Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
    (2,083 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction

    | South Deerfield, MA, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I am holding one of our Bearded Dragon Lizards for customers to pet.)

    Customer: “Okay, so I know they’re Bearded Dragons, but what are they?”

    Me: “They are Bearded Dragons.”

    Customer: “I know that, but aren’t they a type of insect or something?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They are a type of reptile.”

    Customer: “Oh. Are they related to the ones that breathe fire?”

    Ignoring The Lack Of An Elephant In The Room

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Someone told me you have elephant rides out there.”

    Me: “No ma’am, we have camel rides and pony rides, but no elephant rides.”

    Customer: “But no elephant rides?”

    Me: “No ma’am, we don’t have elephants here.”

    Customer: “But someone told me you had elephant rides!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that person must have been mistaken. We do not have elephant rides.”

    Customer: “Well, where can I ride an elephant, then?”

    Noah’s Nondescript Ark

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “So, uh, on this tour, will I, uh, feed the…uh…tall things, and uh, the not as tall…things?”

    Me: “You mean the giraffes…and rhinos?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s it! It’s like you’re reading my mind!”

    No Sting In This Tale

    | Silver Spring, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (Note: we sell fake jelly fish as tank decorations.)

    Me: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “I want some jelly fish, but I need you to answer some questions first.”

    Me: “Of course. Go for it.”

    Customer: “How do I keep them alive in this plastic packaging?”

    Me: “They aren’t alive.”

    Customer: “So why are you trying to sell them?!”

    Me: “They’re decorations. They’re made of plastic.”

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know this?”

    Me: “They are plastic, have a string attached to them, have a sign that says ‘plastic jelly fish’, and they say ‘made in china’ on them.”

    Customer: *pause* “I’ll just take one of those castle decorations…”

    Not Quite An Eggs-pert

    | St Paul, MN, USA | Pets & Animals

    Me: “Oh, what kind of pet do you have?

    Customer: “Parakeets. I think one of them is pregnant. I saw them having sex the other day.”

    Me: “Birds don’t get pregnant, they lay eggs. In fact, I used to have a female parakeet that would lay eggs all the time.”

    Customer: “Did they ever hatch?”

    Me: “No, she lived by herself, so they weren’t fertilized.”

    Customer: “Oh, is that what the male is for?”

    Related:
    Asking The Eggs-pert


    Page 44/49First...4243444546...Last