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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Pets & Animals

    Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers, Part 2

    | Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work for a large adventure playground which is situated in a park. We are strictly a ‘no pets allowed’ establishment; however, the park is popular with dog walkers and is used for obedience and agility classes, so it is a common occurrence to have people come along with their dogs and get frustrated when we have to turn them away. In this situation I am overhearing one of my coworkers speaking on the phone.)

    Coworker #1: “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

    (Pause.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our playground has a strict ‘no pets allowed’ policy.”

    (Longer pause.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry to hear that, but we really can’t make exceptions.”

    (Pause.)

    Coworker #1: “Ye—” *pause* “But I—” *pause* “We—” *pause* “No, th—” *pause*

    (This carries on for some time, until eventually my coworker seems to give up.)

    Coworker #1: *speaking very loudly* “YES, MA’AM, I UNDERSTAND. I’M SORRY WE COULDN’T WORK THINGS OUT. HAVE A NICE DAY.”

    (He hangs up the phone with force and drops his head to the counter.)

    Coworker #2: “Another person wanting to bring their puppy in, huh?”

    Coworker #1: “No. She wanted to bring her HORSE.”

    Related:
    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

    As Sick As A Parrot

    | New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)

    Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”

    Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”

    Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”

    Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”

    Father: “Weasel.”

    (The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)

    Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”

    Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”

    Father: “Parrot!? That’s a weasel!”

    Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”

    Father: “You sure?”

    Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”

    Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”

    (They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)

    Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”

    Child: “Ferret.”

    Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”

    Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”

    It’s A Grey(hound) Area

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I was working in the call centre for a well-known bus company named after a type of dog. An ad was running at the time for a companion fare (buy one, get one) and it featured images of the type of dog the company is named after. One afternoon I get a call in regards to the pricing and rules for the fare. After giving this info the caller has one last question:)

    Caller: “So, to use this companion fare, does my companion HAVE to be a dog?”

    Out Back Fishing

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I’m the manager on duty. At the time I’m back in the aquatics department feeding the fish when a customer approaches.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I help you with anything, Ma’am?”

    Customer: *points to one of the tanks* “Do you have any more of these in the back?”

    Me: *I assume she’s gesturing to the fake plants, which we sell* “Possibly, but we also have them out on the floor. I can show you the aisle.”

    (I take her over to the decor aisle.)

    Customer: “No, not those!” *walks back over to the tank, jabbing her finger at the glass*  “Those!”

    Me: “The… fish?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “I’m… sorry. But, ah… no. These tanks are the only place we keep the fish. I don’t put them in the stockroom.”

    Customer: *huffs and walks away*

    Emotional Blackmail Was Worth A Shot

    | Townsend, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

    (I own a kennel which provides both boarding & grooming services. I answer the phone:)

    Me: “Good morning, [Kennel]. May I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to board my dog. We’re here on vacation.”

    Me: “Very good. What dates would you like to board your dog?”

    Caller: “We need to bring her in today. We wanna go to Dollywood!”

    Me: “We do have space for her, but we require proof of vaccinations: rabies, the distemper shot, which includes several other vaccines in it, and also bordetella, which is kennel cough.”

    Caller: “WHAT?! We don’t have that with us! You HAVE to take our dog!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re required by law that every dog has to have current vaccinations. It protects not only your dog, but all the other dogs here as well. You could have your vet call us and confirm that your dog is protected. If you don’t have a vet, I can give you the number of several veterinary practices near you, and they can administer the needed shots today.”

    Caller: “NO! You WILL take our dog! You don’t want to make my children cry!”

    (I can then hear the woman talking to her family:)

    Caller: “This mean woman just told me that she won’t let you go to Dollywood! She’s going to ruin our vacation!”

    (I can then hear wailing (as if on cue) from several children.)

    Caller: “Now look what you’ve done! You made my children cry! I hope that makes you happy! Now are you going to take our dog or are you going to ruin our vacation?!”

    Me: I’m sorry, but without proof of vaccinations, I can’t take your dog.”

    Caller: “Well f*** you! You ruined our vacation!” *hangs up*

    Me: Well, all righty then!

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