Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Making Them Sleep With The Fishes

| AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Me: *answering phone* “Hi. Welcome to [Pet Store], where pets are family. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello, I’m looking to return a fish that I bought yesterday. He is dead now.”

(She seems a little slow, and mumbles at the same time, so I just assume that she is embarrassed by the fact that the fish died so quickly.)

Me: “Of course we can. Just as long as you bring in the receipt, and the body of the fish, we can exchange it. No problem.”

Caller: “Oh. Okay. That’s good.”

Me: “Was that everything today?”

Caller: “I was wondering if it was my fault.”

Me: “Sorry? Do you mean if it was your fault if the fish died? I am sure that it wasn’t your fault. These things happen.”

Caller: “Well, was it my fault when I hit him on the head with a spoon?”

Me: “Excuse me? Why would you do that?”

Caller: “Well, he wasn’t going to sleep so I hit him on a head with a spoon. So he would sleep.”

Me: “That’s… not how it works.”

Caller: “Oh. Well. I’ll come for my other fish now.” *click*

Taking The Man Out Of Spiderman

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I work as a receptionist for my dad’s chiropractic office. Most of the patients are lovely, but we do have some odd ones. One patient in particular is a little bit sexist, but because he’s never intends to be outright rude, I just try to ignore his somewhat sexist comments. Today when he comes in he tries to play a little joke on me.)

Patient: *comes up to the desk and starts pointing at a random spot on it* “There’s a spider! Get it! Get it!”

(I casually look around, as I have had spiders sneak their way to my desk before, but I don’t see anything.)

Me: “Where is it? I don’t see it.”

Patient: *gives a bit of an odd look* “Right there! Get it!”

Me: *look again but still doesn’t see anything* “I still don’t see it. I guess it got away.” *shrugs*

Patient: *gives me another weird look* “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

Me: “Spiders don’t really bug me.”

Patient: “Oh… should I have said it was a snake?”

Me: “They don’t bug me either. I actually like snakes.”

Patient: *looks baffled* “What kind of woman are you?!”

Afraid To Be Their Guinea Pig

| Bryan, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I am not actually a store associate but I try to help out since I work as a vendor within the store and I have plenty of information from my veterinary college program. So, I was not really getting paid to do this.)

Customer: “Yes. I would like to know about these gerbils. I want a pet for my daughter. She just turned six.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, gerbils tend to bite if not handled properly.”

Customer: *gasps and points to the guinea pigs* “They bite?!”

Me: “Oh. Those are guinea pigs. And no those don’t usually bite.”

Customer: “Oh, guinea pigs.”

Me: “So were you interested in getting one?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(She starts asking about all the information on guinea pigs, which is on the info card right under the aquarium at eye level. Shrugging it off, I answer her questions.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Which one is the healthiest?”

Me: “Uh. All of them.”

Customer: “Okay. But which one is the healthiest?”

Me: “Ma’am, they wouldn’t be on display if they weren’t healthy.”

Customer: “Which is the youngest?”

Me: “Since they came from a breeding distributor they are all the same age. Most people pick them out by what colored fur they have.”

Customer: “Okay. But which is the youngest?”

Me: “You’ll have to ask up front for that information.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I can leave one of these alone for a week?”

Me: “… Seven days? No, ma’am. There aren’t any pets aside from some fish you could ever leave alone for that long.”

Customer: “Oh. What if it’s just a weekend?”

Me: “No, ma’am. If something happened to their water supply or they got hurt there would be no one there to make sure it was okay.”

(At this point I don’t want her taking an animal due to her lack of knowledge and the potential danger the pet would be put in.)

Me: *hands her a book on guinea pigs* “There is also plenty of information online so you can be better prepared.”

Customer: “Okay.” *turns to her daughter* “We better just get this! It’s a lot more work than we thought for your first pet!”

Daughter: “Second. We had a fish.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Second pet.”

(I shook my head as I walked back to my store section, thinking that the fish is definitely dead.)

Roadkill Is A Feline-y

| UK | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Transportation

(I’ve just started working on the reception and a customer comes rushing in.)

Customer: “Oh, my god, you have to help. I’ve just run over a cat!”

Me: “I think the vet is still in the building. If you bring the cat straight through to the back I’ll run and get him.”

Customer: “I don’t have it with me!”

Me: “Is someone else bringing it in? How injured is it? We can get everything ready.”

Customer: “I don’t know. It’s on [motorway at least 10 miles away], and I just wanted you to let the owner know.”

Me: “So… you hit it on the motorway? And you want me to find the owner and let them know?”

Customer: “Yes, please. I already feel terribly guilty and would feel worse knowing the owner didn’t know.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do my best. Thanks?”

Making The Feathers Fly

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I am a chef. The server is fairly new. This is one of her first solo shifts. This couple comes in at the very end of lunch. They are the only customers in the building.)

Male Customer: “Are the chickens fresh?”

Server: “Yup. We pull the feathers in the back.”

Male Customer: “Okay. I’ll take the chicken sandwich and some feathers.”

Female Customer: “I’ll have the cheeseburger.”

(The server enters their order in the computer. She then grabs their drinks and drops them off at the table.)

Male Customer: “Where are the feathers?”

Server: “I just rang them in.” *laughs*

(I cook the food and call out for the server. She picks up the order and brings it out to the table.)

Male Customer: “Where are my f****** feathers? If you don’t bring me my f****** feathers I am going to punch you in the face.”

Server: “I’ll be right back.”

(She goes and gets the manager who goes up to the table.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Male Customer: “I want my feathers. She said you had chicken feathers. She said you had them. If she doesn’t bring them out I am going to punch her.”

Manager: “You need to leave. Now.”

(As strange as this whole situation was, looking back on it now the thing I found the weirdest wasn’t the chicken feather guy. It was his girlfriend that didn’t say a thing through the entire ‘WTF’ conversation the guy had with the server and the manager.)

Page 19/70First...1718192021...Last