Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!
(It is the Christmas season and we sell clothing for dogs and cats. An old lady comes in and finds me standing near the birdcages.)
Me: “Hello, ma’am! How can I help you today?”
Customer: “Do you have Santa hats?”
Me: “Why yes, they’re right here.”
Customer: *looks them over* “No, these are much too big.”
Me: “What size of pet are you looking to buy a hat for?”
Me: “A Chihuahua?”
Me: “A teacup Yorkie?”
Customer: “My Cockatoo!”
Customer: “Yes! I need to buy 10 Santa hats. One for each of my beloveds. Do you have any that small?”
Me: “I don’t believe so.”
Customer: “What do you mean?! This is a pet store! Why don’t you have any Santa hats for my babies?!”
Me: *walking toward front door* “Well, ma’am, if you walk about 10 feet to your left, you’ll find [craft store] and I’m sure they’ll have all your Santa hat needs.”
Customer: “Thank you! This is what good customer service is all about!”
(She leaves. About an hour later, we receive an angry call.)
Customer: *enraged* “Why didn’t she tell me it was a craft store and I had to make my own? Who the h*** wants to make their own Santa hats?!”
Coworker: *on phone* "For a turtle? No ma’am, we only have those for cats and dogs. … I’ve never heard of that before, but if they exist, we don’t carry them. … I’m sorry, I’m a cashier and I’m not allowed to make those kinds of decisions. … Okay, you’re welcome."
*hangs up phone*
Me: "Did she want a pet carrier for a turtle?"
Coworker: "Yeah, and when I told her that we don’t have them, she asked if we would carry them if she invented one."
(This takes place after setting up installation date for the caller’s service.)
Me: “Now, do you have any pets or animals that we need the technician to know about?”
Caller: “Nah, he’ll be alright. I’ll just tie my kids up in the back-yard.”
Me: “Okay, well I’d like to do some tests on your cat.”
Client: “Which kind of tests, how does that work?”
Me: “I’d like to do some blood-work. We take it just like a doctor would take human blood.”
Client: “Cats have blood?!”
Customer: “Do you have any wasp spray?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re currently out. Maybe [other store] has it.”
(The customer thanks me and walks away. Thirty minutes later I see him at the checkout with a super-soaker, some lighters and a one liter bottle of lighter fluid. I just stare at him in disbelief.)
Customer: “Wish me luck!”