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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Sell To A Betta Person

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I want betta fish. What size tank for those?”

    Me: “I recommend at least a gallon, but if you can afford a five gallon one, that would be great!”

    (The customer picks up one that holds only a pint of water.)

    Customer: “How about this one?”

    Me: “I really don’t recommend keeping your betta in a tank that small. Those are meant for temporary holding only. It’s not suited as a permanent home.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not? It says it’s for betta fish!”

    Me: “Yes but that tank does not offer the amount of room necessary for a betta. It might be able to survive for a time, but it’s the equivalent of shoving a large dog in a closet and keeping it there for two years.”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Fish don’t think. They can’t feel pain. They’re nothing.”

    Me: “As a matter of fact, they do. Their perception of pain is even more sensitive than humans.”

    Customer: “Why should I care?”

    Me: “If you don’t care, why do you want one if the first place?”

    Customer: “To look nice! I want a pretty fish for people to look at when they visit my home!”

    (I realize this customer isn’t going to provide a decent home for the fish, and refuse her the sale. The store owner agrees with me, and the customer storms out fishless.)

    6 Funny Vet Stories Where The Customer Is Not Always Right

    | Not Always Right | Pets & Animals, Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: At The Vet! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories that occur at the veterinarian!

    1. So Dumb It Hurts (6,719 thumbs up)
    2. The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered (3,717 thumbs up)
    3. Going Bananas (6,864 thumbs up)
    4. Ah, The Wonders Of Osmosis (2,326 thumbs up)
    5. And Here’s To You, Fido Robinson (3,564 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Doesn’t Make A Lycan Sense

    | USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    (We get a lot of kids at the library where I work. One of our regular customers, who’s about eight years old, walks up to me.)

    Customer: “[My name], I have an important question.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Are werewolves real?”

    Me: “Nope, werewolves are made up.”

    (He looks taken aback, like that wasn’t the response he was expecting.)

    Customer: “What?! But, but wolves are real!”

    Me: “Right. But wolves are wolves, and people are people.

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “If you’re born a wolf, you’re a wolf for the rest of your life. If you’re born a person, you’ll stay a person. So since you were born a person, you’ll never turn into a wolf.”

    (The customer thinks about this for a minute.)

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!”

    (The customer walks away, slowly shaking his head.)

    How To Train Your Customer

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A shipment of bearded dragons has just arrived at the store, and I’m placing them into the designated habitat when a customer walks up.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

    Me: “They’re baby bearded dragons.”

    Customer: “Are those considered lizards or dragons?”

    Me: “Uhh… they’re lizards, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *walks off disappointed*

    Whiskers Away From Fur-Ball Abuse

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work for a small, privately owned, non-profit, no-kill animal shelter. We are full to capacity as kitten season is in full swing. A woman calls wanting to give up her cat to us.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but we are currently full and have no open cages.”

    Customer: “So if I bring you guys a cage, you’ll take my cat?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. You see, we have no room for another cage.”

    Customer: “You can’t just shove the cat in a corner somewhere?”

    Me: “Um… I’m afraid not, ma’am. However, I can provide you with the names and phone numbers of several other local shelters that may be able to help you.”

    Customer: “Oh, that sounds good! Do you know if they’ll be able to take my cat?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “To save time, please only give me numbers of shelters who have room for my cat!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we are a private shelter, and not affiliated with any other locations. I wouldn’t know how many vacancies other shelters have at the moment.”

    Customer: “Well, why not?! That’s so unprofessional! You should know things like that!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m generally too busy feeding the animals in the morning to call around to every local shelter and ask how many open cages they have that day.”

    Customer: “YOU SHOULD! YOU SHOULD SPEND LESS TIME WORRYING ABOUT ANIMALS, AND MORE TIME HELPING CUSTOMERS!”

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