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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    This Time With Meaning

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (I have on a pair of frog earrings. The face and arms of the frog are in the front, and the legs dangle from the back of the ear.)

    Customer: “Oh, those earrings are so cute!”

    Me: “Thanks, my boyfriend got them for me.”

    Customer: “Oh you must love frogs!”

    Me: “No… they’re just fun.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, then, he must love frogs!”

    Me: “No, he just thought they were fun.”

    Customer: “Well, are you French?”

    Me: “Um, well, yeah…”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. So that’s why he got them!”

    The Purple Flower Eater

    | USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Pets & Animals

    Manager: *answering phone* “[Complex Manager]’s office. This is [Manager].”

    Resident: “Someone dug up my flowers! The purple ones! It’s because purple is the gay color. They think I’m gay, and they hate me, so they dug up my flowers!”

    Manager: “Slow down, [Resident]. Who dug up your flowers?”

    Resident: “People who hate me because they think I’m gay!”

    Manager: “O… kay. When did you plant these flowers?”

    Resident: “Yesterday. I had that row of white flowers, and I planted the purple ones in between. It went white, purple, white, purple. But they only dug up the purple ones!”

    Manager: “Did you do anything special when you planted the purple ones?”

    Resident: “Well, yes. I put some fish pieces in the soil because I heard that it was supposed to help the plants grow.”

    Manager: “… [Resident], I think that raccoons dug up your flowers to get at the fish.”

    Resident: “What? No, that can’t be. Raccoons are very respectful of nature. They wouldn’t do that.”

    Turned Into A Dog Day Afternoon

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

    (I’ve been having a really bad day due to a customer I had earlier. An older gentleman comes up to my till and I smile weakly at him.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

    Customer #1: “I’m doing just fine, little lady. How are you?”

    Me: “I’m all right. Are you getting the dog food as well?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, but I’m going to pay for that with cash, if that’s all right?”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    (I continue to check out the grocery portion of it and he pays. I next begin scanning the dog food when a woman behind him in line sees it and flicks her gaze to Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, sir?”

    (Both he and I look at the woman. I’m bracing myself for an altercation.)

    Customer #2: “I just really love dogs. Would you mind if I buy those for you?”

    Customer #1: “Y-you don’t have to!”

    Customer #2: “I know, but I want to. I really love dogs and I want to do anything I can for them.”

    (With Customer #1′s blessing, she added the cans of dog food to her $30 order. Faith in humanity was restored and my day improved after that!)

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    Taking Cosplay To A Whole New Scale(s)

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a bystander at a convention where three of my friends are dressed as characters from a very popular ninja anime. One of them is dressed as a character who works with snakes a lot of the time and half the time can be seen with one draped over his shoulders. My friend shows up with an ACTUAL boa constrictor, about four feet long, wrapped around his neck. It is very even-tempered, so it looks like a fake snake hanging there. We’re at the concession area of the convention center and it’s still early, so no one has noticed the snake around his neck.)

    Cashier: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Me: “Yeah, we’d like [menu item].”

    Friend: *in character* “Do you perhaps have any mice for my friend, here?”

    Cashier: *seems to recognize the character and laughs* “Sorry, [Anime Character Name], I’m afraid I’m all out. Love that thing by the way; I thought it was real for a minute there.”

    (We almost got away with it, but my friend had a bit of a creepy streak and actually uncoiled the snake from around his neck, revealing it to be very much a real snake. The cashier screamed, staggered backward, and then bolted out from behind the counter, taking off down the aisle. The four of us made tracks out of the convention center before we were personally escorted out. I gave my friend a whack before we all started laughing hysterically.)

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