Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7
    (2,040 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Calling B.S. On Your B.S.

    | Michigan, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [university]. What can I help you with today?”

    Caller: “Yes, hi. I would like to know how to be an alumni. Like, how do I get the alumni membership of this university?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, have you graduated from our university?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “So you are still attending this university at the moment?”

    Caller: “No. I just want the benefits. I can get money off on my insurance, but I need you to make me an alumni officially.”

    Me: “Have you ever attended our university?”

    Caller: *impatient* “No! Can you just tell me how to do this?”

    Me: “Well, an alumni is someone who has graduated with an actual degree from the university. You cannot be an alumni unless you have graduated with a degree.”

    Caller: *silent*

    Me: “One of our degrees.”

    Caller: *still silent*

    Me: “Only graduates from our university can have our alumni benefits.”

    Caller: “What?!”

    Me: “You can’t be an alumni and have those benefits without graduating from here.”

    Caller: “What? I just want it for insurance. How come you can’t understand this?!”

    (This went on for another fifteen minutes before she gave up!)