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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Turned Into A Dog Day Afternoon

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

    (I’ve been having a really bad day due to a customer I had earlier. An older gentleman comes up to my till and I smile weakly at him.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

    Customer #1: “I’m doing just fine, little lady. How are you?”

    Me: “I’m all right. Are you getting the dog food as well?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, but I’m going to pay for that with cash, if that’s all right?”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    (I continue to check out the grocery portion of it and he pays. I next begin scanning the dog food when a woman behind him in line sees it and flicks her gaze to Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, sir?”

    (Both he and I look at the woman. I’m bracing myself for an altercation.)

    Customer #2: “I just really love dogs. Would you mind if I buy those for you?”

    Customer #1: “Y-you don’t have to!”

    Customer #2: “I know, but I want to. I really love dogs and I want to do anything I can for them.”

    (With Customer #1’s blessing, she added the cans of dog food to her $30 order. Faith in humanity was restored and my day improved after that!)

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    Taking Cosplay To A Whole New Scale(s)

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a bystander at a convention where three of my friends are dressed as characters from a very popular ninja anime. One of them is dressed as a character who works with snakes a lot of the time and half the time can be seen with one draped over his shoulders. My friend shows up with an ACTUAL boa constrictor, about four feet long, wrapped around his neck. It is very even-tempered, so it looks like a fake snake hanging there. We’re at the concession area of the convention center and it’s still early, so no one has noticed the snake around his neck.)

    Cashier: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Me: “Yeah, we’d like [menu item].”

    Friend: *in character* “Do you perhaps have any mice for my friend, here?”

    Cashier: *seems to recognize the character and laughs* “Sorry, [Anime Character Name], I’m afraid I’m all out. Love that thing by the way; I thought it was real for a minute there.”

    (We almost got away with it, but my friend had a bit of a creepy streak and actually uncoiled the snake from around his neck, revealing it to be very much a real snake. The cashier screamed, staggered backward, and then bolted out from behind the counter, taking off down the aisle. The four of us made tracks out of the convention center before we were personally escorted out. I gave my friend a whack before we all started laughing hysterically.)

    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction, Part 2

    | Lynnwood, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I was getting my best friend some candy at a grocery store to cheer her up, when I am approached by a lady who is at a sample station with dog treats.)

    Customer: “Do happen to have a dog at home?”

    Me: “Actually, I don’t. We only have a bunch of reptiles.”

    Customer: “Reptiles, huh. When I was out this state, we caught large iguanas about this big—” *stretches out arms, maybe four feet* “—from the jungle and ate them.”

    Me: “Iguanas can get very large.”

    Customer: “It was delicious, but I don’t recommend eating your pets.”

    Me: “No, that would be pretty messed up.”

    (Luckily some people walked up to her table and she went to help. I wasn’t sure how to react to someone telling me they enjoy eating the pets I love.)

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    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction

    Can Make Your Head Swim

    | Stevens Point, WI, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (At the call center I work at we get weird calls from people testing out the service all the time. Some include random trivia questions, about random subjects. We have to answer all questions seriously and try to get sources if we can.)

    Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company] Concierge. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

    (At this point I see he is calling in from Texas.)

    Me: “Certainly, I’ll do my best to answer any question you may have.”

    Customer: “Well, this is a serious question. Are you sure?”

    Me: “Anything at all. No need to be shy. What’s the question?”

    Customer: “Well… um… can deer swim?”

    Me: “Let me check for you, sir… Well, sir, I found a YouTube video of a deer swimming, and I’m watching it right now. So, yes. Deer can swim.”

    Customer: “For real?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, deer can swim.”

    Customer: “I just don’t believe it. I need to see it myself. Can you send me a link to that video?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. It will just take a second as I send that.”

    Customer: *slightly muffled* “Honey, sounds like deer can swim. I know. I can’t believe it.”

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