November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

I Smell A Rat

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(A guest rings up hotel:)

Guest: “This is a strange request, but is it possible to bring live rats and keep them in the room overnight?”

Should Have Tried To Squirrel Away

| Austin, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Pets & Animals

(After clocking off from work and grabbing a basket to do some quick shopping for dinner, I am stopped no more than 10 seconds into my shopping by an elderly customer looking for items. I am off the clock, but am always willing to answer questions while still in uniform, especially now that our location is undergoing renovation and a lot of customers get frustrated with the item relocation.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but where are the peanuts for squirrels, and the wild bird seed?”

Me: “Well, we moved the bird seed to [Aisle #] but I’m afraid we don’t carry peanuts for squirrels. We have corn cobs and…”

Customer: *cuts me off with a disbelieving tone* “Yes, YOU DO. I used to buy it all the time. It was over by the bananas, but now they’re not there anymore!”

Me: *thinking maybe I had missed something* “You said peanuts for squirrels?”

Customer: “Yes, they were raw, unsalted peanuts and they came in a clear package by the bananas. They’re not made for squirrels, but that’s what I feed them.”

(At this point it dawned on me she was talking about one of the many kinds of specially packaged nuts we kept in the produce section. I was wondering why she had phrased the request the way she did when a well-meaning coworker who had overheard the exchange (and knew I was off the clock), came by and offered to show her where the peanuts were moved to. That was probably the funniest exchange I’d had all day.)

More Than Just A Pet Hate

| USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(The owner brings in a little, quite adorable, mixed breed dog. After talking about everything under the sun about her pet’s healthcare we get to the topic of having her pet spayed, which the owner agrees to.)

Me: “We have to wait a couple more months but this is an estimate for how much the spay is going to cost, so you can go ahead and plan for it.”

Owner: *looks at estimate and her face gets really red and she yells* “It says here you have to put my pet under anesthesia!”

Me: “Well, yes, she is getting spayed. It is a it is a surgical procedure where we have to go into the abdomen and remove the—”

Owner: “You are trying to rip me off! There is no reason my pet should have to be asleep for that!”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is a abdominal surgical procedure—”


Me: “Well, that is a very different procedure than the one we are discussing. Doing surgery on an animal is different than a human.”

(The owner goes into a rant about how she read on the Internet that vets like to rip people off and that her pet will die if she is put under anesthesia.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you want someone to hold you down, cut into your abdomen, and remove your reproductive organs while you are awake!?”


Me: “NO! We are a medical practice, not Macy’s. Your pet is our patient.”

Owner: “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing! I’m going to take my pet to a more competent vet!”

(I then gave her her pet’s records and off she went ranting and raving without even paying her office visit fee.)

Boy, What A Problem!

| USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I’m a vet tech. The first appointment of the day is two ladies in their 30s bring in a young Shih Tzu puppy for its first visit. The owners tell me that this is their first puppy.)

Me: “Wow, what a cute little guy. How long have you had him?”

Owner: “Him? The breeder told us it was a girl.”

(I lift puppy up and all the male parts are there, I then turn him around and show owners. Both owners look shocked!)


Me: “Ma’am, he has a penis and testicles.”

Owner: “NO! NO, IT’S A GIRL!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you look here there is—”

Owner: “The breeder said it’s just a ambilican hernia and I believe the breeder! Why would he lie?”

Me: “Umm, I don’t know, ma’am. It’s pronounced umbilical hernia, and no, he doesn’t have one. That is his prepuce which sheathes his penis.”

Owner: “What do you know? You’re not a vet! I want to talk to a vet!”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I walked out and informed my vet of the clients’ concerns. I went into the room with the vet and he told them the same thing. The owners actually continued to try to argue with my vet as to whether it was a boy!)

Has Slugs And Snails And Puppy Dog Tails

| AZ, USA | Pets & Animals

Customer: “I need someone to treat around my water meter.”

Me: “What kind of pests are you seeing?”

Customer: “I am not sure. They are either scorpions or rats. They have tails.”

Me: *aside to coworker* “Puppies have tails. Do you think there are puppies in his water box?”