream and notice a dog on it. Then I notice the name “Purina”.)

    Me: “Ma’am, did you know this is ice cream for dogs?”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It was in a freezer! I can’t believe [store owner's name] knows someone so stupid!”

    Me: “I can’t believe it either.”

    Does This Mean I Need A Water Stone

    | Connecticut, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

    (I am helping a man at the fish department when this happens.)

    Customer: “So, goldfish evolve into koi when they outgrow their tank…”

    (I look at him waiting for him to say he’s joking, but he’s completely serious.)

    Me: “It’s a fish, sir, not a pokémon.”

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