Cancelling The Doorway To Time Travel

(It’s about eight in the morning and we’ve been open for two hours. I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store Name and location], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I ordered a door yesterday.”

Me: “Okay, did—“

Caller: “I canceled it today.”

Me: “Okay. D—“

Caller: “But I have a receipt that says I paid for it.”

Me: “Hold on, please.” *I mute the phone and turn to my associate at the other desk* “Hey, did a guy come in this morning and cancel his door?”

Coworker: “Yeah, the charge hadn’t even gone through with his bank yet, so he’s good. It’s already canceled out.”

Me: “Okay.” *picks up phone* “Sir, when was your receipt dated? The one that says you paid for it?”

Caller: “Yesterday.”

Me: “And you canceled it this morning?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “So.. you… canceled it.”

Caller: “Yeah, but this receipt says I paid for it!”

Me: “The receipt is from the day before you paid for it.”

Caller: “…”

Me: “So it isn’t valid anymore.”

Caller: “But—“

Me: “The receipt from the day you placed the order has been overridden by the cancellation of the order, which was done today. Your receipt is now invalid.”

Caller: “So… I won’t be charged?”

Me: “No, sir.”

(After the call ends, I turn to the other associate.)

Me: “Well, it looks like we’ve got a time-traveling ‘Receipt-Lord’ on our hands, guys.”