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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    There Can Be Only One (Pet At A Time)

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I’m shopping for pet supplies at my local store when I overhear a conversation.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss?”

    Employee: “Yes, ma’am? How can I help you?”

    Customer: “My son’s gerbil just died. It was only two years old. He’s been completely miserable ever since.”

    Employee: “Oh… I’m sorry about that. Did you want to look for a new pet? Our small animal section is right over here. We have hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs—”

    Customer: “Yes. But I don’t see much point in getting an animal that’s just going to die in two years. Don’t you have any animals that don’t die?”

    Employee: “…excuse me?”

    Customer: Animals… that… don’t… die. Do you have any?”

    (The employee gives her a blank look.)

    Customer: “Do you have them or not?!”

    Employee: “Um, I’m afraid all animals die eventually, ma’am. There’s nothing we can do about that.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll just go to [rival store], because you people have nothing but inferior products here!”

    (The customer storms out of the store, leaving the bewildered associate standing there by herself. She makes eye contact with me from across the aisle, and we both start cracking up.)

    Sell To A Betta Person

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I want betta fish. What size tank for those?”

    Me: “I recommend at least a gallon, but if you can afford a five gallon one, that would be great!”

    (The customer picks up one that holds only a pint of water.)

    Customer: “How about this one?”

    Me: “I really don’t recommend keeping your betta in a tank that small. Those are meant for temporary holding only. It’s not suited as a permanent home.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not? It says it’s for betta fish!”

    Me: “Yes but that tank does not offer the amount of room necessary for a betta. It might be able to survive for a time, but it’s the equivalent of shoving a large dog in a closet and keeping it there for two years.”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Fish don’t think. They can’t feel pain. They’re nothing.”

    Me: “As a matter of fact, they do. Their perception of pain is even more sensitive than humans.”

    Customer: “Why should I care?”

    Me: “If you don’t care, why do you want one if the first place?”

    Customer: “To look nice! I want a pretty fish for people to look at when they visit my home!”

    (I realize this customer isn’t going to provide a decent home for the fish, and refuse her the sale. The store owner agrees with me, and the customer storms out fishless.)

    6 Funny Vet Stories Where The Customer Is Not Always Right

    | Not Always Right | Pets & Animals, Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: At The Vet! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories that occur at the veterinarian!

    1. So Dumb It Hurts (6,719 thumbs up)
    2. The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered (3,717 thumbs up)
    3. Going Bananas (6,864 thumbs up)
    4. Ah, The Wonders Of Osmosis (2,326 thumbs up)
    5. And Here’s To You, Fido Robinson (3,564 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Doesn’t Make A Lycan Sense

    | USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    (We get a lot of kids at the library where I work. One of our regular customers, who’s about eight years old, walks up to me.)

    Customer: “[My name], I have an important question.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Are werewolves real?”

    Me: “Nope, werewolves are made up.”

    (He looks taken aback, like that wasn’t the response he was expecting.)

    Customer: “What?! But, but wolves are real!”

    Me: “Right. But wolves are wolves, and people are people.

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “If you’re born a wolf, you’re a wolf for the rest of your life. If you’re born a person, you’ll stay a person. So since you were born a person, you’ll never turn into a wolf.”

    (The customer thinks about this for a minute.)

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!”

    (The customer walks away, slowly shaking his head.)

    How To Train Your Customer

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A shipment of bearded dragons has just arrived at the store, and I’m placing them into the designated habitat when a customer walks up.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

    Me: “They’re baby bearded dragons.”

    Customer: “Are those considered lizards or dragons?”

    Me: “Uhh… they’re lizards, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *walks off disappointed*


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