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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    No, It’s Because The Owner Is Stupid

    | London, UK | Pets & Animals

    (A man brings his dog into our supermarket.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there are no dogs allowed inside unless it is a service dog.”

    Customer: *with straight face* “It’s because my dog is black, isn’t it? I could sue you!”

    Woofing Vicariously

    | Tennessee, USA | Pets & Animals

    (A customer brings in two Chihuahuas for nail trims.)

    Customer: “The male will need to be muzzled.”

    (The groomer prefers not to muzzle a dog unless absolutely necessary, but gets the correctly-sized muzzle, and put it on the dog as requested. The dog struggles a bit, but is not unduly stressed.)

    Customer: *screaming* “Take it off! Take it off! It’s too tight! I’m claustrophobic!”

    Human Tested, Dog Approved

    | Annapolis, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (A man and woman come to my register with a cart full of dog products. They have no dog with them, but the man notices the bowl of dog treats we keep at the registers for dogs who come into the store.)

    Man: “Can I have one of those?”

    Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Man: *takes a dog treat from the bowl and eats it*

    Me: “Sir?!”

    Woman: “Don’t worry, he’s tried dog treats before.”

    Man: “Yeah, this one tasted like s***.”

    Color Me Stupid, Part 3

    | Ohio, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I have a new kitten for an appointment.”

    Me: “Okay, let me get some information from you…”

    (I get a lot of information and come to the question about color.)

    Me: “And what color is the cat?”

    Customer: “It’s cream.”

    Me: “Cream and white?”

    Customer: “No, just plain cream colored!”

    (We get back to the room and I take the cat out of the carrier. It’s a black cat.)

    Related:
    Color Me Stupid, Part 2
    Color Me Stupid

    Wetness Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

    | Brisbane, Australia | Pets & Animals

    (I operate a mobile pet hydrobath, and I’m brushing knots out of a border collie before washing him. He is still completely dry when his owner comes out of the house.)

    Customer: “Where’s the drowned rat?”

    Me: *laughs* “He’s not drowned yet. I’m just going to brush out these knots.”

    Customer: *to his dog* “Aww, who’s a drowned rat?”

    (I figure he can’t see into the bath and didn’t hear me.)

    Me: “I haven’t washed him yet. I’m just giving him a good brush first.”

    (The owner climbs into the trailer where he can clearly see the completely dry dog.)

    Customer: *to his dog* “Now that’s a drowned rat if ever I saw one!”

    Me: “Heh, not yet—”

    Customer: *to his dog* “Who’s a drowned rat?”


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