(Note: I’m an Air Cadet packing bags at a store in return for donations.)

Customer: “So, what are you collecting for?”

Me: “Air Cadets, ma’am.”

Customer: “Army cadets, ‘ay?”

Me: “No, ma’am…Air Cadets.”

Customer: “I used to be an Army Cadet. I loved being on them big old boats.”

Me: “I think you were a Sea Cadet.”

Customer: “Well, anyway, I’ll always donate to the Army Cadets. Stop them d*** Air Cadets from ruling the sea!”

Me: “But ma’am…we fly, not sail.”

Customer: “No, that can’t be right! It was them d*** sea cadets that did that flying business. No, air cadets were the ones who were always crawling through mud.”

Me: “But ma’am, I–”

Customer: “Well, this should give you enough to buy a new sail. I don’t know why I donate so much, you know!” *hands me an old three pence piece*